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Thread: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,754

    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    However, the one website I was referring to is: http://www.troublesometots.com/what-...-night-part-i/.
    Ok thanks. I gather this is a person who is a 'professional' sleep trainer, in that she gets paid to tell people how to get their babies to sleep in some specific way, and is even writing/has written a book on infant sleep. In this case, she is practicing this profession despite having no formal education or training in this area, at least according to her own biography. I have met a few such folks over the years, as well as their clients. In my opinion this is a profession I hold zero stock in. Because I simply hold no stock in the idea a normal child needs to be taught to fall asleep or stay asleep. Infants manage to sleep plenty in the womb. Do they forget how to sleep once they are born?

    Do some children have real sleep problems that need solving, some how? Of course. But this would almost certainly be due to some abnormal physical or psychological issue, and there would probably be other symptoms, and the appropriate professional to help in such cases would probably NOT be a sleep trainer. In my opinion the biggest problem children face is the insistence they sleep in a way that runs counter to human development and biology.

    I would also question anyone who works on issues affecting the health and wellness of very young children who refers to them universally as "troublesome" - even in jest. Our attitudes about our children matter. I would not be too pleased if I found my husband perusing a website called "troublesomewives.com."
    Last edited by @llli*maddieb; February 6th, 2015 at 02:29 AM.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    143

    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    Maddieb readin your post never fail to give me insight as well as a chuckle. Love it. So glad i read this post. Im coming up on three monthw with my son and he is outgrowing the cosleeper so we will be transitioning to another bed surface right next to me instead of directly in the bed. I am now currently getting hin used to this by putting him in it for naps. Of course they arent long naps and sleeping in general is difficult with the congestion issue. But i never realised that in the books they suggest at 3 months to have your baby sleeping by himself and no longer nursing to sleep. Have these people who write these books not nursed?! No opinion is better if you yourself have not experienced it.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    232

    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    Thank you for all of your responses.

    mommal, yes, the fear mongering is outrageous, and it's prevalent on both sides of a wide variety of topics, which amazes me. I loved your advice about patience at any stage.

    maddieb, yes, the more I looked at the site and the various links it offered, the more I did not trust the info. Yes, the name of the site is insulting to children too, which is a huge red flag. Thank you for your opinion. Sadly, I feel like it's not just this site that has these views.

    Thank you again, everyone.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Posts
    16

    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    My son just turned 13 months and I nurse him to sleep, and I have been doing it since he was born. He was always a good sleeper, in fact we were a little concerned about him his first week or so because he was sleeping too much and not waking up for his feeds. Now he only wakes up once or twice to nurse and goes usually goes back to sleep where I can put him in his crib, although a few times he has insisted I stay next to him.
    Nursing won't put him to sleep if he is still wide awake, but I find it to be a big help if he is already tired out, because it relaxes him.

    I'm sure there is a lot of variation among kids and sleep. If all kids were like my son, there probably wouldn't be so many books, websites etc on baby sleep.

  5. #15

    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    I know this is a little late, but I just wanted to offer support for nursing your baby to sleep. For the first several months, I was breastfeeding and/or rocking my daughter to sleep every night and for every nap, and also grappled with wondering if it was the right thing to do, and unfortunately came across the same website that you mentioned which told me I was basically harming my baby and creating horrible, irreparable sleep habits by nursing her to sleep...but then I talked to my mom, who said, "Oh...well, how else are you supposed to put a baby to sleep?!" She breastfed both my sister and I until about age 3, and nursed us to sleep every night during that time, and obviously we are now able to put ourselves to sleep without being rocked or breastfed and have been for some time. So, I stopped worrying or feeling guilty about it. This notion of creating bad "sleep associations" sounds absolutely ridiculous if you think about it (and if anything, nursing/cuddling a baby to sleep would create a positive association with sleep, right?), and it's all part of the "forced independence" movement so prevalent in our society that also warns us not to pick up and comfort a crying baby. There is nothing wrong or harmful about comforting a baby. Ever. And nursing a baby to sleep is natural! That's why it's so relaxing for both mom and baby. Babies grow and change so fast, and they won't need or want to be breastfed forever, so we should enjoy it while it lasts. As my wise mother says, "No one ever went to Harvard still needing to breastfeed..."

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2014
    Posts
    79

    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    I whole heartedly agree!!!! And yes you have a very wise mother. Can you share her? Lol JK.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    232

    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    Thank you, victors.mom, yuna.mommy, and luvmy.munchkins, for the responses. I've been greatly encouraged by them.

    Yuna.mommy, it's wild that you happened across that same website, and thank you for sharing your own exoerience as well as your mother's wise and encouraging words.

    It's been a while since I originally started this thread, and I wanted to say that the nursing to sleep is going really really well right now. I am so happy that I have not given it up.

    Are there nights where I'm up very frequently? Absolutely!

    However, what I'm finding is that, with my baby, there's always an extremely good reason for the night wakings, and it has little to do with my nursing my baby to sleep. My experience has been that my baby has been up more frequently not necessarily because of nursing to sleep, but for many other logical reasons like teething, any type of big developmental milestones, separation anxiety, extra hunger from being so mobile and curious during the day, etc., etc. (Often these issues are overlapping, so no wonder my baby needs some extra nursing or night wakings during these times.)

    Thank you for your encouragement, everyone!

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