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Thread: LO not napping. I'm losing my mind

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    10,753

    Default Re: LO not napping. I'm losing my mind

    I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I know how very hard it is to deal with a very fussy baby and worrying about baby.

    I think it may be helpful for you to think about the big picture. Unless I am missing something, your baby is overall healthy and gaining weight well? So even if there really is something wrong, it cannot be all that bad, right? Colic really does just appear out of nowhere and then disappear again- this is the nature of colic.

    If baby settles best by nursing, is there a particular reason you are avoiding doing this? You mention baby not being able to get herself back to sleep- but a baby typically cannot get back to sleep without someone comforting them to sleep, and nursing is the typical preferred method of comfort.

    I understand being worried about the shots. Shots can certainly make a baby feverish and achy and feel ill and be overly fussy for a bit, but it would be unlikely for those to affect behavior this long. However,If you think the shots had anything to do with your baby's change in behavior, you might want to think about talking to the pediatrician about a more spread out/delayed shot schedule. If you want to research this before the typical time for the 4 month shots, I strongly recommend The Vaccine Book by Robert Sears.

    You say you have read about sleep cycles. But what have you read? There is lots of misinformation published on this subject that causes parents lots of needless worry. Have you read Sweet Sleep? That is a very recent book based on a long history of strong sleep research.

    The reason I asked about burping is because many parents are told they have to actively burp a baby every feeding, and this is not true. I believe this practice started after bottle feeding became the norm for a couple reasons. Anyway, since spitting up is normal, burping a baby to avoid spit up is neither necessary nor very effective. If a baby is burped when it is not necessary, you are basically encouraging baby to burp when it may not be necessary, or before it is necessary, so, baby may spit up due to being burped, but worse, may become upset because they were setting down and suddenly someone is trying to get them to burp. IN my personal experience, it is fine to wait to help a baby to burp until they indicate this is needed. In other words, I would suggest try not burping baby unless baby starts fussing or crying indicating a painful bubble they can not get up themselves. Holding baby in an upright position, snuggled against you front to front, with her head above her tummy after nursing may help as well.

    Is there a mom-baby group or LLL meeting or some other breastfeeding support meeting you can go to? I really think it will help you to get out and be around other moms with young babies.

    If you get a chance to look at the articles I linked, take a look.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
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    22

    Default Re: LO not napping. I'm losing my mind

    I'm not by any means avoiding nursing her for comfort. I've spent a good majority of the last week with her on my breast, but I do have to take occasional breaks to do things like eat, go to the bathroom, take care of my dog, etc. I was just getting concerned that she would cry so many ch when I stopped and the things that used to comfort her like walking and bouncing, singing and making funny noises weren't helping anymore. I think my husband is getting a bit disheartened that he can't spend any quality time with her either because she's in hysterics.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
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    22

    Default Re: LO not napping. I'm losing my mind

    Also, thanks for the tip about burping her. I was under the impression that I was causing her pain and worse has if I didn't burp her every time we finished a feeding. I thought that maybe it was contributing to the excessive crying recently too.

    I think I just needed to hear that this would be considered normal behavior because as a FTM I don't really know what I'm doing and I got scared because she was a happy baby until recently and the level of crying was frightening to me. That's also why I was concerned it may have something to do with the shots. If it is just colic, I guess we just have to power through it. I just felt like I was failing her somehow by not being able to do anything but nurse her. I almost felt bad because it was like I was just shoving my boob in her mouth as like a plug, but I guess if that's what calms her she must not mind that I do that.

    I am going to look into LLL meetings in my area. I actually think my husband's old coworker might be a leader in her area. I haven't reached out because she has 3 small children of her own and I have a hard time even asking my own family for help because I feel like a nuisance, so bothering a stranger is way out of my comfort level.

    The stuff I read about sleep cycles is just basic, they have short sleep cycles and they sometimes come out of one and have trouble getting into the next which can cause them to be fussy, but this is happening every time she sleeps and is now resisting any effort we make to comfort her back to sleep besides nursing. So I guess I'll just stick to what works for however long this lasts. I appreciate you taking the time to reassure me that this all seems like normal behavior. You've given this novice mommy a little piece of mind

  4. #14
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    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: LO not napping. I'm losing my mind

    Ok, I was basing what I said from this :
    I've tried every soothing method I've found and nothing seems to work unless I put her back on the breast and let her fall asleep that way again.
    So I took that to mean that nursing did soothe baby, but you were trying other means of soothing. Sorry if I had this incorrect.

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
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    22

    Default Re: LO not napping. I'm losing my mind

    You were correct, but I was just concerned that what used to work no longer was. I am nursing her to soothe her but if I take a small break as mentioned above she would scream again and I wasn't sure if that was an indication that something else was wrong. I'm pretty convinced that the napping problems are making her overtired and the only way to get her to fall asleep is by nursing, but she used to be able to fall asleep with little effort. I am very confused by this sudden change but like I said, if I have to just keep her on the breast all the time to calm her til this passes then that's what I'll do. Just needed reassurance that this is normal behavior to just spring out of nowhere ☺️

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    10,753

    Default Re: LO not napping. I'm losing my mind

    Ok, I understand, So, what I think is that it may be normal, it all sounds pretty normal to me, except where I have noted. But you know your baby best and if your instincts are telling you something is wrong, I do believe in mother's instinct. All I know about is breastfeeding related issues so I have suggested those that may cause the issues you are seeing. But there may be some unrelated to feeding issue going on that I would not know about. Have you talked to baby's pediatrician?

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
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    22

    Default Re: LO not napping. I'm losing my mind

    I'm going to call pedi tomorrow just to see what they think. I just freak out about everything because I'm a FTM and it's nice to get reassurance that this behavior isn't out of the ordinary. She is a slow gainer but she does gain, and her diaper output is good so I'm guessing she's getting enough to eat and that's not what's causing her behavior. She just needs the breast for comfort more so now than she did before.

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    Default Re: LO not napping. I'm losing my mind

    Ok great I am glad you are going to talk to your pediatrician. BTW I missed one of your posts, about reaching out to a LLL Leader. I know exactly how you feel, I felt exactly the same discomfort about calling a Leader when I was first a mom and did not seek help from LLL until my child was over 6 months old! Anyway, I soon learned my fears about that were unfounded. LLL Leaders volunteer to do what they do exactly so they can talk to & hopefully help other moms as they themselves got help when they needed it...It is actually not easy to become a Leader, there is lots of work involved, so you know these are people who are really passionate about taking calls from moms and running LLL meetings, the two main responsibilities for a Leader. If you call a Leader and she is too busy at the moment she will arrange a time to call back or suggest anther Leader to call.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    24,845

    Default Re: LO not napping. I'm losing my mind

    LLL Leaders volunteer to do what they do exactly so they can talk to & hopefully help other moms as they themselves got help when they needed it...It is actually not easy to become a Leader, there is lots of work involved, so you know these are people who are really passionate about taking calls from moms and running LLL meetings, the two main responsibilities for a Leader. If you call a Leader and she is too busy at the moment she will arrange a time to call back or suggest anther Leader to call.
    People who become LLLeaders are doing it because they want people to reach out and ask them for help. It feels awesome when you can get someone over a hump and see them nursing successfully months later. Don't hesitate to make the call.

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