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Thread: Starting again with baby number two

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    23

    Default Starting again with baby number two

    Hi everyone,
    Gave birth to my second child 2days ago and was full of confidence after the birth and with the amazing staff that I had with the midwife led unit(fantastic supportive women) until the paediatrician came around to discharge us and do final check over baby.

    To say I was fuming was an understatement but I kept quiet. I did not want a blazing row and just wanted to get home.basically a woman a little older than myself decided to educate me how to feed my baby never even thinking to ask do I have other kids? Have I breastfed before? Or anything. I did try and answer questions she asked but she was extremely condescending and corrected my every answer. That's when I said to myself she is full of ****, a text book expert but with absolutely no personal experience of having keep do or breastfeeding herself. From telling me to feed often to supplementing in the first fees days?? And then trying to tell me milk arrives in a few hrs after birth????(and she didn't mean colostrum) then telling me look he is starving, and the signs to look for
    He has never been parted from me since birth and was put on breast in a matter of minutes.my confidence has been shattered and now I'm terrified that I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I know it's still early days and my milk will probably arrive in the next day or two but the doc really pissed me off. Sorry for language
    Last edited by @llli*yvonne9; March 31st, 2015 at 09:01 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Brussels, Belgium
    Posts
    1,388

    Default Re: Starting again with baby number two

    Hi Yvonne,
    Congratulations on your wonderful second bundle of joy. Glad you came here to get it off your chest and look for answers. Things are going to be ok
    Just a couple days after birth your body is continuing the miracle and changing your hormones very rapidly, and as women we know that surging hormones can impact your emotions, so let's be gentle with ourselves and BTW it's certainly ok with me, your language!

    I'm sorry that you ran into a negative experience on bfing. It sounds like she was not having her best day if she spoke condescendingly towards you, and maybe it might help your feelings toward the experience to look at her as a person who was potentially just having a bad day herself but struggling to get through it nonetheless. The good news is she is not around now, and you can use things like a log for how often you bf and baby's nappies to track how things are going on a level much more authoritatively than any one person's advice can show you.

    Your confidence can be built again, and even stronger than it was before you can do this.

    Would you like some support on how your bfing is going? If so, would you like to look back and tell us how often LO is bfing, and what kind of nappy output is going on?
    Katharine in Belgium
    Be the change you want to see in the world--Mahatma Gandhi
    DD2 Feb 2015 - natural birth VBAC with DD (2010) & DS (2011 VBAC)
    Ouch! Is it thrush or Raynaud's phenomenon?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    707

    Default Re: Starting again with baby number two

    I agree with PP about using a log. My hospital supplied one. It had one day for each week of baby's first week of life. Each day it had all the 24 hours written out and you circle each time the baby eats. Near it, it says how many target feeds you should aim for (10-12, for example), and then underneath that it has the typical amounts of wet and soiled diapers and you circle each time baby has one.

    This is what kept me going because I was clueless and didn't get too much good advice either. I ended up making my own little clock to keep track and make sure I fed baby enough. After 2 weeks I felt confident that I could nurse whenever baby wanted and it was enough!
    Mom to Samuel J.
    born 7lb. 10 oz. and 22" tall
    on Saturday, October 19, 2013.

    My breastfeeding experiences: http://www.breastfeedinghacks.com/

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    24,794

    Default Re: Starting again with baby number two

    Can you call your local LLL for support? It sounds like you need to hear someone who is knowledgeable about breastfeeding tell you that you're doing a great job, which you are! I also think it might help to talk to your local LLL leader about what happened to you with the pediatrician- she might be able to tell you that this person is known for providing bad advice, or be able to suggest ways to effect positive change at the hospital. In this situation, I would want to send a letter of complaint, detailing your interaction with this pediatrician, to both the pediatrics and obstetrics departments, and also to the person who handles complaints for the hospital.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,754

    Default Re: Starting again with baby number two

    I am so sorry this person hurt your confidence. Such a shame.

    I had my 2nd and 3rd babies at the same very large teaching hospital. Basically this means my "private" room often felt like grand central with a constant parade of doctors and med students who were at various points in their education and residencies.

    Long story short, I met lots of people who thought they knew more than I did about breastfeeding, what is normal in the newborn period, and about my baby. It seemed like they were all trying to make me concerned that I was going to starve my child. All I could think was, if I, with my personal experience and above average general knowledge about breastfeeding (from years at LLL meetings) am this disempowered by this experience, is it any wonder so many moms supplement unnecessarily and/or give up breastfeeding?

    My only defense was to get out of there as fast as I could and get home.- But first I had to convince TPTB to discharge baby and me.

    Luckily, in my case, both times, the attending would finally show up at discharge and BOTH times said something along the line of "What is the problem? This is an experienced mom. She and her baby are doing fine. Discharge them."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    211

    Default Re: Starting again with baby number two

    I'm so sorry you had such a discouraging experience! I went into labor convinced I had all the knowledge I needed to get through that and breastfeeding (I didn't), but I was determined to make breastfeeding work and knew I would face hurdles in this community (NOT breastfeeding friendly). Nurses at the hospital were trying to teach me how to get my newborn to sleep through the night at a day old, when we went back into the hospital for baby's infection, they were convinced she would be better off in the hospital crib across the room, not in bed with me doing skin to skin, feeding on demand, etc, and when baby lost initial weight after birth (normal), they gave me info on formula. And that is the ped's office that has the most breastfeeding-friendly reputation in my city!
    All that to say, I definitely recommend finding your local LLL and going to meetings or talking to leaders (or both!). It is so encouraging to talk to other moms and know you're doing things "right," no matter what the medical professionals seem to think.
    Last edited by @llli*mama7008; March 31st, 2015 at 01:24 PM.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    23

    Default Re: Starting again with baby number two

    Thank you everyone for your kind reassurance. Your right I will never see her again and just leave it as a bad day for her. Midwives will call out to the house to make sure everything is ok and the impression I got from them was the paed was a bit of a 'B'. He is two days old and I'm feeding him every two hrs or even sooner if he will take it. I remember this from my last baby who is now two and a half who I thankfully breastfed until she was 20months.dirty nappies have been good ,nearly after every feed.
    The thing I forgot about since the last time was how difficult it can be to wake a sleepy newborn to feed, have looked at pdf's for nappy log and waking sleepy baby which is a great refresher tool

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