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Thread: Help please. In desperate need of help

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Help please. In desperate need of help

    If it were me I would try nursing him down. If he is sleeping from 10-3 without waking, that may be all he can do at this age. 5 hours of unbroken sleep is sleeping "through the night" according to the official definition.

    What about snack or water? Sometimes kids this age really are just hungry overnight. I kept snacks by the bed when trying to night wean.

    Could it be, he has to pee or poop and is perhaps not wanting to go in the diaper?

    I would also suggest just look at what might cause general sleep disturbance. Is he too hot, too cold, not enough light, too much light, too much noise, too little noise, too much overall screen time, or screen time too close to bed time.
    My kids are all getting their seasonal allergies right now, and that can cause more restless sleep. As could just a cold or congestion.
    Very rarely, a food intolerance might cause very broken sleep.

  2. #12

    Default Re: Help please. In desperate need of help

    I've been trying to nurse him down when he wakes early in the morning and it still takes him about 1 1/2 hours to go to sleep

    The nursing is really starting to take a toll and I'm really beginning to hate it
    Every little thing, anytime I tell him no to any little thing he wants boov.

    Then if I don't nurse him right away it turns into full blown meltdown. I've been setting limits on the nursing and it seems that his tantrums have increased and are worse than ever.

    I want to wean him, hubby wants me to wean him I just don't know how I can when it's something he's so reliant on.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Help please. In desperate need of help

    If you want to wean, I suggest the books How Weaning Happens or the Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning. Either will do. They contain lots of info about how the weaning process works and contain many ideas for gently encouraging weaning. I also suggest the book Your Two Year Old by Ames and Ilg. Not about nursing or weaning, just about what studies indicate is entirely normal behavior at this age.

    When it comes to weaning, there is no right or wrong about it, it is whatever works best for you and your child (and sometimes this might be opposing but that is ok). First, I suggest, think long and hard about if YOU indeed want your child to wean entirely and soon. In the end, it will be you doing the work of weaning or not weaning, and living with the consequences/results either way. Your husband can help or be supportive which ever you choose.

    So, You could make your peace with continuing to nurse for now, find a way to continue to set limits but still nurse, or you could continue to press on with the weaning process, as you choose.

    Of course you can wean your child if that is what you want. You are the parent, and in the end what you say goes. But your child is going to have the reaction he is going to have. You cannot stop the reaction, he is entitled to it. You can just learn to deal with it and of course there are strategies to use to reduce/avoid tantrums but none that are always going to work. Tantrums are normal all kids have them to some degree.

    Sometimes we want the opposite of what our kids want, and the choice then is whether you are going to press the issue and take the consequences of doing so or let it go. Again, no right or wrong because nursing is not harmful or destructive or dangerous. It is easier to hold the line when your child won't get in a car seat or wants to write with permanent marker on your friend's leather couch, even if holding the line there results in meltdowns and tantrums. Nursing is different because there really is not a right or wrong about it, just what is right for you. But, you can still hold that line if that is what is best.

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