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Thread: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    8,018

    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    Quote Originally Posted by epbrown View Post
    I started the thread that Molly bumped up...which I appreciate getting to re-read now that we have reached the 1 year mark.

    Dh and I talked about breastfeeding beyond 1 year several times over the past 6 months. When it became obvious I was going to breastfeed her for a year, he started thinking, what's going to stop her now ? A 1-year old seemed really old to my dh when dd was 6 months old, but now that she has reached the 1-year mark, she still seems like the baby she was yesterday.
    That is exactly right. When my DD turned one year old, I just looked at her and thought, you are still my baby. The thought of weaning at that point seemed so wrong in every way. In a way, information about the increased benefits of nursing past one year, etc. only confirmed what I already knew in my soul.
    Speaking of nursing acrobatics and silliness-DD has been the Queen of the distracted latch lately, literally trying to look at books and face outward while she’s nursing. It is funny, but I’ve not been allowing it much any more (too painful ). Anyway, last night she was doing that and I said, “Sorry, honey, please don’t nurse like that,” and set her down on the floor. I was laying on my side on the sofa. She just turned toward me and latched on like that, standing next to me while I lay there. I started laughing and my DH just shook his head.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    oh my I've had thoose moments with each of my kids..
    At some point we just said look you can only nurse in bed and that's it..
    limits started with outside the home when we were out at about 1 1/ 2.
    And now that dd is older She was 3 in June she doesn't ask anymore she knows it's for bed time and that's it.
    It's a good teaching tool for them. Too learn all kinds of things about life, how to wait and how to be gentle and kind.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
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    651

    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    My ds will be a year next month and my dh was really weirded out about me going much beyond a year at first too, but now that we're almost there and ds still nurses around 8 times a day, and I'm the one that takes care of him all day, he doesn't say it anymore and even brags how healthy his son is because his mama takes such good care of him! I found that things like this I just wouldn't say anything and just quietly keep nursing, and since it became so normal for him to see, he kinda just stopped mentioning it and forgot about weaning...now obviously this won't work for everyone, but if you're the one home alone with your lo all day, then just tell your dh that you'll do it privately. Now if he's worried about the psychology of it all (like your lo might be able to remember it and that's weird or something...go to askdrsears.com and you'll find all kinds of good info on bf and how good it is for their emotional health...plus, baby's early memories are of things that stood out for them or startled them...something he's done every day probably won't be recallable or weird for him.

    Now this all depends on your situation of course, so you could always educate him, esp go to the World Health Organization, they've got tons of good info, and maybe you could bargain with him...I'll only bf at home or in private rooms etc that way its not "embarrasing" for him....since that's what he seems to be most worried about. anyhow, just mho, good luck!

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    36

    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    hi there, i'm so sorry to hear that you are in this situation we kind of have the same issues here (part of it is cultural by us too). when things are going well DH supports it,but as soon as there is something he says "why don't you just stop bf'ng". It really upsets me too that he doesn't understand all the physical and emotional benefits of it. Will also try to get him to read up on it.Ithink presenting the medical/physical benefits may work in our cases. best of luck!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    207

    Smile Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    I've found some great info on extended breastfeeding (I really wish it wasn't refered to like that though! I HATE that term!!!) I plan on attacking him with it one day this week! LOL (J/K) But I do plan to bring it up.

    Thank you all for sharing your stories and insights!!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    18,063

    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    I don't like that term either...
    try toddler lead weaning.. I like that beter..
    funny thing a few days ago I tried to sneak down stairs before My 3 year old wanted to have her morning nurse. She just nurses at bed and 1st thing..
    I was having a pms moment and didn't feal like it. Anyway hubby was up and she followed me downstairs and helped herself.. He said
    Aren't you a little bit to big for that,....
    She unlatched said "Nope" and went back to nursing...
    take that hubby.....lol
    he asked and she told him.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    207

    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    He said
    Aren't you a little bit to big for that,....
    She unlatched said "Nope" and went back to nursing...
    LOL Out of the mouths of babes!

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    23

    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    When DD #1 was a baby, I originally thought I would nurse until she was 18 months old, max. Then as she got older, I decided I would allow her to self-wean. DH was against this at first, but as she got older and he realized how much she loved nursing, he was a lot softer about the subject. Now she is 29 months and still nursing, along with her 4 month old sister. I think as your son gets older, your DH will see that it's not so weird. I admit even when I was nursing a newborn for the first time, I thought it was strange that someone would nurse a two year old.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    76

    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    LOL, sounds like his wife is pretty smart too! Go for the stuff they can understand!! LOL
    Quote Originally Posted by andrea_ohio View Post
    my hubby thought it was weird untill he figured out it was less work for him.
    lol....
    he's a smart cookie. if you present it so that he will hardly ever have to put a baby/toddler to bed you might win his heart....that putting babies to bed is hard work!
    Does he have a cheap side? That's part of my hubby too when we talked about less doctors visits and no cans of formula ect....

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    143

    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    Unfortunalty I've seen both sides of this. I have been married 2 times with a DH that was all for BF how ever long I liked and now another is not. I have 2 kids from each. I quit BF my 3rd (first for my 2nd DH and me) at 5 weeks or so cause I had to go back to work and he wasn't very supportive at all, and I never could pump very well with my first two so just ended up giving my 3rd formula. I now have my last born on 4-14-06 and needless to say DH is just the same, godforbid if I need to NIP. He thinks I'm going to stop at a year and I might or might not, but I don't talk about it much anymore and for some reason he don't seem against it except if I was to NIP. I guess my suggestion now that I thought about it all here is tooo see why your DH is not for extended Bf. It may not be what you think. Then maybe you can give better reasons or avoid what he is uncomfortable about KWIM?

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