Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Confidence wavering in relation to toddler feeding

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    97

    Default Confidence wavering in relation to toddler feeding

    I'm not sure what I'm looking for - I guess I just want people to chime in and tell me I'm doing good and I am right in my instincts ? It's a long and rambling post, I just feel like I need support/encouragement.

    It's amazing how drastically attitudes change once you've made it past the 1 year mark, particularly in a country with one of the lowest breastfeeding rates in the world (under 1% of babies are breastfed still at 6 months, for example)

    So. We EBF on demand and have done since birth. Aiming to let my lo (13.5 months old) self wean. We do baby led solids and she would graze on finger foods and is enjoying trying to use a spoon/fork. To be honest, solid foods are hit and miss. Some days she eats what seems like loads (whole chicken skewers, a big plate of ravioli etc), other days she lives off a handful of blueberries and cheerios. I pretty much just try to offer her healthy choices throughout the day, don't force her to eat anything and still breastfeed on demand.

    My little girl started daycare 5 weeks ago, and I had been sending in 4oz of milk with her (I had no real stash so I was just sending in what I pump the day before etc). She hasn't been interested in taking expressed milk since day 1, even in her own wee sippy cup for independent drinking. So I'm still pumping daily but freezing the milk and I don't really know what I'm going to do with it - maybe try and use some for nights out in the future? I'll probably wean from it soon as it's a bit of a pain trying to find somewhere private to pump and using up my entire lunch break navigating that when she isn't drinking it! Anyway, my little girl didn't eat for the the first couple of weeks. Slowly, she is building up to eating some finger foods for them (cheese, crackers, fruits, toast, rice cakes and she'll have a go at yogurts). Today she had a bit of their proper dinners for the first time (veggie curry) which was great news, I guess? The daycare staff seem great, she responds well to them, she has slowly settled, she does nap for them (which was shocking since she is a nurse to sleep no substitutes at all within the home) but they seem to have little experience of breastfed/baby led solids babies. The other wee ones there seem to all be on big bottles plus lots of spoon feeding. So every day its the same story - they run through the meal/snacks list and my little girl refused xyz, but had a little of this and a little of that. Every day I say no problem, oh well, she'll get there. They are definitely working with me on trying her on different finger foods instead and letting her feed herself but I can't shake the feeling that they think she needs to eat more more more. And so my self-doubt is creeping in - maybe she isn't eating enough? Yet, when they talk to me I think, actually the grazing she does in daycare is like at home, if not better!

    Milk-wise she still feeds in the morning in bed, then for comfort before I leave her at daycare, a big feed when I pick her up, on/off drinks until bedtime, a big goodnight nurse to sleep and then we bedshare so she drinks on/off during the night (and she is drinking plenty at night as we have to change her in the middle of the night as nappy is FULL and is FULL again in the morning despite being in bigger sizes at night - if we don't change she soaks through her pjs). So of course now I'm getting (from various sources) that I need to stop giving her milk, that it's empty calories filling her up, she needs to separate from me and have more real food....I obviously don't believe any of this, but the last few weeks of 'food food food' being an 'issue' is just wearing me a bit thin. Re-reading My Child Won't Eat to keep me sane.

    Sooooo....reassurance and support to say my instincts are right? I mean my lo is getting lots of nutrients from milk, plus then I'm offering her nutritious foods daily (even if she's not 100% predictable in eating them) and I'm trying to get her to have multi-vitamins everyday (though she doesn't like me putting a spoon near her and I can't guarantee she'll eat a certain finger food so it can be hard ensuring she gets these daily). She's always been 91st-98th centile weight-wise and she doesn't appear to have lost any weight (house scales only, they don't weigh them at this age unless I make a doctor's appointment) though she is leaning out now she is walking everywhere all the time. Plus I'm trying to trust her to eat what she needs and tell me what she needs (and offering frequently). She knows how to sign for food, so when she wants solids she'll use that sign and actively shake her head 'no' if offered milk

    Help me block out my worries and talk positive sense into me!
    Last edited by @llli*jen.r24; October 26th, 2016 at 01:59 PM.

    Mama to a little girl Sept 2015... EBF and BLS
    Baby wearing Mama and Dada
    Co-sleeping family and loving it
    Gentle and positive parenting

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,753

    Default Re: Confidence wavering in relation to toddler feeding

    Have you read Kiss Me by Gonzalez as well? This will give you further reassurance... Also I think Jack Newman has some choice comments somewhere for the breastmilk is empty calories nonsense. But you need look no further than your child for your proof that this is utter nonsense.

    It sounds like your child is adjusting well to daycare and overall you like them. This is great! I am sure it is true they have almost no experience with a breastfed toddler. So they will have to learn from you and your child. I think if you remain calm and continue to act as if your child's intake of food (or lack thereof) is normal (as of course it is) then a new way of thinking about food will eventually make its way into their thinking. If you start feeling hounded by them, you can always say that a pediatrician told you your child's intake was normal because that is what Gonzalaez says in his book and he is a pediatrician.

    At some point several years into motherhood, it occurred to me that when it came to parenting, just about everyone had an opinion, those opinions frequently clashed, and few people bothered about the facts, if indeed solid facts were even available. In other words I realized I might was well follow my own opinion (and that of trusted sources that made sense to me) and stop worrying about what anyone else thought. This was a very freeing moment for me. I still have doubts about parenting issues of course, everyday- but if they are brought about by the (usually uninformed) comments of others rather than something that is a real concern to me, I am able to shake them off easily.
    Last edited by @llli*maddieb; October 26th, 2016 at 09:05 PM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    24,845

    Default Re: Confidence wavering in relation to toddler feeding

    Amen! Opinions are like feet: everyone has them, and they all stink. Just go with your own feelings- it sounds like you are doing great!

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •