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Thread: I need emotional support

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Posts
    9

    Default Re: I need emotional support

    Ok so I just pulled up the map and apparently there are no LLL groups in South Ga! The closest 1 is an hr away and it looks like they don't have meetings, maybe I am looking at something wrong... Hopefully it will pick up in the next year

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    4,029

    Default Re: I need emotional support

    I'll try not to go on and on, but here's my story.

    I had my twins at 37-1/2 weeks, with an uncomplicated delivery. I fully intended to bf, too, and started that way in the hospital. I had some issues that I now know could have been overcome (and the babies did, too), but long story short, I stopped bfing when my sons were a week old. I cried and felt really guilty. For nearly 3 years, I second-guessed my decision, as I found out more information, and realized I could have done things differently to be successful at bfing twins. I beat myself up over it.

    Then I had my youngest DS, and successfully bfed him for 13-1/2 months--never a drop of formula. I realized when I bfed him, that it WAS difficult in the beginning for me, and that it was OK that I didn't bf my twins past 1 week of age, and to quit second guessing myself.

    My moral? Use your experience as power. Find out all you can about breastfeeding, so that you can make good decisions about your medical care (in case interventions can sabotage breastfeeding), and know about the challenges and pitfalls so that they can be overcome. At the same time, though, realize that nothing can change your love for your child--no matter how they're fed.


    Lisa

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: I need emotional support

    I don't know if this will help or not, but some women who have a lot of extra stress during/after delivery end up not producing very well. My advice is to let yourself off the hook. I don't mean don't try to bf lo#2, but don't put so much pressure on yourself. Think back to the olden days (pre formula) they had wet nurses for the women who couldn't produce enough milk to feed their children, so this problem has been around for a long time. You are not the first woman to have problems with your supply, and you won't be the last either. I commend you for wanting to give your baby the best, and in order to do so, you have to lighten up a little. The more you stress yourself, the more likely you are to fail, because you set yourself up for failure with the what if's.

    This outlook may not do as well for you as it did for me, but I'm going to say it anyway. I know I will probably make a lot of die hard nursers angry, but this is what got me through. I will do my best to nurse, but if I don't succeed, it's not the end of the world, there is always formula. My child will still eat and grow up healthy because I love him enough to sacrifice everything for him and I did everything I could for him. This got me through the rough times, and we are going on 12 mo and still nursing. You just have to know that you did your best, and be happy knowing that you will always do your best for your lo's. Also, don't let anyone put undue pressure on you to do one thing or the other, you do what is right for your family.

    Remember, you are a great mom because you care so much that you are making yourself crazy over this. No one can ever tell you otherwise.

    Good luck and I will say a prayer for you.

    Dayna

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    17

    Default Re: I need emotional support

    If there is not a LLL in your area, I know WIC has a breastfeeding support program/group. You don't have to qualify for WIC, all you have to do is contact your local office and sign up for the group, or find out about the support program.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    348

    Default Re: I need emotional support

    Hi Brittany,

    I did not read all of the pp's, but I wanted to share with you my experience as well.

    My first DD only nursed exclusively for 6 1/2 weeks and we finally stopped altogether at 3 1/2 months because I was not producing (tried pumping when I went back to work). Because we had started supplementing formula early on, we ended up just making the switch. It was frustrating to me. I cried quite a bit and felt like a complete failure.

    I too was very anxious going into my second pregnancy. I wanted so badly for BF to work this time. I found this site to be infinitely helpful. I also met with an IBCLC after my second DD was born. This time around we are doing great!! My DD is almost 10 weeks old and is still EBF like a champ.

    So, my advice to you is NOT to stress out about it until you have another baby. Worrying about it now will not do you any good. Read up on everything before the baby is born, go to LLL meetings, ask lots of questions...when you have your next baby, you will be anxious about BF, but you will have this wealth of knowledge with you. Get all the support you can in the hospital too.

    Your second time around may be nothing like your first, like in my case. Just remember to keep an open mind and try to stay as positive as possible!!

    Good luck with TTC!
    Last edited by DebiMommyTo2; December 19th, 2006 at 07:36 AM. Reason: spelling :o)

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    534

    Default Re: I need emotional support

    Brittany I can completely relate to you! Due to my 1st baby being in the NICU I pumped, and I got VERY little. Once she came home she would not latch, and basically she went onto formula. I too morned our BFing loss.

    When I got pregnant again I was determine to make BFing work this time! I attended LLL meetings while pregnant (highly suggest that!) and I read every book I could get my hands on. Oh and I used this forum a lot! So I had Chloe on Oct 4th and we have been nursing happily since she entered this world! We have had no real issues at all! So you can do it!

    Best of luck! We are all here for you!

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    780

    Default Re: I need emotional support

    You did nothing wrong To beat yourself up is to put more stress on your shoulders - that is counter productive to your goal. Your son loves you unconditionally .... a new baby will love you unconditionally ... YOU should love you unconditionally too! Good luck with everything

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