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Thread: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

  1. #1
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    Default Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    x
    Last edited by @llli*thawingsnow; January 31st, 2018 at 09:13 AM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    I'm not sure who your online source is, but I don't think I agree with them!

    The problem with sleep is honestly everyone has an opinion and they all make it sound like solid research but very little research has actually been done in the area.

    I'm sure I can find online sources that say you *have* to do CIO/CC for your baby to sleep independently; and I could find another that says if you don't co-sleep until they are 3 you will cause development/attachment issues. They can't both be right!

    Go with your instincts and what works for your family. I've never met an adult who nurses to sleep so we all get there eventually one way or another

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*thawingsnow View Post
    When I nurse my baby all the way to sleep now and move the baby to the baby's sleep area (which is very near my sleep area, but somewhat divided from my area too), my baby typically wakes up very disturbed and upset now, almost scared perhaps. Thus, my baby's sleep is much more disturbed as is the rest of my family's.
    This is when I stopped nursing my baby to sleep. I don't for one second regret the many months that I did nurse her to sleep and am so grateful that it worked for so long. But, when it stopped working, I decided I needed to do something different.

    It was hard seeing her wake up from her short cat naps so startled and unhappy and not rested. Once I started putting her down awake (after nursing) she started taking longer naps and was just generally much happier. I knew then that we had made a good change.

    PP is right...everyone has an opinion and no one is right. Gather opinions, do some research, and then go with your instincts and do what feels right for you.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    x
    Last edited by @llli*thawingsnow; January 31st, 2018 at 09:14 AM.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    I still nurse to sleep with DD at 14 months and I currently have 1 friend doing it at 18 months and another at just over 2. I also have a friend who did the rouse them after a feed thing from pretty young, around 3 months.

    I can't imagine nit nursing to sleep at this point, mainly because I like the easy life and in our house that is what is easiest

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    Wouldn't it be great if the online source said something like this: "The night-waking you are seeing might be related to your baby's developing sense of object permanence. To put it in layman's terms, your baby is suddenly a lot more aware of when things are not where they used to be! That can be pretty upsetting for a baby: she wakes up all alone, in the dark, and thinks "Yikes, where's my mom?!". To see her through this developmental leap, it may help to bring her in closer to you at night. That way when she wakes up you will be immediately available to offer the consolation she needs."

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    An online source is telling me that the sleep issue we're experiencing now is related to object permanence. They're saying my baby needs to be put down drowsy, but awake, so the baby won't be freaked out by going to sleep nursed in mom's arms and waking up in a different place. The online source also says this won't stop until baby learns to go to sleep on its own and is also saying nursing to sleep is a contributing factor.
    Can you identify the online source? I am very curious what, if any, research backs up such a specific recommendation.

    I nursed my children to sleep well into toddlerhood. They pretty much stopped nursing to sleep at night, or during the night, at about the time we stopped bedsharing which was during their third year which was well before they weaned entirely. This was a very calm and painless transition, in fact with my second child it happened entirely on his own with no encouragement from me. Of course, they never nursed to sleep EVERY time they slept. They fell asleep in the car and in other circumstances from infancy. And sometimes I wanted to and tried to nurse them to sleep, but they did not fall asleep. But nursing was in general a very reliable and easy way to gentle them into sleep. It was so easy and natural, that I soon realized it was set up that way, that children are designed to nurse to sleep. For me, being able to nurse my kids to sleep was/is a wonderful tool in the toddler years, which I personally find far more difficult and exhausting both emotionally and physically than any other childhood period.
    Last edited by @llli*maddieb; February 1st, 2015 at 10:31 PM.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*maddieb View Post
    Can you identify the online source? I am very curious what, if any, research backs up such a specific recommendation.
    I would estimate at least 9/10 online resources will tell you to stop nursing/rocking/back-rubbing baby to sleep by the time they are 3 months old. It is pretty much the standard. Because, how else will they learn to sleep on their own, right?

    I have absolutely no scientific or child development reasoning behind this, but here is what I would do: If baby is waking up crying only 5 minutes after you put him down asleep, I would try putting him down awake and back-rubbing (or something similar) until he drifts off. If baby is waking up crying many hours after you put him down asleep, I would continue nursing to sleep and see if it is a phase that passes. This is only based on my own instinct and experience with my daughter, who seems to have moved past the phase of waking up scared to be alone.
    My little man was born 12/17/2010.

    Baby girl was born 4/30/2014.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    x
    Last edited by @llli*thawingsnow; January 31st, 2018 at 09:14 AM.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Nursing to Sleep: Time to Stop?

    One of my biggest problems with the way people talk about infant sleep is the fear-mongering. "If you don't get your baby out of your bed TODAY, he's never going to leave and will probably grow up to be a serial killer!" "If you don't stop rocking/nursing/parenting your child to sleep, he will never learn how to sleep on his own and you'll be rocking him to sleep when he's in college." "Waking up several times a night is sooooo destructive to you as a mom! You'll never be happy if you continue to get up with your baby, so sleep-train him ASAP!"

    I think that a better approach to infant sleep is "Be patient. Whatever is driving you bonkers right now is going to change as your baby develops, even if you do absolutely nothing about it. No matter what you do today- sleep train/don't sleep train, nurse to sleep/don't nurse to sleep, have a family bed/have your baby in a crib- your baby will eventually sleep on his own and in his own bed. So don't freak out. Just do what you can to maximize your own sleep for the time being, and continue to be a responsive parent. You know your baby better than anyone else, and if you feel that he needs to be fed/rocked/parented at night, then you are surely right."

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