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Thread: Nice way to discourage visitors in hospital?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    66

    Default Nice way to discourage visitors in hospital?

    With the birth of my daughter, we were literally swarmed with loving family wanting to see the baby. Now that I'm reading up on how to establish breastfeeding, I realize that all the interuptions really took a toll on our breastfeeding relationship. This time around, I want to have peace & quiet & no visitors so I can devote all my energy to breastfeeding.

    Can you share your experiences & ideas for nicely telling family that they can meet the baby later?

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    8,272

    Default Re: Nice way to discourage visitors in hospital?

    Set visiting hours and then ask a friend / family member and/or the nurses to help reinforce them. I'm pretty sure at all hospitals you are in control of whether or not you want visitors and phone calls. For us - my sister served as the family point of contact. I let her know what was going on and when we were ready for visitors. I don't know how she did it, but she did a great job of helping control the flow of visitors and everyone was great about calling to see if it was ok to visit and not just dropping in. Since our family is spread out the phone calls were actually more disruptive. My husband handled phone calls and when we really needed some quiet time he turned off the ringer on his cell phone.
    Lynn
    DS1: bf 7/2006 -> 4/2009; multiple food allergies
    DS2: bf 9/2009 -> ???
    ; multiple food allergies
    Breastmilk Donor - http://hmbana.org/index/donatemilk
    Click HERE to learn about baby led solids (BLS) / baby led weaning (BLW)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    4,029

    Default Re: Nice way to discourage visitors in hospital?

    Just be honest and tell people in advance about your wishes. You don't have to feel guilty about wanting people to wait until after you're home. Just explain how it was so overwhelming the first time, that it interfered with your sleep/recovery while at the hospital, as well as establishing breastfeeding. Anyone that doesn't understand or is offended isn't thinking clearly, or is being selfish.

    Another option would be to designate a time they CAN come to visit in the hospital. You could tell them they can visit, but only between the hours of blank and blank. That way, you have the rest of the time to bond as a family, get breastfeeding started, and rest.

    Also, your hospital staff can help you carry out your wishes too. You can respectfully ask for no visitors except for the few that you select.

    HTH

    Lisa

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    10,440

    Default Re: Nice way to discourage visitors in hospital?

    I found that people just didn't make as big a deal about seeing the new baby right away the second time around. We didn't have nearly the influx of visitors and phone calls with Colton as we did after Ian's birth.

    I'd say limit your visitors both in hospital and at home for the first few weeks by having all visitors talk to your DH. He can shut the ringer off on the phone, change the message on the answering machine to give some basic stats on the baby, and control the flow of people in and out of your room and home. We dealt with people who didn't call ahead by putting a sign on the door "Mom and Baby sleeping -- call ahead" and not answering the door.

    Then when people did come by, I made sure I was in a robe (even if it was over some clothes) so that people got the impression I wasn't up for long visits. And then if the baby needed to eat, I simply told them. Most people got the hint and left at that point.

    Good luck!
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    New Orleans, LA
    Posts
    5,036

    Default Re: Nice way to discourage visitors in hospital?

    The hospital actually provided us with a sign to hang on the outside of our door, which read "Please do not disturb Mommy who is learning to breastfeed baby...but do sign below to let her know you stopped by."

    I thought that was great. It wasn't the most convenient thing for the surprise visitors, but it certainly helped us.

    This time around, I don't even want to tell anyone I'm delivering until after I'm back home. It's just not a time to be entertaining!! It's so exhausting to try and hold a conversation when you just want to rest when baby is resting or focus on your nursing or your shower or whatever activity you barely have energy for.
    Mother - Wife - Artist - Cook - Writer - EnvironMENTAList - Cloth Diaperer (but we are soooo done with diapers) - Organic Health Nut...I'm sure there's more.

    DD1 - 12/15/05 Breastfed for 16.5 months
    DD2 - 8/6/07 Breastfed for 3 whole years and 3 little, extra days.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    953

    Default Re: Nice way to discourage visitors in hospital?

    Don't tell people where you are (or, when you go in to labor) and request that the hospital not release any info about you. If they can't find you, they can't bother you. I didn't want to see anyone after dd's birth, and we had NO visitors.

    mamacat

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    214

    Default Re: Nice way to discourage visitors in hospital?

    We didn't tell anyone until after the birth of our son and even then, we only informed our parents. We informed friends and other people days later. In hindsight, it was a very good decision. I delivered vaginally and felt miserable. I was glad I didn't have to entertain visitors. I had all the time I needed to work on breastfeeding. I nursed frequently and my milk came in the second day as I was leaving the hospital. I'm a first timer and not comfortable nursing in the presence of others. Again, it was key for me to be able to have time alone with my husband and newborn.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    627

    Default Re: Nice way to discourage visitors in hospital?

    We put a sign on the door that said "do not disturb. we are sleeping." We found that people would interrupt us for everything else...but they weren't going to wake us up if we were sleeping.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    66

    Default Re: Nice way to discourage visitors in hospital?

    Thanks, ladies!

    I think I'm just going to fly under the radar & not let anyone know until a couple of days after the birth--that sounds like heaven!

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