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Thread: Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Default Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

    My DD is almost 16 months old. I work outside the home, and she BFs primarily in the evening and nighttime. She wakes at night to BF, usually once in the early morning hours. This is not really an issue for me because I am happy she is still getting the extra BM to keep her healthy. When she wakes in the night, I go to her room and we usually fall asleep nursing in our chair, then I wake after a bit, put her back down in her crib, and go back to bed uneventfully. She takes one 2-3 hour nap during the day without nursing, and overall averages at least 12 hours of sleep per 24 hour period.
    My DH took her to a well-child ped’s visit last week and he said that she should not be waking at night and I should not be Bfing her back to sleep. He said she must learn to fall asleep on her own.
    By the way, my DD is perfectly healthy and well-developed and has never once, since she was born, been to the doctor for anything but a well-child visit. I wonder if the ped noticed that or not?
    Anyway, I want to ask my ped about it and ask for some research or authoritative literature supporting his recommendations. Anyone have any literature to support him or me? Or other helpful information? I can’t just ignore this because my DH is concerned and I am upset. Please help.
    TIA.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    164

    Default Re: Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

    I went to the ped today and he said my lo should not be nursed to sleep or fed at night either!! I asked him what I should do to get her back to sleep, his response was "she should be sleeping through the night at 6months". I was appalled at his answer. I will be changing peds pronto!!!!!! He is a dr in a group practice, we had never met before, but I definately don't agree with his recommendations. If your dd is happy and healthy, I would just continue with your routine (that is what I am going to do). Good luck!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Charleston SC
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    Default Re: Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

    My ped is great! We love her. She is not against night nursing or the family bed bc she did both of the above with her children but she did say that she would "like" for Thomas to be able to fall asleep w/o nursing or a blankie ect.. I take this as "medical" not "pratcical" advice... I know that it is hard to just go on when you usually respect your peds advice... I found some helpful info in "Nighttime Parenting" by Dr. Sears. Especially since you work I think that it is a really sweet way for you all to reconnect.. Try not to worry about it. My 19 month old still does the same night waking and nursing back to sleep that he has since birth and he seems fine

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    132

    Default Re: Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

    Your little one will outgrow this eventually and it's not hurting anything. These are little bitty people after all! At two in the morning, I never felt like trying to convince my LO to go to sleep without milk even when that milk later came from a bottle (well, maybe I tried once and lost and that was the end of that!). He needed to sleep and so did I! I agree with Brittan, do what is best for you and take the medical advice as just that - advice.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    55

    Default Re: Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

    I agree with the above poster. These babies are only going to be babies for such a small slice of their life. Whats wrong with comforting the baby? All People eventually learn to go to sleep alone. I have a 8 and 5 year old that are GREAT sleepers I definantly helped them both get to sleep till they were almost three years old. Three has been the magic number for us so far. I am glad I spent those extra fleeting moments with both of them. I miss it.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

    Remember...your doctor is there for medical advice...not parenting advice. unless being up at night and nursing is medically damaging (haha, fat chance) then your doc can stick up his )*(&)*

    Sorry, feeling very annoyed tonight. you keep nursing that baby as much as she wants/needs you to...unless/until it becomes a problem. if the two of you are happy...why change things?


    leslie
    All over the world there exists in every society a small group of women who feel themselves strongly attracted to giving care to other women during pregnancy and childbirth. Failure to make use of this group of highly motivated people is regrettable and a sin against the principle of subsidiary. ~ Dr. Kloosterman, Chief of OB/GYN, Univ. of Amsterdam, Holland


    **Leslie**

    Mama to:
    Shiloh (5/6/06) Nursed for 13 months and Josephine (7/26/08) Nursed for 23.5 mos Currently nursing my new little firecracker, Finley Catherine, born on the 4th of July!!

  7. #7
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    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

    I love doctors....
    How many babies has your doctor nursed?
    If hes a male none!
    Mainstream parenting advice is what most of his parents are after so that's what they deal out.

    My kids one doctors talk went something like this....
    doctor ..."is she sleeping in a crib"
    Me "She has one..."
    and that was all that was said on the subject.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    329

    Default Re: Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

    My ped. has a little girl just 2 months older than my DD. At DD's 15 mo. well cu, I told her I still nurse Maya back to sleep. I was waiting for a lecture. Instead, I received a secretive smile that told me she probably was doing the same with her LO!

    Do what feels right for you and ignore what is essentially your doc's opinion. I plan on doing this for as long as DD needs me to. I tried withholding, but it was too frustrating for both of us! DD didn't understand why mommy was refusing her and I felt horrible for doing it.
    Last edited by Maya's Mom; December 28th, 2006 at 10:00 AM. Reason: spelling

  9. #9
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

    Ladies, your encouragement and support means so much. Thank you!
    Although DD and I are doing fine with this arrangement, DH is not happy because DD is not good at self-soothing to sleep, which makes it difficult for him at naptime and in the a.m. when I have to get ready for work and she is awake, not fully rested, but won't go back to sleep without mama. For some reason, lately, she will let me rock her to sleep but not him. He has been letting her CIO at naptime (long story there), so my theory is that she just doesn't trust him to stay with her and that is why she won't go to him, not a nursing-related issue. My DH disagrees.
    I was not at the doctor's appointment in question. DH said he did not complain about any sleep "problems" but when they asked if she was sleeping through the night, he said she was waking up to nurse, and they told him she should not be doing that because it was probably keeping her from learning to self-soothe at night. They also said that she should have no nutritional need for BM in the middle of the night at her age. I told DH that I questioned that advice because I had read somewhere that it is important for a child to learn to self-soothe between 3-5 years of age, not this early. But, I can't remember where I read that, so if anyone has more info on that I would appreciate it.
    Thank you again. There is even more to this issue between my and DH, which I don't have the energy to write about right now. Basically, my doc's recommendation supports my DH's position and I am having trouble standing up for myself. The whole issue is very upsetting and such a stressor for me (on top of this we are still battling thrush-my DH asked me whether weaning would cure it ). I just want to do what's best for my family. I know DH does, too, but we have different ideas about what that is. My DH thinks BFing is the root cause of these problems and doesn't think there is much benefit to BFing my DD at her age, and the doc's advice only validates him.
    Sorry, this is turning into a rant. I'm feeling down right now.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Help me respond to ped: 16 mo. old and nightwaking/BFing

    Quote Originally Posted by Maya's Mom View Post
    My ped. has a little girl just 2 months older than my DD. At DD's 15 mo. well cu, I told her I still nurse Maya back to sleep. I was waiting for a lecture. Instead, I received a secretive smile that told me she probably was doing the same with her LO!

    Do what feels right for you and ignore what is essentially your doc's opinion. I plan on doing this for as long as DD needs me to. I tried withholding, but it was too frustrating for both of us! DD didn't understand why mommy was refusing her and I felt horrible for doing it.
    Do you have any issues with caregivers getting her to sleep at naptime or any other time? What about night wakings?
    Thanks!

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

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