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Thread: baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

  1. #1
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    Oct 2006
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    Default baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

    I really like everything I've heard about the baby lead approach to solids and plan to take this approach with our LO who just turned 6 mo old. I think my DH is on board, but he also wants to offer rice cereal as part of food options which I'm ok with (we got some organic brown rice cereal).

    Last weekend we offered LO some avocado which he very eagerly grabbed and did manage to get in his mouth. When it came to swallowing he wasn't ready and did a great job gagging the avocado out and then also ended up spitting up. All of this was totally OK with me.

    We posted pictures and a little video on our LO's website of the first food attempt (including showing the gag & spitup). Most people were very supportive.

    BUT - my DH said that his mom (my MIL) commented after seeing the pictures basically "of course he threw up - you should have been feeding him rice cereal and doing avocado was crazy." And I've also gotten a few sort of rude comments from friends who are moms.

    That was long - but it would be a help to get ideas about how to deal with these sorts of criticisms and comments (besides the usual just ignoring them )

    Thanks!
    Lynn
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  2. #2
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    Default Re: baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

    well there are no magic words I have to offer - sorry

    But ignoring is the best option. Tell them very little and respond even less. KWIM? we're doing the same with baby led and dealing with crap too. Its a long process but when people aren't living with you - who cares what they think. MILs are the worst generally, to deal with, but our saving grace was that DS is so allergic to stuff. I use that to our (and his)advantage.
    HTH

    I may be back to add more if I think of something good

    ETA #1
    FWIW I wouldn;t neccisarily say somments like what your MIL made are rude... just uninformed. KWIM? does she know what you're doing? even if she does it doesn't mean she'll get it. but I always consider rude is when a comment is mean with the sole purpose of being mean.

    ETA #2
    Since MIL said it to DH, no need to worry for you, right?
    Last edited by Number3; January 31st, 2007 at 01:26 PM.
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

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  3. #3
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    Default Re: baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

    Gosh,
    I never had anyone say anything critical! I think it's because of how assertive I am about the way we chose to feed and because anyone who's around us at meal times sees how I'm NOT nervous and I just am really in charge of what he eats. I take snack when we go places and I always bring his booster and cut up what I want offer to him when we eat at other people's homes. It's hard to argue when you see it in action. Also when he has gagged or puked, most often people look to me and my reaction. Since I don't freak out neither do they. I have had other mothers "question" it...but that's because I think evryone with a lo who isn't familiar with it would be concerned about choking. It's a natural thing to be worried about as a mother. But when we explain the research-hand to mouth motor skills matching and such....most people (who take the time to actually think about it) agree that it makes sense.

    Just be very confident when you talk about it and continue to practice so that when faced with doubts or questions you can speak to personal results!
    Good luck!

    Way too lazy for formula

  4. #4
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    Default Re: baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

    how about my doctor said to start with avacado?
    that works with some mil's...
    with mine I remeber saying "I do things the way that I do them"
    and that was the end of it.
    I'm sure the rest of the family heard about it. But that was her problem and not mine.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

    Hi,

    My lo is 7 months old. When he was 5.5 months I told my family about baby-led and they were very supportive. My husband's family were skeptical. My lo's godmother (sister in law) even told me I was choosing to bring up a child who is never going to have table manners if he starts to approach food like this.
    Fortunately, my in-laws are abroad and I'm hoping that by the next time I see them my lo willshow off his new skills
    so, there will always be people "against" child-led I guess and it can be very frustrating.
    My lo is eating a few things in "the child-led way" and also spits up, gags, etc. It's a learning process and it can't be learned by eating purees. Spitting up and gagging are reflexes that our lo's have developped to be able to cope with eating, at least that's how I see it.
    I think people may criticize the mess as well but this is how they learn, they are not being mean or badly-behaved, they just can't grab things properly and only by doing it over and over again will they get it.
    I was hopeless on my first attempt to use chopsticks!
    I'm sure there will be people on the board with more experience than me but this is what I think and I'm sure I'm still going to be criticized.
    I wish you good luck and well done for going child-led. You sound braver than me, I panicked in the beginning and still panick, about the choking.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ's Mom View Post
    But when we explain the research-hand to mouth motor skills matching and such....most people (who take the time to actually think about it) agree that it makes sense.
    I have had an opportunity to talk at length with my parents who think the baby led approach makes alot of sense and respect the decisions we're making as parents.

    Probably more of a MIL problem - we do get along well but haven't yet talked about solids. And I think MIL was a little miffed at me because we didn't do first solids when they were visting when LO was 5 mo 1 week old. For that at least, DH did a great job standing up to his mom and saying no (nicely).
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    Default Re: baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

    I think that people are just uninformed about baby-led. People just recommend rice cereal because that's what they did as parents and what their parents may have done. Just the other day, I was telling my sister that we're not doing purees. (I was like, oh gosh, in her eyes this must just be another weird parenting thing we've chosen to do, as if cd-ing, ec-ing, bfing and co-sleeping aren't enough), but really she was just curious. My MIL asks DH all the time, is that normal? He finally just told her that whatever thing was in question was a deliberate and informed parenting decision on our part. This is who we are as parents.

    IMO baby-led is an appropriately baby-centered approach that will help foster a love of delicious, whole, healthful foods.

    After success with avocado, I offered lo some home-made quinoa cereal (what I ate for breakfast w/o the trailmix of course), he took the spoon out of my hand and brought it to his mouth. I couldn't believe it! Of course, there wasn't much on the spoon once it got to his mouth, but the whole idea is the learning how.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

    " Is that normal?" I love that question...

    Normal based on whos parameters? Have him ask her that next time
    Click here to find an LLL leader near you...or call 1 877 4 LA LECHE for help now.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
    Emerson


    Ban the bags. ......... Watch your language. ....... Help keep Dr Newman's clinic open!

    We demand that our childcare providers are CPR certified... why don't we demand the same of ourselves! Get certified!

    I lost 22 lbs in 8 months... with a bit of determination and common sense information from this book.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    8,591

    Default Re: baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

    I always replied back with, "Rice cereal has essentially no nutrients. Avocados are loaded with them, and high in good fats." Period. I left it at that. He probably would have gagged and spit up with rice cereal too...its not the food or the flavor or anything like that...its something new in their mouths.

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
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    Born by one c-section and 2 amazing VBACs


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  10. #10
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    Default Re: baby led solids - dealing with criticism?

    My baby only eats cereal and gerber because she won't take the bottle but I nurse her when I get home from work. Grandma says she should eat alot since she is not getting any milk. Is that true?

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