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Thread: different views from pediatrician

  1. #1
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    Nov 2006
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    Default different views from pediatrician

    Not all of this relates to solids, but I imagine here is as good of a place as any.

    DD is now 6 months and the pediatrician wants us to start solids (rice cereal). We want to do a baby led approach and give DD bananas or avocados when the time is right. How do you handle things when the pediatrician is telling you one thing and your heart is telling you another?

    We also have disagreements when it comes to sleeping. DD has a crib and I think she has taken about 3 naps in it, but sleeps with us at night. Pediatrician wants us to let her CIO at night and sleep along. DH and I already decided that DD can sleep with us or in our room as long as needed. And we both need it because night times feedings are a breeze with co-sleeping.

    Any suggestions on how to handle the pediatrician?

  2. #2
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    Jul 2006
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    Default Re: different views from pediatrician

    IMO and experience these are things that don't effect her general health, therefore you don't need to tell the doctor these things. I don't. I have told her that we aren't taking the poly vi sol she keeps insisting we need but there is no need to explain that you aren't starting with cereal or are co-sleeping. You could always try to find a ped whose opinion agreed with yours. HTH

  3. #3
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: different views from pediatrician

    Take it with a grain of salt. You don't have to follow any "rules". No one can tell you what you can/can't do with your LO. Just have fun and go with the flow!
    “Only with trust, faith, and support can the woman allow the birth experience to enlighten and empower her.” - Annie Kennedy & Penny Simkin

  4. #4
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    Default Re: different views from pediatrician

    I agree with Sue, there are some things your doctor doesn't need to know. You can try to find another ped, but IME, you will not find a ped that will agree with your parenting choices 100%. I would just be honest with your doc though...this is what we did because we do not vaccinate. Tell him that you respect his medical opinion but that you have very different ideals about parenting and could he please limit the scope of his advice to the medical realm?

    Maybe its just our doctor...but he's never offered us parenting advice. Maybe because we don't go that often and we don't offer up extraneous information, but you can also just smile and wave and say thanks. Just because your doctor tells you to do something doesn't mean you have to!!!

    Leslie
    All over the world there exists in every society a small group of women who feel themselves strongly attracted to giving care to other women during pregnancy and childbirth. Failure to make use of this group of highly motivated people is regrettable and a sin against the principle of subsidiary. ~ Dr. Kloosterman, Chief of OB/GYN, Univ. of Amsterdam, Holland


    **Leslie**

    Mama to:
    Shiloh (5/6/06) Nursed for 13 months and Josephine (7/26/08) Nursed for 23.5 mos Currently nursing my new little firecracker, Finley Catherine, born on the 4th of July!!

  5. #5
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    Default Re: different views from pediatrician

    There are two different kinds of advice your pediatrician is giving....medical & parenting. Not sure why the docs feel the need to offer parenting advice (unless you ask), but they do. Cosleeping is definitely in that realm, as is CIO, or other sleep tactics. As far as eating solids go, there are so many ways to go about it, that there is no "right" way (sure, there are better ways than others), but you do as your heart leads.

    Don't bring it up to your doc, but if s/he asks, then just politely say, "I don't agree with your opinion on that, so let's just agree to disagree." They'll get the picture that their advice is best kept to the medical.

    Lisa

  6. #6
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    Dec 2006
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    Default Re: different views from pediatrician

    I agree with most of the previous responses. At Jacob's 4 month appointment, his pediatrician said we could start solids at any time, that he seemed ready, and that most people start with rice cereal. She also said that some people like to hold off on fruits since some think when you start with sweet foods, the baby will refuse less sweet foods later. I didn't tell her outright that I wouldn't be following that advice. I just nodded and smiled, then started my baby with a tiny bit of bananas a month and a half later (at 5 1/2 months). We did give a little rice cereal recently, but are planning to stick mainly with fresh fruits and veggies. As far as co-sleeping, we said Jacob was sleeping in a bassinet in our room at his 1 month visit (which was true at the time), and the doctor seemed happy with that. Now we're primarily co-sleeping, but since the doctor hasn't asked about sleeping arrangments, we haven't discussed it since then. I wouldn't lie to the doctor - but I also wouldn't bring up the subjects we disagree on if she didn't bring it up first.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: different views from pediatrician

    The way we've learned to deal with differences of opinion about parenting methods is alot like the pp's have said. When our ped. asks at every well-child visit if our baby is sleeping in a crib, I answer "His crib is actually in our bedroom."

    The weird suggestions about parenting by the ped. have pretty much stopped though since we're on child #2 now(she must realize we figured it out with #1)...although every once in awhile its like she totally hasn't even read LO's chart...or skimmed it even...before she walks in to do his check up. Our town isn't even very big, but I know that out of the 3 ped.s in town, ours is one of the most popular.

    I have to say, that when we've researched a particular thing...like waiting to introduce solids, and when she suggested rice cereal at 4 mos., and I told her that we were going to be waiting until 6 mos. since there's a family history of food allergies, she totally backed down and just said ok before she told us we needed unnecessary vitamins.

    I have to say though, that if our ped. told us we needed to let our child CIO without us asking for sleep advice, that I probably would've said something like "Oh MY GOSH!!! I can't believe you still go along with that method. Haven't you done any research into the repercussions of using CIO?" And if the ped. then tried to prove up CIO as an ok method of parenting, I'd stop her and say that I appreciate her medical advice, but that her parenting advice really doesn't go along with our views.

    For the most part, I've found that if you're confident, and don't mention parenting issues, but only medical ones, that you mainly get medical advice and not parenting advice. I think it must be in their schooling somewhere that 1st time parents actually need their parenting advice.

  8. #8
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: different views from pediatrician

    I say go with what your heart is telling you! I agree that just because the ped tells you some advice that you don't have to go along with it...it is advice, not a directive. You are your LO's parent, you make these decisions for your LO. Even on medical issues, they should be a partner with you in making decisions, not a dictator.

    As far as parenting advice, peds give it because many parents do ask them these things, so they have gotten used to talking about it with new parents. Some child safety things they are concerned about because they think if they didn't warn you that they would be liable if something happened to your LO. We co-sleep and you can totally do so safely, but most peds are just taught to advise a crib for baby, and they usually don't even know the safety rules for co-sleeping. So I'm not surprised by that, but to advise CIO like it is a must is really unfortunate. That's totally a parenting decision...maybe if you had asked his/her opinion on the best way to get a baby to sleep. Even then the ped should have given a few different things to try.

    And as far as solids, we are doing baby-led also, but I have found that is not that wide-spread, so your ped may not have even heard of it. You may have to educate him/her on it, or if you don't want the battle, just don't talk about it like PPs have mentioned. If you can, maybe find a ped who thinks more like you or is open to accepting different parenting styles. Maybe ask some like-minded mom friends who they take their kids to.

    Good luck!
    Jenny
    Mama to Jacob , born 6/11/06
    And his NEW baby brother , born 8/14/08

    , , , cloth diapering

  9. #9
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    Nov 2006
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    Default Re: different views from pediatrician

    My LLL meeting is next week - I think I will ask about which ped people are using. I moved to this town when DD was 2 months and just went with the recomendation of the only people I knew in town.

  10. #10
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    Dec 2006
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    Default Re: different views from pediatrician

    Go with what is right for you and your baby. These are PERSONAL decisions and most doctors take the "industrialized" route and think that babies should be "independent" from the moment they leave the mom's womb. You know your baby and you know what is best for your baby. Always listen to others, but that doesn't mean that they should over-rule what you know to be right for you and your baby.

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