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Thread: I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    82

    Default I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

    I've had it. I cannot bf successfully. every time I think we're over our hurdles I'm thrown a loop. I struggled with 3 LCs, sore nipples, mysterious breast pain, fenugreek, waking up every 3 hours during the night to feed/pump, and pumping like mad to get my supply up and to get my daughter to latch. She isn't a big eater and every feeding was a struggle. Finally we had it! She was eating and gaining, I had so much milk that I was able to freeze about a week's worth, pumping 3-4 oz per breast, my nipple and breast pain went away, and we were both happy.

    Now all of a sudden it's over. I noticed I couldn't pump much on Friday and it's gotten progressively worse during the weekend. Today I can barely squeek out an ounce combined. She is latching but won't suck b/c why should she? there's nothing there.

    To make matters worse, she started getting the crystalized red spots in her diaper from lack of hydration and concentrated urine. This was an issue in the hospital and the drs told me to make sure if we see that to get her hydrated asap so now I'm giving her EBM following each "nursing" session, although by nursing I mean she latches, falls asleeps, and cries.

    I'm back on fenugreek as of yesterday (3/3x) and since Saturday I've been pumping every 2 hours and getting less and less as the day goes.

    I don't really expect advice. Just needed to vent. I've done everything I can possibly think of and nothing is helping. I can get her to 3 months exclusively bf using my frozen milk and then I guess it's over. Frustration is an understatement.

    And yes, I've been in contact with my local LLL. She's very nice. Not much else to say on that note.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    54

    Default Re: I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

    I'm sorry it has been so hard. You have done an awesome job getting as far as you have!! Do what you think is best and healthiest for your child.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    2,178

    Default Re: I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't want to even try to offer any advice, because it seems like you've probably heard it all before. I just want to offer some encouragement and let you know that you did a GREAT JOB of breastfeeding your baby. You should be commended, because while almost everybody does have some sort of problem or another, you seem to have worked through MANY problems and still breastfed your baby for 3 whole months.

    If things don't work out and you do completely wean, know that you did the best thing you could for your baby by breastfeeding, and remember that if you decide to have another baby, things may be totally different, and these same problems might not happen again. It would be sad to know you were totally turned off to ever breastfeeding in the future when there is no guarantee this will ever happen again.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    279

    Default Re: I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

    Breastfeeding is not an all-or-nothing decision!
    Even stopping at 3 months, you have done something wonderful for your baby, more than many moms here in the U.S.

    I had a similarly rough experience with my first baby (inadequate supply, fenugreek didn't work, supplemental feeding system didn't work) and cried my heart out when I realized my milk just wasn't going to be enough. I barely made it to 3 months, and that was fine.

    You've done a great job mama! Good for you for hanging in there so long!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,405

    Default Re: I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

    How old is your baby? I saw some of the pink crystalization in pee and was told it was VERY COMMON the 1st month or so home??? I would be more inclined to be concerned about a lack of wet diapers...are you seeing less than 4 a day?

    Also don't think that because you were engorged and now your not that your breast are empty. They are NEVER empty. (Even when they are empty, if a child continues to suck, there will be another letdown). That's why I am asking about your baby's age...at some point our bodies adjust. Don't automatically go to a place of self doubt. If your baby is having enough wet diapers, even if you aren't producing much with a pump, it doesn't mean your child isn't extracting plenty when latched.

    You also said you are back on Fengreek? So if you are still going to try, don't give up pumping, just don't let it frustrate you when you don't get as much. It's still nipple stimulation and it's still sending a signal to you body to make milk! I'm sorry your having a time right now. Like all relationships, you nursing relationship with your child will have ups and downs and unfortunately a lot of the roughest spots can occur the 1st 6-12weeks. It does get easier. We swear. Just take it a couple of days at a time. Supplementing with your own milk is NOT failure. But keep bring your child to your breast. If she falls asleep there, she's NOT starving. Hopefully you'll have some improvement in the next couple of days. Good luck!

    Way too lazy for formula

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,712

    Default Re: I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

    Quote Originally Posted by DJ's Mom View Post
    How old is your baby? I saw some of the pink crystalization in pee and was told it was VERY COMMON the 1st month or so home??? I would be more inclined to be concerned about a lack of wet diapers...are you seeing less than 4 a day?

    Also don't think that because you were engorged and now your not that your breast are empty. They are NEVER empty. (Even when they are empty, if a child continues to suck, there will be another letdown). That's why I am asking about your baby's age...at some point our bodies adjust. Don't automatically go to a place of self doubt. If your baby is having enough wet diapers, even if you aren't producing much with a pump, it doesn't mean your child isn't extracting plenty when latched.

    You also said you are back on Fengreek? So if you are still going to try, don't give up pumping, just don't let it frustrate you when you don't get as much. It's still nipple stimulation and it's still sending a signal to you body to make milk! I'm sorry your having a time right now. Like all relationships, you nursing relationship with your child will have ups and downs and unfortunately a lot of the roughest spots can occur the 1st 6-12weeks. It does get easier. We swear. Just take it a couple of days at a time. Supplementing with your own milk is NOT failure. But keep bring your child to your breast. If she falls asleep there, she's NOT starving. Hopefully you'll have some improvement in the next couple of days. Good luck!
    I totally agree! Keep trying. I am also not sure of the age of your little one but a dip in supply doesn't mean you have "lost your milk" and what you pump does not always = what is in your breasts. You may know all this and just be frustrated. I hope you continue trying. You are doing a great job working so hard for your baby.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    82

    Default Re: I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

    Thanks everyone for all the wonderful encouragement. My baby is 10 weeks old. What frustrates me is that we were doing great and I thought the hardest days were behind me. Not so, I guess. I know she isn't getting enough b/c she only sucks for a few sucks when I feel a letdown. Then she goes to nibbles.

    I am going to give it until Friday. I went out and got blessed thistle as well to supplement the fenugreek. I also had doubts about the integrity of my pump so medela is sending me a new motor fed-ex overnight. If I don't see a change by Friday I will have to stop.

    Thank you again. I guess I was very upset when I wrote my first post. It's been such a roller coaster!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    17,405

    Default Re: I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

    How's the diaper output???

    Way too lazy for formula

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    863

    Default Re: I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

    Wow! You have ran a marathon until this point when it comes to nursing! You are exhausted,physically and emotionally! Just when you thought your troubles were over- BAM! You were thrown a curve ball.

    It sounds like your lo nurses strongly until let down and then flutter sucks. Have you tried breast compressions? There is a good discussion on how to do breast compressions along withare videos here. You can scroll down and click on the videos or articles on compression. The goal of breast compression is to stimulate the baby to suck more actively at the breast and keep the baby nursing actively for longer by increasing the flow of milk.

    Regardless of whether you are able to continue or not, feel good about the fact that you breastfed for 3 whole months. As one pp mentioned, this is more than many babies are given. You can feel good knowing you exhausted all your options and made a choice that was best for your family. Please keep us posted!
    Kristie L.
    LLL Leader
    (the poster formerly known as fezzik812)
    Wife to Brett, Mommy to Seamus (5.1.05), and Emelie (1.18.08)
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Ghandi

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    82

    Default Re: I'm done! I can't take it anymore!

    Diaper output was getting weaker so we decided to supplement with the expressed bm.

    Things are better today. My supply is up a bit due to the fenugreek I think. We're still supplementing with EBM after each nursing session and will continue to do so until things are really back to normal. But I feel better and more hopeful that things can get back on track and my supply will stay up.

    Thank you everyone again. I felt so much better after reading all of these very supportive, non-judgemental posts.

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