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Thread: my rights as a parent

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    66

    Default my rights as a parent

    Hello--

    I had an unsucessful breastfeeding experience with my first baby due to the lack of support at the hospital after her birth. She passed meconium, but did not aspirate any & they told me that she was "required" to go to the non-NICU nursery for 8 hours of "observation."

    What are my rights as far as demanding that I hold & breastfeed my baby immediately after birth if there are no medical concerns?

    TIA

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    279

    Default Re: my rights as a parent

    If you have a c-section, they may not allow you to hold the baby until you are out of recovery.
    If you have a vaginal birth, you have every right to hold your baby, but it is best to check this with your OB/Gyn and hospital. Some hospitals and OBs are very accommodating and others (as you found out) are not.
    Important: make sure that your pediatrician knows you want to breastfeed and is supportive of your decision. Mine totally went to bat for me with the hospital when they were keeping my baby away from me too long.

    The more people you have on your side the better! Good luck!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    470

    Default Re: my rights as a parent

    It is also helpful to write down your plan and show it to your doctor ahead of time and also to bring it with you to the hospital. That way in the crazy-ness of just giving birth, they have in writing what you want.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    4,029

    Default Re: my rights as a parent

    While your LO didn't aspirate any meconium, they probably couldn't tell 100%, so wanted to play it safe. Not trying to defend your hospital, but that's probably what happened.

    Your OB should know what is normal course of action for your hospital. Every hospital has different "rules". If you're uncomfortable with the hospital rules, maybe research other area hospitals. Also, don't rule out birthing centers and midwives. They typically have a more mommy-baby focus.

    Lisa

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    561

    Default Re: my rights as a parent

    I'm no lawyer, but honestly, that baby is *yours*. I had this idea w/ dd1 that the hospital personnel knew what was best, and I was *so* wrong! I felt like they had taken my baby away and would give her back when they thought I was a good enough mother to look after her properly. No, that baby does not belong to the doctors and nurses; s/he belongs to *you*. Might help to have a strong friend or family member w/ you as much as poss. so they don't pull anything on you if you're not fully mobile after the delivery. I'd also write down what you want and discuss w/ your OB and ped before, and maybe even write to the director of maternity services at the hospital. You and your baby are human beings, not products on an assembly line. Good luck.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    70

    Default Re: my rights as a parent

    You have the right to refuse any testing or treatment for yourself AND your child. unless the situation is life and death, they have no right to interfere and since they had her in the non-nicu for observation it sounds like it wasn't life and death at all.

    my dd had meconium as well, they had a pediatrician on sight who suctioned her and then they gave her back to me. the hospital only did rooming in with moms and babies unless it was an emergency situation. they did however take my first lo away from me twice for bloodwork and bathing and i didn't know i had the right to refuse.

    this time with my ds, i told the nurses when i was in labor that i wanted no seperation, all newborn procedures done in the room etc. they were wonderful about accomodating us and even though ds needed oxygen at birth because his feet/hands were blue and he was breathing rapidly so they had to watch him for a while, they did everything in my presence as requested.

    you just have to remind some of these nurses and doctors that you're the parent and that is your child, not theirs. if they give you any flack about it or say it's hospital policy that baby has to go to nursery for a bath or something tell them you want to see the policy in writing, and that hospital policy is not law and if they would like you will sign a waiver but unless its an emergency you do not consent to baby being taken away. just keep saying that over and over. they can't do anything without your consent barring an emergency of course.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    66

    Default Re: my rights as a parent

    Thank you all so much for the support. RedHeadMom--thank you so much! You put into words exactly how I feel & I'm going to make sure that I have my mom & DH vocally advocate for my rights at birth. I think it will be easier since this is my second baby & I'm not totally in the dark about what is going to happen.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    778

    Default Re: my rights as a parent

    Listen, you are never going to see these people again, except your ob so say what you want and don't be afraid to speak up for your baby. Babies are most alert in the 2 hrs following birth than they are for months after that so its impt to start BF then. I took her minutes after birth to nurse and then they took her said it would be 45 minutes for bath ect and I dozed off it was 3 hrs. I got on the horn and was pissed. I just kept calling the nursery every 10 minutes. They mumbled something about warming lamps ect. I WANTED my baby and they were being jerks about it. Then they took her in the am for 2 hrs for the dr to look at her. That I was ok with b/c it was the next day...still I didn't know why they needed 2 hrs. Come to find out it was simply to make the nurses life easier..they pick up and drop off all the babys at the same time. They do try and bully you b/c the nurses feel they know so much more than you about infants and they do....this is their job, they do it everyday. However they also do a lot of things out of convience. They kept at me to give her hep B the 1st day and I just kept refusing. Finally I said mark my chart that she isn't getting it ...I am tired of going over the same with each rotation of nurses. I was there for 2 days b/c of bleeding. I also told them no more residents pushing on my uterus. Sorry I was a good sport and had a roomful during the birth, but I just wanted to be left alone, I wish I told them that the day before. I am sure they were just as happy to see me go as I was to leave. It's your baby and your birth experience. Make it what you want....you have the choice to do so. I wish you the best
    Last edited by mastiffkarin; January 16th, 2007 at 10:40 AM.
    karin

    wife to the best guy... anthony
    BF~PTCD'ing~ co-sleeping~ babywearing~organic eating mom to adorable anneliese 9/27/06 and sweet little melania 12/22/07
    and mom to my first love.... 3 fur babies

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    8,018

    Default Re: my rights as a parent

    My hospital was great-they also had a rooming in policy unless there was an emergency. When they did take my DD out of the room for anything, like her hearing screening, either my DH or I went with her at all times. If at all possible, have your partner or another close adult stay with you to be your advocate and helper.
    Like a pp said, don't be afraid of offending people if they are disrespecting you and going against your wishes. Most nurses are wonderful people, but unfortunately some of them are pushy and disprespectful and you don't have to stand for it.
    This webpage gives an example of a birth plan form (this is from the hospital where I gave birth-I know, lucky me). It covers a lot of the issues you'll want to consider and discuss with your provider ahead of time. Some people think you shouldn't have a "plan" because labor is unpredicatable. IMO it is VERY important to have a "plan," but keep in mind that you may have to change plans and be flexible as you go along.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    458

    Default Re: my rights as a parent

    And write the birth plan early. VERY early. My DS was born at 35 weeks, the day my DH and I were planning on sitting down and writing that plan, so I was disappointed in how a few things were handled. Plus I didn't know as much then as I do now, and I would have done a few things differently.

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