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Thread: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Question anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    I breastfed Ephram for 5 1/2 months. He lost intrest and I ha no support and was not in a postion to 'fight' him to stay on the breast. (Long story)

    With Malachi I'd like to breastfed for at least 2 years. My husband however is agaisnt it. HE thinks (like many people in our culture)that it is disgusting and weird for a child that age to still be breastfeeding. He's very supportive of my breastfeeding, just not extended breastfeeding.

    I'm working on convienceing him, but so far it's not working. I was wondering if anyone here had a husnband who also felt this way. How did you deal with it?

    Sorry for tyops NAK

  2. #2
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    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    well this just came to me so I am not sure if it'll work - or if it's even reasonable

    but if you have resources to side with your arguement. (which I am sure you do).. tell him to do a bit of research and give you scientific proof to back up his argument... see what he says then... That way at least communication is opened up and it's not just " well thats the way I feel" kind of thing. KWIM???

    This situation kind of goes with a saying I saw on mothering.com:

    "A paradigm is what you think; until you really think about it"


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  3. #3
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    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    Mom2 E&M- I just bumped up an older thread on this topic! It is pretty long- a lot of people have this issue. My DH is still a reluctant supporter, but a little better.

    Molly

    Loving mama to JP (DS, 1/03 ~ nursed 6 mos), EL (DD1, 9/05 ~ nursed 4 yrs), EJ (DD2, 3/08 ~ nursed 3 yrs 9 mos), and
    JM (DD3, 6/12 ~ currently nursing), all born naturally
    Devoted wife to SAHD P, my hero
    A few of my favorite things that I've discovered on the forum: co-sleeping, baby-wearing, tandem nursing, baby-led solids, cloth diapering, APing, selective vaccination...the list goes on

  4. #4
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    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mom2Ephram&Malachi View Post
    I breastfed Ephram for 5 1/2 months. He lost intrest and I ha no support and was not in a postion to 'fight' him to stay on the breast. (Long story)

    With Malachi I'd like to breastfed for at least 2 years. My husband however is agaisnt it. HE thinks (like many people in our culture)that it is disgusting and weird for a child that age to still be breastfeeding. He's very supportive of my breastfeeding, just not extended breastfeeding.

    I'm working on convienceing him, but so far it's not working. I was wondering if anyone here had a husnband who also felt this way. How did you deal with it?

    Sorry for tyops NAK
    any ideas on why he is against it? why is it disgusting or weird to him? If you have a good understanding of what is driving his opinion, you may be able to present your "case" more effectively.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    Molly=Thanks--I'll check out the other thread.

    #3=I am giving him bits and peices of info each time it is brought up. And just found more research today to back up nursing past 1 year!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    my hubby thought it was weird untill he figured out it was less work for him.
    lol....
    he's a smart cookie. if you present it so that he will hardly ever have to put a baby/toddler to bed you might win his heart....that putting babies to bed is hard work!
    Does he have a cheap side? That's part of my hubby too when we talked about less doctors visits and no cans of formula ect....

  7. #7
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    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    Andrea is right on. There are benifits for the whole family. I also recommend finding breastfed toddlers (preferably well behaved ones) to introduce to him. I am fortunate to have a comunity of breastfeeding friends and their children are delightful. My husband knows all the kids and likes them and I think that really helps normalize it and shows that our culture is changing. Of course, my husband, while not too keen on the idea of a nursing three year old, is also disappointed when a baby is weaned really young too. Because of his job, he is very aware of the health benefits.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    My husband is the same way. He wants me to start weaning at one year and replace nursing with whole milk. We just talked about this the other day and I told him that while I am fine with this, the bedtime and nap time nursings will be the last to go. It is a comfort issue both for me and Wyatt. We still have about 4 months to go, but I think we both agree that a crabby baby is not better than a weaned baby. So in that regard he is flexible.
    I think with us, because he has been so supportive with the breastfeeding until one year, that I can give a little on my end. At least I know that he was given one year of the best start possible! My main thing is I do not want to hold so hard and fast to the one year cut off. I would like to work slowly with it and see how it goes. I know that I do not want to still nurse a 3 year old (just me) but I do not want to get up on his one year birthday and say no more. There has to be a balance.
    Not that that answers your question at all, but maybe keep doing your research and talk about it without getting angry or upset. Listen to him, why does he feel this way, any facts to back him up, or is just a personal feeling. Talk about concerns and thoughts. When presented with the research you've done, let him look it over and then talk about what he thinks.
    Last edited by wyattsmom; December 19th, 2006 at 08:35 AM.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    I started the thread that Molly bumped up...which I appreciate getting to re-read now that we have reached the 1 year mark.

    Dh and I talked about breastfeeding beyond 1 year several times over the past 6 months. When it became obvious I was going to breastfeed her for a year, he started thinking, what's going to stop her now ? A 1-year old seemed really old to my dh when dd was 6 months old, but now that she has reached the 1-year mark, she still seems like the baby she was yesterday. We haven't really talked about it again, but I know we are going to breastfeed through the cold and flu season, and after reading the LLL book, How Weaning Happens, I really feel that if we wait until she is 2 and then start some of the gentle weaning techniques, it will be easier on all of us. That, of course, is providing she doesn't wean sometime this year. I know there will come a time in the next 6 months that dh will want to talk about weaning again, but I am armed with good references now, and armed with the confidence that its not in any way weird. I kind of thought that maybe once she turned a year it would be weird. But the older she gets, the younger that age seems to me...does that make any sense?

    This morning we were in the shower and she was popping on and off and laughing, and I was laughing at her. Dh was in bed and said wth is going on in there ? I said she is playing with her nursies. She does the same thing with a bottle nipple that she has in her "drawer". It is really no different. Anyway...dh said...you two are sooo weird, but he said it jokingly and lovingly. I think he has finally realized that its not sexual, in any way (and I have a hard time comprehending how anyone could derive that it could in any way be sexual, but alas, a lot of people do!).

    I don't know if anything I said makes any sense or helps in any way. I hightly recommend the book I talked about above. It is a great read!

    Erin
    Wife to a grizzly
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  10. #10
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    Default Re: anyone here who's DH didn't agree with extended BF?

    Yes it is SOOOOO much easier to wean a two year old!! Well, two and a half. Dd hit a point where very suddenly I could cut her down from 6-8 times a day to 2 times a day. And I'M the one hesitating with those last two. Before then, it was a lot of work to get her to nurse less. Now I can just say, "No, it's not time to nurse." That's it!!! It's like, who is this child?

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