Hi,
I am (still!!) having a really hard time breastfeeding my daughter who was born prematurely. Here are a few facts about our situation:
- Born at 28.5 weeks
- She is now 4 months old / adjusted age is 6 weeks
- She spent 8 weeks in the NICU and has been home now for 9 weeks
- She is exclusively getting breast milk (always has) - first gavage feedings, then bottles, then I started nursing her here and there while still in the hospital (about 10 days before her discharge) for 10-15 minutes once a day, then topping her off with about an ounce - (NICU nurses said that nursing is more exhausting for her, so I should take it slow and initially only do a few minutes once a day)
When she got home mid-November, she still wouldn't nurse for more than 5-10 minutes and just fall asleep, so I continued topping her off after breastfeeding and mainly offering bottles. I got SO overwhelmed by the whole pumping every 2-3 hours / bottle feeding / nursing schedule, it felt like it was all I was doing, like I would spend my whole maternity leave doing these three things...I contacted a LC who came to our house early December - baby was latching and drinking, but her intake was rather slow (half an ounce in 20 minutes). LC recommended fenugreek and that I only pump every 4-5 hours, so that made it a bit more livable. She said that things were looking good and that may daughter would be able to breastfeed fairly soon. Then things got more difficult: my daughter started squirming and arching her back during feedings (breast and bottle), which made nursing basically impossible and really frustrating (she used to open her mouth and tried to latch, but would push herself away from my breast because she was squirming so much) - so we did mainly bottles. That way, at least I knew she was getting enough (essential when you bring home such a small baby) and also my husband was able to help me out, which was (still is) nice and allows me a break here and there. Because of her squirming, LC suspected reflux - so I cut out all dairy and soy - no improvement over the holidays. I tried nursing her here and there, but the few times she actually did latch she would drink for about 5 minutes and then stop (either falling asleep, not showing any more interest in drinking (even though still hungry) or crying from pain and/or frustration). Also, my in-laws stayed with us over the holidays and of course, everybody always wanted to feed her, so that gave me basically no opportunities to nurse her. After the holidays I called the pediatrician and she prescribed Zantac - no improvement (actually, thing got worse with added symptoms such as vomiting and diarrhea), so I discontinued it. Also, not all the feedings were bad and in between feedings she is the most happy and relaxed baby you can imagine, so I felt bad giving her meds. Now we're not sure if it's really reflux or maybe a milk allergy, so I am still not eating any dairy/soy and will probably start her on Nat Phos 6x (waiting to hear back re: dose). But actually, since I discontinued the Zantac, she has had one or two really painful feedings and ever since then she's mainly eating nicely (from the bottle, that is). Since things have gotten a bit better, I started nursing her again, but still the same behavior: sometimes latches nicely and drinks for 5-10 minutes, then 1) falls asleep, 2) doesn't want to latch again even though when I put her down she starts crying (=still hungry) or 3) gets frustrated and squirms. Sometimes I try to nurse her during a whole hour - she latches and drinks, then looses her latch and just sleeps in my arms, I try to get her interested again, after about 15 minutes she might latch again, drink another 5 minutes, etc. That way, we get to about 25 minutes of drinking in about one hour. Not ideal and not fun for neither of us. I read that babies can develop a breast aversion if you push them too much, so because I obviously want to avoid that, I usually give up and give her a bottle. It also makes me sad to see my otherwise so happy baby cry and fuss at my breast, but then with the bottle she drinks nicely, is done in 10 minutes and gets some time to play or cuddle with me.
After all this, finally my questions:
1) Does my daughter have what you call nipple confusion? If so, what can I do to "treat" her?
2) If it's not nipple confusion, what could be the problem?
3) After all this time, is it still worth trying to breastfeed or is it too late at this point? I have to add: My leave is over in 3 weeks, so she'll be getting more than 50% of her feedings by bottle anyways. I also only pump about 4 times a day which really isn't so bad anymore, but I would love to breastfeed because of the unique experience for the both of us.
4) Did I give up to soon, too fast? Should I have insisted more, despite the crying and fussing and frustration (on both ends)? I try to think that as long as she is getting breast milk, no matter how, it's fine and she's getting the benefits a breastfed baby gets, without the bonding and skin-to-skin with me, but at least she gets to bond with her daddy when he feeds her. And since pumping isn't such a struggle and time commitment anymore, is it really such a big deal? Is the romantic idea of me breastfeeding my baby really worth putting her through that ordeal? What do you think?
I know this post is really long, but I feel like I just had to get it out (today was a particularly frustrating day for me). I also think that, in order to give advice, whoever reads this and wants to help should have as much information as possible. So, thank you for reading it all and for any advice, suggestion or just kind word!!