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Thread: I'm scared

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    1

    Default I'm scared

    I am a first time mother due in 6 days i have always known i wanted to breast feed but i've seen all of my friends struggle. One couldn't produce enough and when she tried to pump it got worse not better. She would just cry cause she didn't know what to do. Another just didn't have the patiance to breast feed and just gave up. I'm scared that I won't be able to give my baby the best loving bonding experiance because of my fear

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,467

    Default Re: I'm scared

    YOU WILL. It's only a small percentage that really "can not" BF. You will be fine. The first thing you need to do is relax an trust your body. Feed your baby anytime he/she needs because that is going to stimulate your body to make the amount of milk needed for your LO. You can't tell how much milk you make by how much milk you pump. Baby is much more efficient. Remeber that if you're a nervous wreck while trying to feed your child, the child will feel it. Sit down, take a deep breath and bring baby to the breast. I would highly recommend watching the Dr. Jack Newman videos on latching prior to going in the hospital and then watching them again when you get home. I had a terrible time starting but everyone said, if you can make it to the 6 week mark you'll be fine. They were right. My son is now 8mo and is thriving. My supply is great, we've never had anymore problems. You coming here and getting support before you even have your child is one of the best things you could have done. I so wish I had done that. Be confident mama, you are going to be FINE!!!! Plus you can always come here and ask for help along the way just like the rest of us did. Keep us posted on the arrival of the new LO!! Congrats!!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: I'm scared

    Being a new mom is overwhelming, I felt the same way as you, but now my baby is almost a year and still nursing happily!! The first 6 weeks are really tough, you will be probably be sore, but just keep at it. Breastfeeding felt strange and my son had a little bit of a hard time latching on for the first couple of weeks. After that it gets so much easier and becomes second nature. It definitetly helps to have some support and LLL is a great place just to see mother's nursing successfully and easily without feeling uncomfortable. Have you read the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding? If not, try to get a copy. It helps to have some knowledge of what to expect before you are actually doing it. GOOD LUCK!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    1,565

    Default Re: I'm scared

    Hi there- good for you for reaching out here. The last few days before you're a new mom are very anxiety-producing. I was very nervous as well, about everything. Including breastfeeding. Its normal. Being nervous shows that you want to do a good job!

    Do you have a LLL group nearby? Could you get in touch with a leader now, or shortly after the birth? If you do have a group, you will be able to get help if a problem arises and this would really help. Or you can come post on this board, all of us here will try to help you. Having the right resources really will help you get through the problems and have a successful breastfeeding experience! That and determination. It really can be done!

    Your comment about being scared you won't be able to give your baby the best bonding and loving experience shows that you are a caring mother who wants to do her best. That is wonderful. Your nervousness is normal, and as long as you do your best, your baby will love you for that. Try to relieve your fears some by getting in touch with a local LLL if you can, or these boards, and other good breastfeeding sites- another good one is www.drjacknewman.com and has many solutions to common problems/misconceptions etc.

    You're not alone in feeling fearful. I was that way, and still am sometimes when there is something new with my DD (she's almost one year old). I found that getting support helps the most with fear. Keep reaching out and finding answers and you'll do great.

    Best wishes to you and the little one.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    182

    Default Re: I'm scared

    Quote Originally Posted by AJsmommy View Post
    I had a terrible time starting but everyone said, if you can make it to the 6 week mark you'll be fine. They were right. My son is now 8mo and is thriving. My supply is great, we've never had anymore problems. You coming here and getting support before you even have your child is one of the best things you could have done. I so wish I had done that. Be confident mama, you are going to be FINE!!!! Plus you can always come here and ask for help along the way just like the rest of us did. Keep us posted on the arrival of the new LO!! Congrats!!
    I agree. The first 6 weeks is the toughest part. After that breastfeeding is easier. You're giving your child the greatest gift you can ever give, so keep that in mind. This forum has been a Godsend. You can find so much support and have all kinds of questions answered. Be confident and stay strong. Congrats on your little one and good luck.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    32

    Default Re: I'm scared

    I was scared before I had my DS also. Scared because I am an only child and never took care of a baby. Scared because I didn't know what my birth experience would be like. Scared because I wanted to BF SO badly but like you, was nervous that I would have problems and wouldn't be able to. Like a few moms already mentioned, you have taken the first step in alleviating your fears by posting here on the LLL website. LLL was a GREAT help to me in the first few months of my DS's life, I would highly recommend getting in contact with your local leader.

    You CAN and WILL be able to BF. There is a learning curve for both mom and baby sometimes, but once you both get the hang of it, you're home free!

    Good luck and keep us posted on your progress.


  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    4,029

    Default Re: I'm scared

    Here's my advice:

    1. Take the time to get as educated as you can before baby arrives. I know, not much time left, but do the best you can.
    2. Find out who your local LLL leader is. You probably don't have the time to go to a meeting now, but at least knowing the phone number of who to call will be essential if you have problems. If she cannot help you, she will have contact info for a IBCLC-certified lactation consultant that can give you more specialized help.
    3. Ask for help in the hospital from a lactation consultant about latch, etc. Ask her to help you latch your newborn the first time, too. If you have a good latch, you're likely to have fewer problems and be less sore (although you'll likely still be sore.)
    4. When you are in the hospital and once you get home, plan on breastfeeding as your first priority. You will be feeding anywhere from 8-12 times in a 24 period of time. It's exhausting, especially since you'll be recovering from birth, but concentrate only on the bare essentials.
    5. If you can, avoid any formula supplementation. It's such a slippery slope. There are valid reasons to supplement, for sure, but there are also lots of ways AROUND supplementing without negative affects on your baby (or you).

    Your local LLL group (or here) is a great resource to at least surround yourself with people who have successfully breastfed. Not that we've all done it without problems, but have done it. Seek support when you need it. You'll be glad you did!

    Lisa

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    159

    Default Re: I'm scared

    These ladies have given you excellant advice and I really don't have anything to add. But I wanted to tell you this...

    Breast feeding has been the single most wonderful experience of my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything!!!!

    If you have problems, seek help, If you have questions, ask. But don't give up this experience out of fear alone. The memories of breast feeding will last a lifetime and the benifits to you baby will too!

    Best of luck!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    69

    Default Re: I'm scared

    Everything that I would have told you is already posted here, so I won't repeat it... but I will tell you this, my single biggest fear was that I wouldn't be able to BF my baby. The one thing that I do great now that my LO is here, is BF him. I demanded help from the nurses at the hospital and made sure that the lactation consultant came to my room the day after my LO was born to make sure I was doing everything properly. I held my baby in my arms for almost the entire 48 hours I was in the hospital, I slept with him in my arms, which is great because he was right next to my breast and I BF him every chance I got. I have had some rocky times, but 7 weeks into this wonderful ride of motherhood and I can tell you it is worth every tear, every sleepless moment and all the pain. You can do this, I did and I was once you. Good Luck and a big hug from me.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    1,512

    Default Re: I'm scared

    I can't agree more with the PP. Being a new mom is soooo overwhelming. My LO is not 4 months and 3 days - we had a very rough start (she did not nurse until 3 weeks old but I tried every feeding until she did). Now she is doing great (nursing right now)!!!! Just like the PP said, the first 6 weeks are really tough - but just keep at it.

    The Moms on these boards helped me so much and they can help you too!!

    GOOD LUCK and remember you are (will be) doing it the best you can and it does get easier!!!
    Samantha: born 3 1/2 weeks early on Sept 2006 6lbs 4 oz 18 inches long with situs inversus totalis. Now a strong healthy little girl that wants to be a NICU doctor, loves her little sister and breastfeeds her dolls!
    Milk donated with while nursing first LO: 2,200 oz
    Alexandra: born 3 weeks early on July 2010 7lbs 8 oz 19.5 inches long.
    Milk donated with while nursing first LO: 1,200


    For information on becoming a Breastmilk Donor http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk

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