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Thread: split decision

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    987

    Default split decision

    Ok, so I was just "somewhat" offered a job at a considerably higher salary than I was earning when I worked before LO was born. The problem is that I am so used to spending all my time with my daughter. She is only 10 months old and has only knwon me to take care of her. The othe problem is that the job is about 45 mins away, possibly more with traffic. I always thought I would go back to work when she is a year old, which she almost is ! I know you ladies can't amke this decision for me, but it is sooo hard. SOmetimes I feel so overwhelmed with taking car eof my high need little girl that I think having a "regular" job would be easier. However, ialso realize that this new job would be in addition to being mommy. I can financially afford to stay home for a few more months, but I'm ?afraid an opportunuty like this wont come along again anytime soon. In a fantasy world, I would find a PT job closer to home. Thisis FT and kind of far away. Any similar experiences any of you would care to share? I'm also going to post this in another area, so sorry for the double post.
    Last edited by JCDearr; December 8th, 2006 at 03:44 AM. Reason: edit

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    522

    Default Re: split decision

    Does the opportunity itself sound interesting to you? Is it the kind of work you'd like to do in the long run? I am glad I went back to work and enjoy it for the most part. It is hard though.

    It sounds like you want to take the position. Can you take it and not start for a month so you can get everyone prepared?

    Good luck with your decision!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    18,063

    Default Re: split decision

    have you looked into the cost of day care yet?
    maybe that will change your mind.
    unless the Job is a realy great paying job then you might not make that much $$$ after you pay for day care and all the extras you need when working. plus the cost of driving that far to work everyday.....
    What does your so think about it?
    My hubbies mom was never around for them, she didn't work but was busy doing her own thing. Mostly staying up late and sleeping all day. That's another story but before we had kids we talked it over and desided that I would not work outside the home untill after the kids were in school.
    Now for about 10 years I had day care kids, and that worked out well it gave me some spending $$$ and something to do all day while he was at work.
    When our 3 son came along my hubby wanted me to stop watching kids so I did... Now that our 4th child turned 3 in June I am thinking about getting a couple of kids when school starts in the fall. IT would be part time mostly and it wouldn't be alot of $$$ but I will still stay home untill dd goes to full day kindergarden when she is 6.
    wite a list of pros and cons that always helps me when I am trying to deside, ask for your so's input also.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    329

    Default Re: split decision

    It is such a hard decision to make. I went back FT when DD was 6 months and i still struggle with my decision. My job has v. flexible hours and I like the people and the work. BUT I commute 1 hour each way, time I rather spend with my daughter! I struggle through each day because besides being somebody's employee 8 hours a day, five days a week, I'm also a mom 24-7, for a daughter with special needs (hypotonia). Sometimes I think how simple life could be if I only stayed home! BUT I also know my personality, and as much as I love my daughter, I couldn't sit home with her 7 days a week without going stir crazy. And an unhappy mommy is not good for baby. I think my dream situation would also be a PT position close to home.

    You need to look at the big picture. If this is an awesome opportunity, something you can see yourself doing for several years, take it. Perhaps they can give you a more flexible schedule for at least the first year or so, work from home a day or two a week etc.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Posts
    82

    Default Re: split decision

    JCD - I think most working Mamas will agree that going back to work is one of the toughest things we can go through. If this is a good opportunity for you, I don't think I would turn it down for a couple more months at home (esp. if you will be scrambling to find a job in a few months...)
    My DS is 6 months old, and I've been back to work for 2 months, full-time. And although I sobbed putting his bottles of bm together the night before our first day. Here are a couple things I like to think about that keep me going every morning:
    1. DS is going be a social little man, and being away from mommy sometimes is a good thing for him.
    2. Maybe being a working mom will keep me well-balanced...making me a better mom for him.
    3. Working makes me cherish every second I'm with him
    4. Maybe someday DS will be proud of Mommy's career accomplishments
    5. DS sees an equal partnership between Mommy and Daddy, and someday he will support his wife, just like daddy does.

    All of that, and I still cry sometimes ....

    Honestly, the only way it works for me is because I was lucky enough to find great childcare. DS is in a home-based daycare (4 other toddlers and him), and his careprovider is wonderful. So, I would say that's a top priority, if you decide to go back to work - plus the support of your DH (for sure!!)

    Good luck...and Keep us posted!
    Last edited by Mom2Gabe; December 11th, 2006 at 10:12 AM.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    125

    Default Re: split decision

    I feel so bad that you are struggling with this decision. It sounds like you're already prepared in a few months to go back to work anyways but are wondering about going back early??? How much earlier would it be vs. the benefits of this new job?

    Although I can't make any decisions, I can share what I did. I could financially only stay at home x4 months (yes, we looked at ALL the numbers). I cherished every second with my DS leading up to returning back and now spend all my free time with him when we come home. My fav. is our little co-catnaps. 8^) I found a really good daycare which has helped. For us, we used a daycare center (feel free to personally email me for my reasons why) vs. homecare. But bottom line is that you need to feel comfortable wherever you place your LO. Would this job opportunity allow you to 'ease into' a FT work schedule? What about working from home for a bit? I had my first week back to work only a few hrs. each day (Monday was 2, Tues 4...etc) leading up to my first full day on Friday. I highly recommend this as it helped my DS transition as well.

    I still struggle with leaving him, but I know financially I can't afford not to. Housework has taken a FAR 2nd (?3rd) place and often my husband will cook dinner while I'm with DS. It's been an adjustment for all, but it works. I'm comfortable knowing he's in a good place, is happy (never had a change of attitude once he started) and strangely enough sleeps well for them but not me. haha! I hope you can find a good daycare for your LO whether it be now or later-it makes it much easier!

    Hugs and best of luck. I know you can make it through.

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