Our breastfeeding has completly fallen apart. She won't latch and when she does it is painful. I have blisters on my nipples which hurt like heck and my heart is broken. I hired an LC to come in last night and she was with me for an hour. We got her latched beautifully on both sides but I couldn't replicate it for any of her other feedings. DH is giving her expressed milk and I am pumping. Now my milk supply seems so low that even she did latch there wouldn't really be anything for her. What kills me is that before she started screaming this week from what we think is reflux, things were going better and my nipples weren't very sore. I don't think she was latching perfectly but it wasn't what it is now.
I am at a loss. I feel so alone and angry at myself for not being able to do this. I feel like I need to toss in the towel but can't really seem to be able to do that.
I don't know whether to call the LC again or to call the LLL leader in my area or just to give up. We've spoken a few times and she seems very nice. But I feel like I need someone here, in my house, for a few feedings to help me and I have no one I know who will do that. The LC will charge me $125 each time and I just can't do that right now since I'm not working.
DH is at his wit's end. I'm spiraling down into serious PPD. I said things that hurt my husband last night so badly that I fear he'll never forgive me. It was just my anger getting the best of me. He's a wonderful husband and father and doesn't deserve this. I feel like a wreck and don't know where to turn.
Please, can someone help me? Any advice would be helpful.