Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 43

Thread: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    24,794

    Default Re: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*maddieb View Post
    Also, Does anyone else find that odd for weighting infants? Am I being a scale snob?
    No, you're not being a scale snob! I think that the digital scales really are better for weighing babies- think how much wiggling and shifting goes on as the baby is weighed. It can make it hard for a digital scale to get the right read, and I imagine that it can only be more difficult when you're trying to adjust the sliding balances on an old-fashioned scale. That has to be a source of measurement error.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    74

    Default Re: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

    Thank you.
    I plan on getting a baby scale asap and also looking into hospital grde pump. My pump all of a sudden is not working properly a d all day anytime I tried to oump theee was not as much suction and I did not get much.

    I want to update after my LC appt. Baby latched beautifully theee which is frustrating because it is never the same at home. I need a special reclining chair! So the LC put baby to my breast without having me lift my breast up, which nobody has ever done with me before. It worked but the problem is I could not see the baby's mouth at all. When I am home I don't know what I am doing wrong but I just can't get a good position on my own.

    He nursed like that for 5 minutes and took in .7oz. Another 5 minutes took in .3oz. Then on the next breast .7oz again in 10 minutes. She told me to cut down hia nursing sessions since he is tiring out doing lots of sucking but not as many swallows as he should be doing. She suggested 10 min on one side, then 10 on the other, then offer supplement and be done. But isn't timing each side wrong? I feel like I am losing any confidence I may have had under the safety of the nipple shield, when I just followed cues and let him naturally finish. I don't know anymore. I am starting to hate feeding him now beecause all of this is taking over every minute of the day. I am nursing, pumping, keeping a log of both, going to all these appts, constantly making bottles and washing ghe stupid sns tube which is getting on my nerves. I don't want to feel like this. I want to enjoy my son and enjoy breastfeeding.

    One thing fot certain is baby has a weak suck and won't suck on a finger anymore. He used to suck hard on my finger so I don't know ehat is going on. I am working on suck training.

    I got through those early weeks with the thought that at this age things would be easier but that's not the case.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    24,794

    Default Re: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

    I plan on getting a baby scale asap and also looking into hospital grde pump. My pump all of a sudden is not working properly a d all day anytime I tried to oump theee was not as much suction and I did not get much.
    Excellent decision, especially in light of your pump not working well!

    Baby latched beautifully theee which is frustrating because it is never the same at home.
    Tell me about it! That is classic with LC appointments. I actually contemplated breaking into my LC's office and stealing her chair because it was the only place I had ever gotten a decent latch. I think the best thing you can say about getting a good latch at the LC's office is that you know a good latch is possible. In time, it should happen even without the special chair and assistance.

    I need a special reclining chair! So the LC put baby to my breast without having me lift my breast up, which nobody has ever done with me before. It worked but the problem is I could not see the baby's mouth at all. When I am home I don't know what I am doing wrong but I just can't get a good position on my own.
    Just keep trying! Try different places in your house, try different arrangements of pillows. If you find that your breasts need support, try sticking a rolled up washcloth, or even two, underneath to prop them into position.

    Have you tried a side-lying position?

    He nursed like that for 5 minutes and took in .7oz. Another 5 minutes took in .3oz. Then on the next breast .7oz again in 10 minutes. She told me to cut down hia nursing sessions since he is tiring out doing lots of sucking but not as many swallows as he should be doing. She suggested 10 min on one side, then 10 on the other, then offer supplement and be done. But isn't timing each side wrong?
    When breastfeeding is going pretty well, you definitely don't want to time feedings. But there's an argument to be made for it when breastfeeding isn't going well, because mom only has so much time and energy, and a lot of people get burned out and quit altogether because they cannot feed for an hour and then supplement and then pump and then feed again in a neverending cycle of effort. As you said, breastfeeding can take over every second of your day and that can really get you down. My guess is that the LC's thinking is that she would rather have you focus on the most productive parts of the nursing session, and then have more time and energy available to use that hospital-grade pump, and then have some time and energy for yourself.

    I feel like I am losing any confidence I may have had under the safety of the nipple shield, when I just followed cues and let him naturally finish.
    I get it. The shield seemed to be working for you, and that was a confidence booster. But in your particular situation, I think a shield is not a great tool. It can slow milk transfer, reduce stimulation to the breast- those things can be damaging to supply. Shields are best used to assist babies who will not otherwise latch but get plenty of milk when nursing.

    I don't know anymore. I am starting to hate feeding him now beecause all of this is taking over every minute of the day. I am nursing, pumping, keeping a log of both, going to all these appts, constantly making bottles and washing ghe stupid sns tube which is getting on my nerves. I don't want to feel like this. I want to enjoy my son and enjoy breastfeeding.
    Been there, done that, and it is exhausting and it does make you resent breastfeeding. I think the best things to remember, when you are stuck in a situation like this are:
    - It's temporary. Everything you are doing right now is helping you move forward to the time when you can ditch all the pumps, logs, bottles, SNS tubing, and just nurse.
    - It's okay to hate breastfeeding and all the effort that comes with it. Even moms who have textbook-perfect nursing experiences often dislike nursing their newborns, because newborn babies are so demanding and they do not give back. They don't smile at you, or coo, or reach out to touch you with a gentle hand. Being a new mom means being stuck in giving mode all the time. It's hard. So if you're thinking "If breastfeeding were going better, I could enjoy this baby", well- maybe? But also maybe not. Being a new mom is HARD, and a lot of people don't love it. The payoff comes later.

    Are you washing bottles, pump parts, and SNS tubing after every use? Or are you doing the every other use wash-up?

    One thing fot certain is baby has a weak suck and won't suck on a finger anymore. He used to suck hard on my finger so I don't know ehat is going on. I am working on suck training.
    What did the LC think about this?

    I got through those early weeks with the thought that at this age things would be easier but that's not the case.[/QUOTE]

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    74

    Default Re: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

    You have no idea how much I appreciate your understanding. My mom never breastfed and doesnt really get it. My aunt is someone I talk to but can be judgmental and is a know-it-all... "When I breastfed I just did what the book said and I had no issues!" Well aren't you so special.. I've been reading about breastfeeding pretty much everyday. She would tell me to stop feeding him on demand and to mke him wait until at least 2 hours passed so that my breasts would be full and he would be really hungry and would eat better. I didn't listen, but had to deal with that everyday either her telling me in person or texting me about it until I asked her to stop and told her the Dr and LC said she was wrong.

    Side lying saved my life but worked a lot better with the shield. Just laying down even if I am awake is so great compared to sitting up all night. This is part of the boob shape issue- I have a lot of breast tissue on the top part of my breast, then my low nipple, and only a little tissue underneath my nipple. It's hard to maneuver. So his nose gets pressed into me and it takes more effort on my part to make it work.

    I WAS washing everything after every use and that was pure insanity. I still do the tube everytime though because I get grossed out thinking about stuff building up in there. But it is really tedious. And getting the tube into his mouth everytime is becoming a nightmare that I dread. I have tried taping it before it goes in, and putting it in the corner of his mouth after he is on, and either way it is hard and we both get frustrated. I just want to throw the stupid thing away and be normal.

    I really am a nice, positive person usually but now it seems all I do is complain and feel frustration. I feel really bad for my husband!

    LC wants us to work on the suck training and we are going bck next week.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    74

    Default Re: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

    I remembered after that the LC said his palate was high. She didnt tell me what that meant but a google search shows it causes problems breastfeeding so I think that's a big factor.

    I just rented the medela symphony pump. I got a scale but baby wouldnt stop crying and flailing so I can't even get an accurate reading.

    I took him to the dr today because he has a cough and he was 7lbs 13oz there. So in 9 days gained 11oz. And that is with supplementing being cut down.

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,754

    Default Re: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

    So baby is continuing to gain excellently even on the reduced supplements. This sounds like good news. What did doctor say about that gain? Also, is the cough anything serious?

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    74

    Default Re: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

    We saw a different dr since it was walk-in hours on the weekend. He said weight gain from last time was great but he isn't familiar with my son and his story. We are seeing his dr tomorrow. As a ftm I got scared when he was coughing and brought him in, but it isn't serious. He caught my cold. Which actually is making it harder for him to nurse because he is stuffy. I have been suctioning to keep him clear.

    I am glad he is gaining but still feeling so frustrated over positioning. I wish I could see exactly how much he is taking in so that I could be more hopeful and confident that I can feed him. I don't feel like I see him swallowing enough. I think it's hard to guage the situation while he is sick though since he is more sleepy and also irritable. I keep watching positioning videos but with no real luck and wondering if there is even anyhing more I can do. I feel embarrassed to go back to the LC Wednesday and say I still can't get it right. I feel stupid that this is as hard as it is.

    I am still freaking out about going back to work on 2/10. I dont want him to lose weight. At least it's something that he loves nursing more than anything else but that doesn't help whe n I am gone! I was thinking about asking our moms to bring the baby to me at lunch time to nurse.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,754

    Default Re: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

    First I would suggest, do not feel embarrassed! It takes many moms and babies a long time to figure out latch and positioning. Your LC, if she is like most LCs, has seen it all, and what she has not seen, she has heard about. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Are there any LLL groups near you? Or breastfeeding usa or other breastfeeding support group? Sometimes it helps to see lots of different moms and babies together in real life. You never know where an 'aha' moment may come from.

    I have never been a huge fan of moms watching swallows to measure intake. In my opinion, this is really hard to do with many babies. This is info an LC uses, but it can be overly worrying to moms.

    As far as going back to work, I would suggest try to make lemonade. Meaning, use this new challenge to your advantage as much as possible. Baby will be getting bottles during the workday anyway, so the work day is a time baby can have his "supplements." Right? If baby is getting (for example) 10 ounces a day in supplements, can't that mostly be given during the work day so you can only nurse or mostly nurse when with baby? Also, the work day is a time you can pump without worrying about baby needing you to pick him up or wanting to nurse right after you pump or something.

    And having baby come to you to nurse during the work day is a great idea.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    74

    Default Re: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

    He refuses bottles and that is how the SNS came about for us. We try to get him to take a bottle everyday to prepare him but he hates it. I don't know if he will decide to take it after having no choice.

    I'm about to leave for ped appt. I don't even want to go because i am tired of her telling me I don't make enough milk.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,754

    Default Re: everything going wrong..desparate for help!!

    He refuses bottles and that is how the SNS came about for us.
    Oh ok. Have you tried a cup? Sorry you are dreading seeing doctor. Hopefully this appt will go well.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •