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Thread: Getting nervous and would like some advice.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    252

    Default Getting nervous and would like some advice.

    Hi, I am due in 6 weeks (though I doubt Ill make it that long). I have been browsing the site and have noticed a few things and was wondering if some of you expierenced mommys would like to give some advice. I saw that you can (should?) refuse to have the baby get procedures done that are not nessecary right away (ie the eye drops) and have them done at a later time. What procedures would this include? I also saw something on the "magic hours". Something about the first two hours and the bfing relationship. I would like all the advice and knowledge you could give me because at my daughters birth I felt totally pressured by the staff and our bfing relationship was minimal at best. I should tell you that I am going to a different hospital and now have a doctor who is pro bfing. I dont want that to happen this time round. Last time they took my daughter away from me to do everything and I didnt like it one bit. I even asked the nurse if I could come for the babys first bath, and she said no because she was busy and didnt have time to show me how. (luckly I had my mother, who is a nicu nurse and used to be L&D, to tell her that it was her responsibility to show me how to do it). I am a pushover and would like to know what I can do so that I make it very clear from the beginning without being rude what I want for me and my baby.
    Im sure you can tell Im in the starting to get nervous state.I just want to be prepared this time round.
    Thank you so much in advance for understanding and your words of advice and support.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    4,029

    Default Re: Getting nervous and would like some advice.

    Certainly, you have the right to do whatever you choose. Realize that you're the parent, and YOU have rights, too. At the very least, when one of the staff is insistent upon doing a procedure, or taking your baby from your room (or from you), you have the right to get a decent explanation. All you have to do is play dumb...."And you need to take him/her why? And how does that help?" Just asking simple questions might help. You can certainly delay some of their interventions for a bit. An hour here or there isn't going to break the bank. Most nurses will be accommodating.

    When I had my kids, they stayed with me for a while until I had a chance to feed them for the first time. I didn't feed any of my kids in the first 5 minutes or anything, but still certainly within the first hour. I'm sure they still had the Vit K shot and the eye drops/ointment beforehand, but it was all done in the room with me. That was OK with me. The first bath didn't happen for several hours after they were born, when I was ready for a nap anyway.

    Don't feel bad about standing up for your rights and your baby's rights. No one is going to look out for you and your baby like you will.

    Lisa

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    869

    Default Re: Getting nervous and would like some advice.

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzy View Post
    The ointment that is put in a newborns eyes prevent blindness assoc with medical problems the mother may have. I wouldn't risk relaying this ointment for any reason.

    The ointment is to prevent blindness caused by STDs that are also checked via vaginal swap during pregnancy. I didn't have them done at all for my ds.

    ETA: the only thing I let them do to my ds was a bath, hearing test, PKU test, and vitamin K shot.
    Last edited by jentut; January 29th, 2007 at 03:41 PM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    159

    Default Re: Getting nervous and would like some advice.

    I breast fed my tot when they first handed her to me. I am so glad I made that decision!!!!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    176

    Default Re: Getting nervous and would like some advice.

    Congrats mommy! and relax. remember that things can happen differently from what we plan them. Try to go with the flow. If this is a natural birth, you will get plenty of time to talk to your nurses and make them aware of the birth plan. You might wnat to write things down and discuss this birth plan in your next ob visit. Remain calm....
    If this is a scheduled C-section, you will not get the chance to nurse right away. Have your OB explain the hospital procedures. Have you picked your pediatrician yet? If so, call her/him up to ask what are the esentials for baby procedures. Some of them are the APGAR, eye balm ointments, etc. If you haven't picked a pedi, please do so now. Meet with Him and make sure they serve the hospital you will be delivering. Make sure that your pedi prescribe the HEP B vaccine at the hospital. This will save you one trip to the office. Hearing test are also specified and required by the state.
    Make sure that you include your medical team in your plan. Ask for a tour of the facility where you will be giving birth. They usually set up an appointment for you to go prior to having the baby; at that time ask to meet their lactation consultant. Explain to her your concerns and desires.
    Please refrain from been anxious... sometimes, the plan we work is not the one we need to follow, so go on with the flow, as long as you feel comfortable.
    Best of luck to you

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: Getting nervous and would like some advice.

    uggg you cann't wash your own baby thats a new one....
    if they want to take your baby out of your room send your hubby with baby.
    that's what we planned. When i had to have a c-section it was nice to know that my hubby was with baby. And he knew to keep the bottles away from her.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Getting nervous and would like some advice.

    I opted out of ALL newborn things that are typically done (no eye drops, no vitamin K injection, no circumcision, no bath etc); I had a lot of flexibility, delivering in a birth center with a midwife, but as I understand it, you have the right to not have any or all procedures done depending on your state. Do your research, decide what you want and don't want done, and write it all down. Distribute copies of your plan so that if you are under general anesthesia for an emergency c-section (worst case scenario) the people know what your wishes are regarding your baby's care, since you wouldn't be able to tell them. Even if everything goes as you hope, then you are assured of getting the care you want. If you don't want the baby taken from your sight, don't let them take the baby. If something happens to one of you and the baby does have to be taken elsewhere, make sure someone is with you to go with the baby. I told DH that if an emergency happened and it came down to staying with me or going with the baby, he was to go with the baby and I'd take care of myself.

    BTW, if you opt out of the in-hospital stuff, it can be done later. And the PKU test has to be done after 24 hours of feeding anyway. A hearing test can be done later; in most states, it just has to be done before the baby is 30 days old. Those are the only two things we have done to our kids, other than a blood glucose (cause I have huge babies and it's required then).

    Try to not stress
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Getting nervous and would like some advice.

    If the mother does her research and decides, with thought and self-examination, to have or not have a procedure, there is nothing wrong with that, nor is it self-indulgent. It means the mother is taking her first step of parenthood -- deciding what is and what is not right for her family.

    Each mother is the expert on her family and can choose to accept or ignore advice.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    882

    Default Re: Getting nervous and would like some advice.

    Well, I did all of my research before I opted to not have the drops in either of my kids (they're fine...didn't go blind).

    I also read a nice little study that proved that the vitamin K shot can cause life threatening blood clots in newborns who receive it. Nice, huh? The reason newborns aren't born with the vitamin K is because they do not need it and their bodies will make it naturally later in life. I love how the doctors/nurses make this known (which they don't...they make it sound like if you don't get this shot for your child, you'll risk killing them).

    Pardon my bluntness, but I don't trust very much the medical community tells me without some good, hard facts to back it up. To date, they haven't been very successful in doing that.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Getting nervous and would like some advice.

    I did a TON of research on the typical newborn procedures after baby #1 -- with him, I didn't even know I could have a choice until he was born and the midwife asked me! -- and I could not find a shred of evidence that those procedures should be done on my child. The risk factors are very low, for example, for gonorrhea and chlamydia infections for my child, since I don't have either STD, am not at risk of contracting such infections, and so I felt comfortable not having eye medication. I could not find any evidence that vitamin K is necessary, although I did plan that if for some reason we had to use means of delivery that could cause bleeding, I would allow a vitamin K injection.

    That might not be something someone else feels comfortable with. What we each choose to have done with our babies are very personal decisions and are to be respected. I know, for me, a lot of thought went into those decisions.

    IMHO, there are a LOT of procedures done just because "they always are" that don't have to be. I'm a veterinarian, I see this a lot in my profession, and I KNOW it exists in the human side of medicine too I prefer clients who question my decisions. . . Keeps me honest and keeps them happier.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

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