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Thread: Help!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    14

    Unhappy Help!

    I've been having problems from day one and have waited too long to get help. DD is 3 months and breastfeeds just fine, but I'm going crazy. I still haven't figured out how to get anything done around the house. I've tried different carriers so I can do my chores, but she usually only last about 10 minutes. During the day, if she naps, she wakes up if I put her down. Sometimes I can sit her down to watch a baby Einstein video but I feel bad for doing it. She screams if anyone holds her besides me which rules out having Dad take care of her while I do chores. I'm losing my mind. I love my little girl, but I can't keep myself sane. And this is just the beginning of the problems. What do I do

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Help!

    Hang in there, dear! Is this your first child? I am a mother of three now, but I remember how distraught I felt with my first. I'm the kind of person who wants everything *just so*, my house, my children, my entire life! But my daughter made me change my routine. If you're fretting over your chores, please don't expect to have everything done at the same time. Just clean up as you have time. I stash paper towels and Windex in all the bathrooms and in the kitchen, and when something looks messy to me, I wipe it up. No, not everything is perfect all at once like in my life before kids, but I do keep things clean to my standards AND I don't stress out that I because I can always accomplish something.

    Now, if the real issue is that you are feeling overwhelmed, please DO NOT hesitate taking time for yourself. You are a mother, and you do need to care and comfort your little one, but you can't do a good job of that if you don't have time to care for yourself. For me, (in the winter especially when we're stuck in the house) it's knitting. If I need some downtime, I set the older kids loose at the kitchen table with crafts, set my youngest in the swing next to us, then pick up some knitting. It helps me relax and get my bearings during the day. Please remember, too, that this time while your child is new passes quickly. You are not going to feel like this forever!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    47

    Default Re: Help!

    Oh my gosh! I so know exactley how you feel, my dd is now 6 months and trust me things do get easier. I was in the same boat as you are in 3 months ago. I absolutely could not get anything done. I felt worthless. I couldn't imagine that all babies were this needy. My daughter would only sleep if I stayed in bed with her - if I got up she woke up, and my dd wouldn't let anyone else hold her either. She still doesn't except Dad, now. This is what makes it easier now - TOYS!! She can sit up and she loves to play with her toys, I can leave her for 15min - to a half hour at a time! It doesnt' sound like a lot but it really is when compared to the time away I was having.

    Just know that your time with her and away from the chores truely is WORTH it! Your baby needs you more than your house does. Let's put first things first! And things do let up eventually, I bet in a month or two you'll start seeing her entertain herself. Just hang in there, you're doing the right thing, she truely does need you and don't ever think for a minute you are spoiling her. Giving her the security that you are there whenever she needs you sets the solid foundation for a truely independent self-confident person. So pouring your life into her is worth every bit of the sacrifice you are giving!!

    Good luck, and I think you'll do great! And again; it does let up.

    Alissa
    wife to Ted
    mother of Kaylee - 6 months

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    329

    Default Re: Help!

    "SETTLE DOWN COBWEBS, DUST GO TO SLEEP, I'M ROCKING MY BABY AND BABIES DON'T KEEP".

    I chanted this ditty to myself every day for four months from a pink flowered arm chair in our living room. My dd (now nearly 8 months) would scream when she was out of my arms--even with daddy. She would only nap in my arms too. NOTHING got done. It drove me nuts because I am such a control freak. I like everything "just so" too. Just let the pre-baby habits go.. it won't be easy at first. Don't worry--you'll develop a whole new routine eventually.

    I so promise you this will pass and looking back it won't be such a big deal. It is incredably frustrating when you are going through it...many a day I cried I was so unhappy with my "new mommy" situation. Just remember every time you respond to your baby or hold her you teach her to trust. And it will pay off. I am always getting compliments about how happy and social my baby is. I think it is because of all those months I held her, and rocked her, and nursed her. And let those cobwebs settle and dust sleep.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    45

    Default Re: Help!

    Oh my gosh, I am having the same exact problem, even worse I have two others taht are desperate attention getters and I am planning on returning to work. Sad to say I have started weaning her. But I am having some trouble and I feel to guilty about it. But yet if I don't wean her nothing will get done and I won't be able to return to work like this. I can't spend to much time even applying for job beause she won't take a bottle, I have to breast feed her. So no more breast for her. And the sad thing, I haven't had one problem getting her to breastfeed. Please any comfort for the decision I have made would be great. Oh did I mention that she is also teething and keeps nibbling on me every time she feeds. Not a good feeling. Please feel free to read my other forums and send emails to me.!!


    Thanks
    Mommy to Anna three months ,
    Jayden 3 years
    and Briana 7 years

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    317

    Default Re: Help!

    My dd was the same way and my ds acts like an attention deprived little maniac when I am totaly occupied with dd, plus I am a single mom who works full time so I have no one to help me handle either of the two, sometimes I go days (5 is the record) without even getting a shower because by the time I get dinner cooked & toddler fed, one of the kids bathed (they alternate days) dishes washed & laundry switched over/folded I am so tired that I fall asleep nursing. A nipple shield may help the bitting, you can also unlatch when she bites, she won't like that and eventually will stop biting (in theory). What kind of bottles have you tried? Experiment, experiment, experiment...One Step Ahead even makes a breast shaped bottle (the entire thing is soft and really looks like a breast). Have you considered pumping when you return to work? The Ameda Pureply Yours is a wonderful dual electric pump but it isn't nearly as expensive as Medela (although the quality is equal, I have use both). Sometimes you have to make hard decisions to keep your sanity (which is a very important thing to have). Just know that you are her mommy and you love her and that just because you don't continue to BF doesn't make you any less of a mom. She won't hold it against you and you shouldn't hold it against yourself.
    Amanda Mom to James (2/25/04) and nursling Alice (8/24/05)

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Help!

    Oh so good to hear I'm not alone. My DD is 2 months and I was seriously wondering if it was normal for her to need to be held ALL the time! I'm holding her right now. At least with DD, most of the time she doesn't mind being held by people other than me. So when DH or the grandparents are around I get a lil break.

    But this week has been killer. DH is out of town on business for the first time since DD was born and wont be back til sunday. DD has a slight case of stomach flu so I'm feeding her almost every hour. I'm in charge of the finances and bills are due. My boss has been calling cause I'm supposed to return to work in 4 weeks and he wants my schedule of availibility, but I haven't figured out who's gonna be watching her. I haven't taken a shower in 3days and wouldnt even have clean clothes to wear if I could squeeze one in. The house looks like a tornado hit it. I'm surprised I havent fallen apart and am still able to smile and laugh at DD

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    45

    Post Re: Help!

    Thanks for the advice, I will look for that bottle. I have never heard of that kind before. I feel ba little better about weaning her. I have tried unlatching her when she nibbles but she looks at me like she doesn't know what she did so I feel bad for doing that. Today I went to a job fair, my husband took me and we left dd with her granny for the first time, she cried and cried, so when I got back I went straight for her and she looked at me like what is wrong with you why did you leave me? Also today was the first time that she was with anyone but me and her dad and the first time her dad fed her. But I took her to the doctor and she has acid reflux so they recommended enfamil lipil with iron formula and 1 tsp. per every 2 ounces of milk to thicken it up for her. She has only been breastfed twice today, but I breastfeed her at night so she still get it. But that way I don't have to worry about pumping during the day. I have the Purely Yours Breat Pump, it is great, I just don't have the time to pump cause I am always holding her or feeding her. So since I have been weaning her she has fallen to sleep and I actually get some things done around the house and I can actually have her dad hold her long enough for me to type this and check my email. Thanks for all the advice and for people experiencing the same thing as I am feel free to talk about it with me and let me know how things are coming with you all. We can sort of share different things that we have found to work I guess.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    31

    Default Re: Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Maya's Mom
    "SETTLE DOWN COBWEBS, DUST GO TO SLEEP, I'M ROCKING MY BABY AND BABIES DON'T KEEP".
    Just remember every time you respond to your baby or hold her you teach her to trust. And it will pay off. I am always getting compliments about how happy and social my baby is. I think it is because of all those months I held her, and rocked her, and nursed her. And let those cobwebs settle and dust sleep.
    This sounds very familiar to me too, when my daughter was small. I think my daughter was sent to teach me a lesson - and to teach me about life.
    She's now 6-1/2 years. She's a lovely girl. I can assure you she's confident, independent (but still needs her Mom), social, intelligent and I don't have to rock her to sleep.

    It might also be worth having a look at some other possible causes just to rule them out - dairy intolerance (dairy going through mothers milk) can cause this type of behaviour in some babies. Also, over supply and also under supply. Also teething, ear infection, pin worms, etc. etc. etc.

    Beth B.
    Mom of 2

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    14

    Default Re: Help!

    Thanks so much for all of the response. I'm still a little crazy but it helps to know that I'm not alone. That quote about the cobwebs made me cry.

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