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Thread: mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

  1. #1
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    Unhappy mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

    so i'm officially mix feeding and i guess i have been since the beginning.
    as some of you know already, i had to supplement the first few weeks.
    i always offer the breast first but sometimes(like tonight) dd will eat off and on for 2 hours and still seem hungry. i've been dealing with milk production issues before but tonight after all that nursing she still drank close to 4 oz. of formula.
    i know it sounds crazy but giving her any formula makes me feel like a failure!
    has anyone else had experience with mix feeding? any recommendations or encouraging words?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

    I'm sorry you are fealing so bad!
    if it realy bothers you, you could try and boost your supply, and limit the bottles.
    how old is your baby again?
    growth spurts can cause them to realy want to nurse and just because she took 4 oz of fomula doesn't mean that she needed it.
    Babies like to suck and the bottle is easy to drink.
    you know all this.
    do you have a lll leader that could give you some real life support?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

    Being a mom of 2 formula fed babies, to me, it isn't a failure.

    Some people just cannot produce and just aren't ment to breast feed. It isn't your failure. It isn't anyone's failure.

    Just the fact you are at least supplementing with what you can, shows you care a lot. Whatever you can give is better than nothing. And the formula won't hurt your baby at all.

    Be grateful you live in an age of the ability to supplement with formula. In the past, your baby would starve to death or you would have to find a wet nurse to help you. (sorry...best example I heard when I was in the hospital from one nurse to someone who was just frantic about not being able to breastfeed).


    I'm sorry if I cannot help much more in supporting you, as I do not understand the "failure" concept. Yes I"m sort-of breast feeding my 3rd kid, but still, do not understand the passion some of you guys feel and have about it.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

    Heatherama ~ I'm not familiar with your situation -- would it be possible for you to point us to your post(s) where you explained exactly what is happening? I will try to find them myself but it may be difficult for me to do that, so if you could help us out, that would be great

    It can be difficult for a woman who desperately wants to breastfeed to be unable to for one reason or another. Let's take a look at your specific situation and see if we can't help you eliminate the formula, okay? Hang in there -- the most important thing is that your baby be fed. What is so spectacular about you though, is that you are continuing to provide breastmilk, if not entirely.

  5. #5
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    LLLJacqui is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Default Re: mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

    It's true that some ppl just don't produce milk... but for others, the problem IS the formula... they've had it pushed on them from the beginning by health care providers who told them that they weren't producing enough milk, when in fact they were... and so then using the formula becomes the self-fulfilling prophecy of actually making the supply decrease because the baby isn't nursing enough to make the body produce more milk...

    I'm very sorry, Heather, that this is so hard on you... I do know two moms who do not have a gland that tells the others to produce milk, so for them, there was a true grieving process. They wanted to give their baby the best and had to settle for formula and it about killed them emotionally at times... they got through it and they are excellent mothers who nurture their children in all other ways and are perfectly attached. So, yes, for those who have to settle for formula, there is a future beyond it.

    It's really hard when you know something is better for your kiddos and you can't seem to give it to them when you desperately want to... regardless of what that is... and especially when it's breastmilk because you feel like your body isn't doing what it is supposed to do... Grief is okay and perfectly normal.

    However, if you can get in touch with a LLL leader or a lactation consultant (maybe one from the hospital where you delivered?), there might be ways to increase your supply and get rid of the formula entirely. I really hope that there is a way to work through this for you.

    Jacqui

  6. #6
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    Default Re: mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

    It gets better. Hang in there!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

    The lactation consultant had told her non-alcoholic beer will help increase supply
    FYI....Non-alcoholic beer STILL has a level of alcohol.

    My uncle, who was a recovering alcoholic, got busted after he drank one and went back to his program house. He was SHOCKED and they still kicked him out for "drinking" though he truely did not know this.



    No, probably the amount of alcohol in it isn't enough to seep into the breast milk, but those that have a very low tolerance, may want to be advised of that fact.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

    On the note of breastfeeding & alcohol -- alcohol is a drug that is considered to be compatible with breastfeeding by the AAP. It is listed as a LRC L3 (moderately safe). Dr. Hale says, "Significant amounts of alcohol are secreted into breastmilk although it is not considered harmful to the infant if the amount and duration are limited. The absolute amount of alcohol transferred into milk is generally low....Adult metabolism of alcohol is approximately 1 oz in 3 hours, so mothers who ingest alcohol in moderate amounts can generally return to breastfeeding as soon as they feel neurologically normal."

    And Dr. Jack Newman says, "Reasonable alcohol intake should not be discouraged at all. As is the case with most drugs, very little alcohol comes out in the milk. The mother can take some alcohol and continue breastfeeding as she normally does. Prohibiting alcohol is another way we make life unnecessarily restrictive for nursing mothers."

    Dr. Jack Newman has some very interesting and informative information on alcohol in his book, "The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers", page 261. You can see an excerpt of this information here -- http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0761...aXp7T0m1GAk%3D

    1 or 2 beers is probably considered modest to moderate, depending on how you feel. Any alcohol in your milk will dissipate over time, just as it does in your bloodstream. It does not accumulate in your milk (so there is no need to "pump and dump").

  9. #9
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    Default Re: mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

    thanks for your support everyone and for your advice!
    just a bit of background for those who were wondering:
    i delivered dd 2 weeks early via c-section and it took about 5 days for my milk to come in. i struggled from the beginning with getting her to latch and it took me plus my husband and a nurse to get her to latch in the hospital and even when she did she would sleep unless in constantly stimulated her. i am certain they gave her a bottle while i was in recovery, as well and the first time they brought her to me they had given her a pacifier!
    when she came home with us she had lost a little more birth weight than 'normal' and was slow to regain. the first two weeks she gained only 4 oz and then the third week she gained a wopping 12 1/2 oz.! her ped had me start supplementing when we took her home. i started waking her every 2 hrs to breastfeed and would only offer her formula after nursing. after the big weight gain i felt bad for maybe over feeding her.
    now she's 7 wks and she drinks roughly 5-7 oz of formula a day which i know isn't a lot but it still kind of bugs me. i contacted a lll leader about attending meetings but wasn't able to attend this month. i am going to contact a lactation consultant this monday because i would love to eliminate the formula all together.
    also when i pump if i miss a feeding i only get about 2 oz per breast, usually less!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: mix feeding and feeling terrible about it

    Thanks for the information Don't gauge your supply on what you can pump. A pump is not a good indication of supply. That said, if you are yielding 4 oz. per pumping session (2 oz each breast) then you are well above average! Most women yield 2 oz. per pumping session

    I'm wondering why your ped had you supplement if baby gained 12 1/2 oz.????

    Keep in mind that just because baby gulps down a bottle of formula or expressed breastmilk after a nursing session doesn't necessarily mean that baby is still hungry. Sucking/swallowing is a reflex in babies -- a suck stimulates a swallow which stimulates another suck and so on and so forth. Have you tried not supplementing OR tried doing the supplements via a SNS so that your breasts are stimulated more? What is baby's wet diaper output like? And stooling patterns (keeping in mind that after 6 weeks of age baby's can often go several days between bowel movements)? Have you already cut back on the supplements with good results? If so, continue to cut them out slowly -- perhaps just 1 oz. at a time. Again, keeping a close eye on baby's wet diaper output. Can you have someone else give baby the supplements after nursing and then you pump to stimulate your breasts? This is a good way to increase your supply (if you even need to).

    Remember, milk supply is all about supply & demand -- the more baby demands it and you allow her to nurse the more supply you'll have for baby.

    I think seeing a IBCLC is a good idea -- she'll be able to help you in person and give you some great ideas on how to cut out the supplements.

    Don't get discouraged or frustrated! You're well on your way to exclusive breastfeeding -- just keep up the great work! You'll get through this

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