But yes, we continue to struggle with the "whose sleep is more important" or even just "whose needs are getting met". While I don't need to go to work, he has some major benefits of leaving home and dealing with much less demanding humans all day. If he wants to take a break and go get lunch, he can. He showers everyday, etc.
I sooo hear you! If someone can figure out a way to explain this so the working-out-of-the home parent gets it, they should get a medal! My husband is and has been actually a tremendous help, even on the 'night shift'- But I know he still comes home from work, chipper as can be, sees me utterly wiped out, and does not get it at all!