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Thread: I can't take it anymore! I think I want to wean!

  1. #1
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    Jan 2006
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    Default I can't take it anymore! I think I want to wean!

    I nursed my dd for 18 mo and my ds is now 19 mo.

    I just can't take it anymore. I work full time and when I get home my ds nurses almost every waking and sleeping moment. He isn't cutting back and saying no makes him scream bloody murder. He won't go to daddy, which is causing my relationship with dd to suffer. His demands for nursing is starting to make me angry. I can't sleep through it any longer as I did when he was younger. I just want my boobs to be let alone. I'm really sick of him grabbing at me.

    Ideally I'd nurse him when he got home from school and to bed, but he just won't take being limited.

    I really don't know how to cut back. For us night weaning = weaning since I work full time.

    I don't know how to wean because I really don't want him to scream, but he does if he doesn't get what he wants. Don't ask, don't refuse won't work. I never ask. He does constantly (more just grabs my boob and starts eating).

    Any advice???

  2. #2
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    Feb 2006
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    Default Re: I can't take it anymore! I think I want to wean!

    It must be so hard for you to work all day and then come home with dozens of things to do around the house. Then you have two sweet toddlers who have not seen you all day and they desperately want you to sit down and focus on them. Sounds like DH would like a piece of the action too. Somewhere in there you must be longing for a little time to be alone. You have a really full plate.
    Sounds like weaning might make things worse since ds is still so needy. Perhaps what might work is to look at ways to make the transition home smoother for everyone. Can things like meals and chores be simplified? Can the first hour home just be a time for the family to cuddle and reconnect? If you took fifteen minutes in the morning before waking up the children could you start something in the crockpot and doa quickie chore so that things are calmer when you come home?
    Have you ever put your kids to sleep in their clothes so that they are ready to go in the morning?
    Just some thoughts. I have had many times when I feel the same but after I have worked through other issues that are impacting the nursing relationship I find that I want to keep the nursing. I find the harder I resist meeting my toddler's needs the more demanding they become.

    Anne
    momuvseven

  3. #3
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    Default Re: I can't take it anymore! I think I want to wean!

    I know exactly what you are talking about. My ds is 23 months and he constantly wants to nurse. Some days i hate it and some days i love it.
    It sounds like to me that you are ready to wean. I dont blame you. Im sorry but i dont have any advice. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. Hopefully it will make you feel a little better.

  4. #4
    LLLJacqui's Avatar
    LLLJacqui is offline Shares Widely And Frequently
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    Default Re: I can't take it anymore! I think I want to wean!

    Have you taken a look at the books "Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning" and "How Weaning Happens"? There might be some really good suggestions for you there.

    Also, here are some website articles with suggestions:

    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/w...echniques.html

    http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning_mom.html

    http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/weanhowto.html

    I hope these help you... It really sounds like your relationship is going to suffer if you nurse much longer, and that's never a good thing...

    Jacqui

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I can't take it anymore! I think I want to wean!

    Thanks for the help and support.

    The other night was really bad and I even ran into his room to sleep, leaving him to sleep with daddy. I pumped a little in the morning.

    I was originally going to just let him nurse afterschool and maybe at night time. Stick to it strictly and then cut back...

    Anyways, when I brought the kids home from school they just played and he didn't try to nurse. I pumped a little that afternoon.

    Amazingly, he actually played for quite some time at bed time. He was quite loving and affectionate. Then eventually he laid down and went to sleep next to me WITHOUT NURSING!

    I bought some pj's that were less accessible (time to retire the nursing nightgowns).

    Maybe this will be easier than I thought. I might just have to bond with my pump again for a few weeks.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
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    Default Re: I can't take it anymore! I think I want to wean!

    I remember feeling the way you did. It was a tough choice to wean, but the right one for me and my daughter. We both started to sleep through the night when she weaned at 18 months. I was so sleep deprived that I was a miserable mommy during the day most days.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: I can't take it anymore! I think I want to wean!

    I really have no experience with this, but my approach would be to try to fill baby up with other food first and consider nursing a dessert rather than the main course. So, if ds eats a decent amount of regular food he gets to nurse. The regular food also should help fill him up so that he won't wake up hungry in the middle of the night.

  8. #8
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    Smile Re: I can't take it anymore! I think I want to wean!

    Wow, I have definitely been there, although my dd was not quite that agressive. I realize now that dd's fiery personality had me intimidated and I was afraid to make her cry or scream; therefore, I often nursed her while angry, frustrated, exhausted. Now, I can see that even though she screams at first when she does not get her way, when she sees that I mean it, she gets over it quickly - I mean like 30 seconds! So, now is the time to let him see that mommy has SOME say in the nursing relationship! I would suggest ( if you are not going to wean after all) that your DH maybe take your DS outside to play or whatever away from you. He may scream at first, but most this age love their daddies. Maybe after you nurse him when you first get home. Once he sees that DH is going to be involved with him, he may calm down. This was a very rough time for me as far as nursing; dd wanted it constantly. I started to cut the nursing short and pull off and would then roll over; then dd would roll over and we slept back to back. I had to keep "the goods" as far away from her as possible and never let her see me without a shirt on!! This way I was not lying there for hours as she drifted in and out of a light sleep while nursing. I am starting think that this may be the age where they are ready to really sleep without nursing because the nursing does not conk them out the way it does when they are smaller. Just a thought.

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