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Thread: Schedules & clock watching - make it stop!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    2,700

    Default Schedules & clock watching - make it stop!

    I think I'm going insane!

    When my son was first born, I struggled for 2 weeks to get him to latch on and feed properly, and he was still losing weight. It was a horrible time in my life - post unplanned c-section and dealing with a baby I was convinced was going to die because I couldn't feed him. Thankfully, I eventually got it all figured out (thanks to several meetings with LC's at the hospital), and now at 2 months old, he is 1/2 LB off doubling his birth weight - and it's all breast milk.

    My problem is, from those first horrible 2 weeks on, I have this mentality that whenever my baby is awake I have to feed him to try andf fatten him up. I constantly watch the clock - every feeding session is timed. I don't want to do this, but it has become compulsive. I get really anxious if he sleeps for longer than 3 hours during the day. I get nervous butterflies and struggle with waking him up to feed. When he spits up, I feel like a failure and I worry that he's not getting enough food again and will lose weight like before. It's horrible, and I don't know what to do about this!

    I read so many books in the beginning that said to time feedings, and that feedings should be 1.5-3 hours apart, and now that advice is ruling my life. Sorry - I just needed to get that off my chest...http://forums.llli.org/images/smilies/redface.gif

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    1,987

    Default Re: Schedules & clock watching - make it stop!

    Good for you for overcoming the early difficulties! It sounds like there is now some anxiety that is interfering with your everyday life. Maybe you could talk to your dr. about a mom friendly counselor to talk through these issues with. They could probably help you with some behavioral solutions that would work in pretty short order. Or you could also call a LLL Leader. They are good sounding boards with mothering experience.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    866

    Default Re: Schedules & clock watching - make it stop!

    I am pasting this in from a prior post I wrote. Some of it pertains to your issues, it is a great book......I used to be just like you, I regress sometimes...but have faith in yourself, relax a bit, your LO will tell you when they are hungry, they won't starve...

    I am reading a book entitled My Child Won't Eat.....Le Leche League International..written by Carlos Gonzalez, M.D.

    I recommend this book to every mother...I am going to type a good read from the book-Chapter 2-"Your Child Knows What He or She Needs"


    When the child takes both sides, he rarely empties the second breast. We could simplify this and say that he/she drinks 2/3 skim milk and 1/3 cream. The controlling factors in milk composition are still being studied and what we don't know is probably greater than what we do know.

    And you thought your baby always ate the same thing? Did you imagine it was boring to spend months drinking only milk? You child has at his/her disposal a large selection of "menu" items from which to choose, from a light soup to creamy dessert. What your child does at the breast to obtain exactly what he/she needs is pure engineering. The child has total and perfect control over his/her diet as long as he can change the variables at will. This is what feeding on demand means: let the baby decide when he wants to nurse, how long to be at the breast, and if he/she wants one or both sides.

    If a baby is not allowed to modify the frequency or the duration of the feedings, and is not allowed to decide if he/she wants to nurse on one side or both, they are lost. He/she will not drink the milk they need, but is stuck with whatever they get. If the diet is too far removed from the real needs, he/she will have problems gaining weight appropriately, or will spend the day hungry and fussy. This is why breastfeeding on a schedule rarely works and the stricter the schedule, the more catastrophic the results. Babies need to nurse irregularly, only then can they get a balanced diet.

    From his/her very first day, though he/she seemed to be drinkning only milk, your child has been choosing his/her diet from a wide array of choices, and has always chosen wisely, both in quantity and quality.


    I learned many many things in this book, from nursing, to bottle feeding to solids, but right now with nursing, most importantly, don't look at the clock, but at my LO. Don't pull LO off to nurse on both breasts, stop wondering why LO pulled off so early, stop over analyzing everything he does, etc..etc..etc..let LO lead the way.


    BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!!!
    Leslie- Momma to Aiden 02/28/06 AND Owen 2/28/08...What timing

    Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.--Jimmy Buffet


  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
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    79

    Default Re: Schedules & clock watching - make it stop!

    I agree with the pp's but hear alot of the same emotions that I experienced with my first child. Looking back now, that anxiety, obsessiveness and feelings of failure, in my case were likely symptoms of post partum depression (or anxiety). This time around, I am taking an antidepressant and feel so much more laid back. You definitely have some risk factors for PPD including a labor/delivery that didn't go as planned, and early difficulties with nursing your baby.
    Hopefully my post doesn't offend, I wish someone would've pointed my depression out to me. If you think this could be it, call your doctor, there are lots of good medicines out there, and lots of great therapists, either/both could help.

    Best wishes,
    Amy

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Smile Re: Schedules & clock watching - make it stop!

    Thank you for your encouragement and support. I think I'll definitely purchase the book you mention, Aiden's Mommy. Also - if the problem persists, I'll take your advice, Amy, and talk to someone about my feelings. I must say, just reading Aiden's Mommy's post has made me feel so much more relaxed - it really really helped to hear that my baby won't starve, and he'll let me know when he is hungry. I'm honestly feeling so much better after reading that. Today, I turned the clock away and am feeding him as much as he wants and as often as he wants. I used to feed him every hour or so during the day, when he wasn't really hungry - and I think this resulted in poor eating habits, and snacks instead of meals. He is feeding much better, and for longer, already. Also, he's smiling more than ever today!

    Thanks again everyone for your encouragement and support, and especially to you, Aiden's Mommy, for taking the time to paste in the excerpt from the book.

    Rochelle

  6. #6
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    Aug 2006
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    Default Re: Schedules & clock watching - make it stop!

    Glad to hear you are feeling better about things. One thing that helped me when my lo was striking for a couple of days was my sister pointing out that there are babies who go all night without eating (mine isn't one of them), so my so going 5 or 6 hours at a time wouldn't hurt him. (At the time, he usually nursed at least every couple of hours so it was a big change.) When we are so in tune with our babies changes in eating patterns are difficult to deal with.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
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    866

    Default Re: Schedules & clock watching - make it stop!

    I am SO glad that I helped. Keep up the good work, I have faith that you will continue to feel better. And remember some days will be tough, it will seem as though you have regressed- tomorrow is always a new day!!!

    Leslie- Momma to Aiden 02/28/06 AND Owen 2/28/08...What timing

    Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.--Jimmy Buffet


  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    79

    Default Re: Schedules & clock watching - make it stop!

    Glad to hear you got the encouragement you need!

    Best wishes,
    Amy

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