Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    7

    Red face single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

    hi.

    i am mum to 9 month old levi. sometimes i think no one can possibly understand our situation, but there're a lot of moms out there, so who knows?

    i am a single mom since day one. levi and i have always co-slept, and since i've never had any night relief do "what it takes" to get any amount of sleep. now, here i am with a little boy who suckles all night long. did i say *all*night*long*?! he's a good chunky monkey who bangs and flops and can scream with a shrill to break glass when he doesn't get his way. lately it's gotten worse. he'll nurse for 45 minutes essentially while asleep. when i pull away he loses it. i've had a couple of nights where i finally get up and go sleep on the couch, but after a couple of hours i give in and go back and let him nurse.

    what's worse is that he will not sleep by himself for longer than about a half hour. that's right. i put him down in his crib, there's much wailing and finally sleep. half hour later he's crying. it has always been this way. he has never slept for 3 or 4 or more hours. never.

    levi will not take a bottle, a sippy cup or a pacifier. he never really has. i keep trying with the pacifier and he just holds it and chews it.

    he may be teething, but i don't think this is the primary cause of his problems. i have tried a dose of tylenol and it doesn't appear to have any effect.

    i wonder if some of this may be related to separation anxiety... i work from home and if i pass through the room where he is with his babysitter i say hello and keep going and he starts bawling. this is new behavior. seems like he's much better when i don't make an appearance.

    there really isn't another room for him to sleep in here, and as i said, i'm a single mom, so i don't have night time help. somehow i thought this would sort of work itself out a little, but it seems to be getting worse. i thought to hire a sleep consultant who has "worked wonders" for my friends, but cash is tight these days...

    i was hoping to nurse until a year (he eats tons of solids), but am worried at this rate he'll never get off.

    any thoughts?????

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    207

    Default Re: single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

    I'm not in your situation and I don't know what to tell you honey other than no one in the college dorms sleep with their moms and suckle all night so at some point it will get better (not that I'm much help)

    But I wanted to let you know, I'm not getting any sleep either! (sometimes just knowing that someone else understands a little helps!)

    Good luck!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    50

    Default Re: single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

    Hi,
    My 22mth old still nt nurses and he sleeps with me. He would go thru stages and still sometimes does either when he is sick or teething or feeling insecure or even growing. These all seemed to pass and when he isn't going thru a stage like that he nurses briefly to sleep and in the morning when he wakes up. I've started putting limits on it during the day and I comply with him when I know he's tired. I can tell when he just wants to nurse out of boredom and when he really needs the security. It sounds as if your ds is going thru a stage and this will pass. My lll leader always says to me, "this too shall pass, don't fret too much about it." It always does too. Hope I helped you some.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    987

    Default Re: single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

    I gotta run cause I hear my dd coughing and waking up, but I'm a single mom too and sometimes my DD wants to nurse all the time. Not that this helps, but just wanted to let you know there are other moms in similar situations. Let us know how things are going.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    257

    Default Re: single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

    I think I have an idea of where you are coming from. I also have an almost 9 month old who nurses *all*night*long (literally). He is my third child. My DD coslept and nursed a lot but nothing like this. I have not had more than an hour or two of sleep at a time since he was born. It is absolutely exhausting. I was plenty rested with my DD but this is crazy. I have no energy to do much with any of my kids.....I'm just getting by. With you being a single parent, you must be beside yourself sometimes

    I imagine it must pass at some point. I keep thinking about CIO but I just can't bring myself to do it. I do feel like I am losing this entire year with my other two children, though. So, in my situation, I'm not letting my LO down but I feel like I'm letting my older two down everyday.

    The 9 month mark is high time for separation anxiety so I just keep thinking, "a few more weeks and it will go by". They do eventually move on and when they can talk, understand, and be reasoned with ( yes it happens!) you'll be able to get some more sleep. And, if you think about it, it's "only" three months until you hit the year and then things will be different. It really is a short time (but remember I'm right there with you!) and once it has passed you'll look back on it and realize that. Babies change a lot in 3 months so lets hope that ours will decide it is time for some sleep for everyone

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    37

    Default Re: single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

    I feel your pain!! I hadn't been on here for a few months, and came back today to see what was up, and to see if anyone had THIS same problem! My son is 8 1/2 months old, and just nurses all the time! He does the same thing about being asleep, sounds outside not bothering him, not even a flinch when the phone rings, but if I try to pull away, he screams in 2 seconds! Today it really made me upset, and I just had to leave him for a few minutes (about 5) to just cool off. My husband works nights, so he is not there to help, and we co-bed. The other problem is that I might put him to sleep at 7:30 or 8:00, but I need to stay up for a little while and work. If I sleep on the couch (to keep from waking him up) he will usually sleep until about 6AM. BUT, even if he happens to have been in his bed, and I just go in there and quietly lie down (his bed is next to our bed, but he usually sleeps in our bed anyway), it isn't 5 min. before he wakes up. He took a nap with my MIL when we were visiting for Thanksgiving, and I walked by the room he was sleeping in, door shut, and whispered something to my MIL. He woke up.

    Anyone have this problem with a super light sleeper? I always heard that it was good to "sleep like a baby" but I would not want to sleep that lightly! Anyway, I understand, and hopefully this is just a phase.....

    Hugs and prayers going your way!
    Victoria

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Posts
    893

    Default Re: single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

    As far as the co-sleeping goes, my DD is about to be 15 months old and will not sleep by herself. She sleeps on me for naps (on my chest) and at night DH is home, so I do get a slight repreive and a few hours to myself, but if DH gets up, or she wakes up and realizes I am not there, the screaming begins. I understand about the co-sleeping, but I wouldn't have it any other way. She has never slept in her crib (big waste of money there, it's a expensive laundry basket to us).

    My DD also will not take a bottle, and just starting to use the sippy cup (with water only in it, she freaks out if mommy milk is in it).

    Good Luck!!!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    317

    Default Re: single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

    My SO works offshore and is gone 4-6 weeks at a time and home for 2, so while he is gone its me & two toddlers. I co-sleep with both and nurse DD (16 months) at night. When it really bothers me I gently unlatch and turn over, she generally doesn't wake, but if she does I tell her gently to "lay down" and rub her back for a sec then lay back down myself. Have you tried cuddling without nursing? It sounds like maybe he just wants to be close.
    Amanda Mom to James (2/25/04) and nursling Alice (8/24/05)

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

    thanks mamas for your support. sounds like some of it is possibly a temperament issue as to me having created the "monster." interesting... last night i fell asleep on the couch and got 3 hours of sleep in a row. oh yeah!
    happy 2007 to everyone! -jen

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    94

    Default Re: single mom, co-sleeping, human pacifier. help!

    I have to say that I am happy to find this sight. I am so in the same boat as most of you that posted here on this thread. I am a single Mom of a 9 month old that suckles all night, won't nap, I can go on and on. But my point is thank you for posting and making me feel not alone. I have been very upset with this constant nursing situation and lack of sleep and just waiting for the one year mark so it can be over, but that is not what I want either!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •