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Thread: seperation anxiety about going back to work

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    42

    Default seperation anxiety about going back to work

    Hi, after 37 years I was finally able to become a mom and I'm loving every moment of it. I'm a single mom and I have been very lucky to be able to stay home with my bundle of joy for 7 months. However,I need to go back to work in 2 weeks and the thought of not seeing my baby girl for 10 or 11 hour a day devastates me. Part time work is not an option as I'm an executive at my job and need to physically be there 40 plus hours. please help with ideas or support.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    222

    Default Re: seperation anxiety about going back to work

    Congratulations on your baby! I went back to work at 5 months, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. The last day we were totally together, I spent entirely in tears. My poor baby had no idea what was going on, but I was a wreck. I'm still just working part time, (3 1/2 days a week), but initially started back at just 2 days a week. It made the transition a little easier. Could you do something like that for a few weeks to help make it easier on both of you? Or maybe work at home (if you have in-home care) a couple days a week for a while?

    If not, it does get easier, no matter how many days you have when you think you can't bear to be away from them. I also have found that I enjoy the time that we are together that much more. If you can, hire a cleaning service and others to help take care of all the things you'll feel stressed about so that you can just enjoy yourselves when you're home!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    2,866

    Default Re: seperation anxiety about going back to work

    Are there other care options? Someone close to your work, rather than close to your home? Perhaps your care giver could even bring baby to work for you to nurse and cuddle on your break or vice versa.

  4. #4

    Default Re: seperation anxiety about going back to work

    It's a fact - you will miss your baby while you're apart. We all do, it's natural. Most mothers find that it gets a little easier, as you both become more accustomed to the separations.

    Can your daycare provider call you during the day with updates? Or can you call them? Email? Pictures?

    Ask your provider to send home notes each day, so you know what your daughter is doing each day. You can also send a short note each morning, letting the provider know when you last fed her, how she slept, etc, so you're both on the same page when caring for your daughter.

    As others have suggested, if your daycare is close to your work, try to go see your baby during the day, whenever you can fit it into your schedule. Or ask your provider to bring baby to you occasionally.

    Ask your daycare provider not to feed baby at the end of the day, so you get to spend a few minutes nursing and bonding at the end of the day.

    Please keep asking questions as they come up, there are lots of working mothers here!
    Shannon
    LLL Leader

    Protect your privacy online; don't use your full name. Click My Alias at the top left corner.

    I'm horrible at html and encoding links, so I apologize in advance for all the long links!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    104

    Default Re: seperation anxiety about going back to work

    I totally know how you feel! The first week back at work was miserable for me. I would cry when I dropped my daughter off and could barely even focus on my work, I missed her so badly. But, it has gotten easier. We've really learned to cherish the time we spend together and we live for the weekends!
    My husband is in prison, so I'm a temporarily single parent too, and I really do realize how difficult the separatiion anxiety can be...and the guilt. But I have to work to provide a safe and warm place for my family to live and that's what I tell myself when I feel like a bad mother.
    Your baby will love you no matter what--even if you are away during the days! And Autumn actually loves daycare...she has a blast! So maybe your baby will too..
    The first few weeks will be very hard--I can tell you that, but it will get easier...

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    74

    Red face Re: seperation anxiety about going back to work

    I tried figuring out any possible way to be able to stay at home...but it just wasnt' happening. I felt very guilty for leaving her...even though a friend is watching her. When I hear that she is fussy, wanting to nurse, crying for whatever reason, etc. I felt even more guilty for not being there for her to comfort her. It does get better. Over time I learned to look at the positive side of things. I enjoy my time with her more and am probably a better mother. What is that saying..."absense makes the heart grow fonder?" Every once in awhile I get depressed when someone else gets to spend most of the day with her, teach her things, watch her do new things, etc. But enjoying time with her as much as possible is all that matters. And after being away from her for awhile, the time with her is even more enjoyable. The only thing now is that I get compaints from the family that they never get to babysit because I never want to give her up on the weekends. So we often do a lot of visiting on the weekends. I suppose that is good because it enables us to spend more time with everyone! Don't worry, it will get better. After awile, both you and your baby will adjust. Hang in there!

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