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Thread: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    2,726

    Default Re: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

    There are some other possibilities to be ruled out. Does your baby have tongue tie? An irregular sucking pattern? Etc.

    It could just be that it's still the beginning. Even with a good latch it took me a couple weeks to get used to the feeling. I think the nipples need to get accustomed to it before they stop hurting. They aren't used to being sucked on like that.

    For me, for the first several weeks it was much more of a pain and hard work than a beautiful bonding experience. You'll feel it eventually, and when the moment comes, you'll be so grateful you stuck to it.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    470

    Default Re: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

    Hi and welcome to this forum! Congrats on your newborn.

    I hear your sadness that you are not enjoying breastfeeding. And for all the pain that you are bravely enduring for your little one... to you!

    When I started breastfeeding, my midwife told me the baby's positioning was fine too. But I still had so much nipple pain that I couldn't even stand to wear clothes. Tears would roll down my cheeks as I fed my baby. I wondered if I would ever enjoy breastfeeding.

    But after week 6, things began looking up. I don't really know why. Perhaps my nipples "toughened up", perhaps baby got the hang of proper latching. By 3 months, I was mostly pain-free except for the blocked ducts and blisters. But by then, I had read up learned how to handle these too.

    Now I am thoroughly enjoying breastfeeding! And I am very sure you will too. Hang in there. Don't give up. Things do get better!
    Caylen Koen Chew (25/05/06)
    Lost No.2 in Aug 2008 ... Lost No. 3 in May 2009 Hoping for another ... Enjoying No.1



  3. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    164

    Default Re: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

    I had these same concerns 6 months ago, it took atleast 4 weeks to get things under control. I remember the pain and crying to my husband, I even considered giving up bf, but I had a ton of support from dh and my mom, some how got through! I am so glad that I made it because there is a bond that forms between you and lo that no one can ever explain to you. It is something very special that only you can share with this little baby. the pain will subside and with that will come something amazing for you both!

    Good luck. Hang in there

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    206

    Default Re: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

    The first five months were something like hell. Tooo much pain, mastitis, not self confidence at all, guilties just with the thought of giving formula, thoughts that you are not a good mother. Once i stopped BFing in the middle -after 2 hours nursing constantly- i gave the baby crying to my hisband and left the house and after 10 min i ran back yo feed her. My ped was saying that i have to feed myself good and relax and try to use olive oil and perhaps starting to use a pump. And just suddenly the pain goes away your baby is more capable to latch on well. So magic!!!! And then you start feeling this bonding with your child. Even now it takes over an hour to nurse feed her (almost 5 months) but i don't care. She squeeses my nipples but it doesn't hurt.
    Good luck. Keep going and no matter what will happen you have to know that you are a good mother and you have to take care of yourself cause the baby understands the fussiness and you stress!!!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    1,433

    Default Re: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

    first of all Welcome and congrats on your lo!

    Hang in there, I know what you feel as the whole experience isn't what you had expected. It will get better and you will feel so proud for getting through this rough start. Please remember that the two of you are both new and are learning this at the same time. Please don't get discouraged it will get better that I can promise you. Just remember you are not alone, there are many women who are on this forum and have been through the same thing. We are all here to help each other get through questions we have and are supportive. The support is what gets us through the rough times. Ask all questions you have, nobody judges here, we just answer based on our experiences and from other mom's here. If you haven't already get in touch with your local LLL leader in your area, attend the meetings, and come here as we are all here to help.

    Give it time you will see it does get better!
    Jenn SAHM and carseat to

    DD 5 years old , nursed till just shy of 3 yrs old



  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    1,108

    Default Re: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

    Oh honey, I remember all that pain very clearly! It's so difficult in the beginning. And no one tells you how much it hurts! I had a challenging natural birth, but I still say bf hurt more!

    There's some good advice posted above, but I just wanted to share with you that it is very normal to experience such pain. If you keep working toward a good latch, it will go away eventually as your body gets used to bf. Some of us have more sensitive nipples than others and it takes a while to build up a tolerance. It's like when you start to play an instrument - you can't play 8hour a day in the beginning or your lips will fall off. Unfortunately, babies expect you to do it right away.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    789

    Default Re: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

    I watched my best friends nurse without any problems and felt so cheated when I had to deal with lots of pain, engorgement, thrush, etc. My nipples were sore for almost nine weeks and I didn't even want to hold my baby early on because it hurt to hold him to my chest. I too thought, "this is supposed to be easy/special/amazing etc.? Now my son is 12 weeks old and only recently have I started feeling all those amazing feelings you read about. Stick with it, it will get better, and get all the help you can from LCs and LLL leaders. Those folks saved me. It's so worth it if you can stick with it. Also, how about 100 mg of ibuprofen for the pain? My LC recommended that to me.

    Crying baby to tend to...

    Anne- Mom to two active boys: Henry 10/06 and Jamie 4/09


    Looking for an LLL leader in your area? click:
    http://www.llli.org/webindex.html

    confused about abbreviations? check this out:
    http://forums.llli.org/showthread.php?t=807

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    882

    Default Re: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

    Pinkdomino...how are you doing? Updates?

  9. #19

    Default Re: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

    GENTLE REMINDER: Nipple Shields should only be used under the guidance and instruction of an IBCLC or LLL Leader.
    "Mothers are designed to be available to their babies--to help them make the transition into this big, wide world. To teach them to trust, and love, and feel good about being alive."
    --Elizabeth N. Baldwin, Esq., So I Nursed Him Every 45 Minutes

    Click here to find your local LLL Group
    How to tell if your breastfed baby is getting enough milk!

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Exreme pain - Where is the special bonding experience I was promised?

    Update...

    My son lost 10% of his birth weight within the first week. I feel so guilty I am unable to nurish him as I should. I appreciate all the supportive comments and that have been posted. I have read/tried out suggestions but still in agony. With the knowledge of weight loss and stress caused I have reluctantly resigned myself to dreaded formula. I can't face the pain for 4/5 weeks till it settles. The guilt of not feeding will stay with me for ever I fear, yet I can't go on with bf any longer.

    Many thanks La Leche for being there - love to all mums & babies xxx
    Pink'

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