but because I miss those momants with her, and miss being able to produce milk. It also feels so weird not to be able to take her to breast when she's upset! (Sitting here in the middle of the night with a breast pump, crying right now). Or not being able to nurse her to sleep! I feel like mom deprived of my mom powers, basically I feel less like a mom :-(
Ugh this must be so hard! I understand what you are saying.