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Thread: Going to bed without mama..

  1. #1

    Default Going to bed without mama..

    Hi mamas... I have an almost 7 month old who we co sleep with, and 90% of the time sleeps in my arms for naptime. I love co sleeping and it hasn't been too much of an issue for us. I try to lay him down for a nap so I don't have to hold him, but he immediately wakes up and is upset, but I don't mind it too much to have him in my arms. Our main issue is that he will only be comforted by me for bedtime and then only fall asleep on me while breastfeeding. If I am out to dinner with friends and come home a little late, my little guy is always screaming and refusing my hubby's cuddles. Get him into my arms, and he immediately stops crying. I can tell how frustrating that is for hubby, and I feel really guilty. My hubby tries to cuddle him and plays with him a lot once he gets home from work to get lots of bonding time in. It also makes it tough for us to imagine having him have sleepovers with grandparents (who don't believe in co sleeping.) so that we can have "alone time". Any advice or similar experiences? Are we just going to have to deal with this until he grows out of that need for me at bedtime? When did other co sleeping babies go out on sleepovers with relatives, and how did they manage?

  2. #2

    Default Re: Going to bed without mama..

    Hi there - just chiming in to let you know you're not alone. My lil guy started with separation anxiety at 5 months. If I leave his sight he starts wailing. Strangely, it's gotten a little better with sleep training. I slept on a single bed in the baby's room while he slept in his crib -- or more often in my arms in the feeding/easy chair up until last week. Now, his dad shares the night time checks and feeds him his cereal in the mornings (I was starting to see things from lack of sleep! lol) Now the little guy is reaching for Dad at times and tolerates my absence for short periods as long as his dad is there. We're also working on getting the baby to bond with a stuffed animal; we hope that will help, too.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Going to bed without mama..

    Thanks for sharing your experience I guess I'm not ready to give up co-sleeping yet! Perhaps that's my downfall.. but its hard to quit when I am able to get so much more sleep because of it! (and of course cuddles all night )

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    10,753

    Default Re: Going to bed without mama..

    How about lying down to nurse him to sleep and then sneaking away? Of course you will need to make any common sense adjustments you need to your sleep surface so baby can be left safely there.

    Do you use a sling? I used to get baby to sleep in the sling, then lay baby down by leaning over the bed (or crib, when we still bothered with that furniture) , and loosening the sling and slipping myself out of it, leaving the sling under/around baby like a little blanket.

    To aid sneek-aways, I sometimes had success getting baby to stay asleep if I left a t-shirt with my scent near him.

    Assure your husband the time will come soon enough when your son will prefer to be with him and it will be your turn to feel like chopped liver. But not at 7 months. Your baby's behavior is normal. Also, bonding occurs during crying just as much as during happy play. Togetherness and loving interaction is what creates bonding.

    For nights you are out, what other methods of comforting has dad tried? Cuddling might just not be the way to baby's heart at that moment, when he is missing mom and nursing. Does your husband have a baby carrier he uses? This is a good age to try baby backpacks, which some kids love. Some kids love a stroller ride or car ride. He might do better with distraction like a book or toy or silly song or goofy faces etc.

    Sleep-overs at grandparents can happen when the child is ready for them, and for many kids, that is not until they are kids. Not babies.

    Bedsharing with mom is the way almost all humans slept/sleep as babies and young children (and often as older children) throughout almost all human history and in most of the world. It is biologically normal and does not cause sleep issues or separation anxiety.

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