I have tried to deal with this on my own, but it has become too painful and this is the only place I thought I might could come. If this is wrong, or in the wrong place I appoligise.
The whole time I was pregnant I wanted to BF. I was induced at 36 weeks due to pre-e. They gave me magnesium, and the nurse told me it might affect my milk supply, but it would still come in.
After my son was born, I nursed. I spoke with the lactation consultant in the hospital and she worked with me. Only 1 breast was producing milk, and very little. They had me add formula thru a syringe to keep him hydrated and gave me a manual pump to help up my supply. I went home still doing all this.
When I got home it got worse. I was making even less colostrum in the 1 breast that was producing. I had no support from anyone, and was told over and over, just give him formula, he'll be fine, etc. I kept adding formula, but was still trying to BF. After about a week, I still had no milk,no engorgement, nothing and when I would pump an hour in I had about 1 pinky full of milk off 1 breast. I tried everything that I could think of, and after about 3 more weeks, we went to formula.
I was severly depressed about it, and went on meds. I felt a little better.
My son is now 11 months old. I am beginning to feel worse and worse again, esp after watching the breastfeeding show on House of Babies last week. I look at people I know and think, they are nursing, why couldn't I? What did I do to not be able to nourish my own flesh and blood. I must be a bad mother.
Now that we are tossing around the idea of another baby, I am more scared about Bf-ing than anything. What if the same thing happens? What if I DO breastfeed, will my oldest think I didn't love him as much because he got formula?
I am so depressed, someone please help me. Tell me what happend and what to do next time so this doesn't happen again. I feel so empty and let down that I couldn't do this one natural great thing.