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Thread: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,754

    Default Re: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

    Do you think it is at all possible painful reflux is going on? I ask because painful reflux tends to be a cause of discomfort if a baby is lying down or in a "C" position as in a car seat. So, might explain the tendency for short sleeps, frequent nursing, and unhappiness in the car.

    This is a good article on GER in babies. http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/hea...t-what-do-faqs

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    707

    Default Re: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

    When does your baby appear to become tired in the evening? My baby sleeps much better if I put him to bed at 7:45-8 than during the days he went to bed at 8:30-9. It could be that it's because he just got older so he's just able to sleep better and put himself back to sleep. Or because he's now eating more solids? Who knows. But I definitely see a huge improvement. I was afraid to put him to bed early (even though he was so tired already in the 7-8 range) because I thought it would mean that he'll wake up earlier in the morning (which I did not want). But I was pleasantly surprised to see he'd sleep from 7:30/8-7:30/8 each night. He wakes up for one feeding in the early AM hours.

    I guess you don't want to hear this but the only thing that worked for me was controlled crying. We did it for naps (at the babysitter) and for bedtime (home with me). He never cried more than 5-8 minutes and that was that. It worked wonders. It put him to sleep and it kept him asleep. He used to never know how to get back to sleep without nursing. Few sucks and back to sleep. And I can't do that in the middle of the night. It wore me out to pieces because he was also sleeping in a different room (cosleeping was not a safe option for us). I was so annoyed each time I had to get out of bed and make the trip just to give him a few seconds of nursing so he could go back to sleep. He never ate a decent meal at night, just light snacking. And for that I didn't feel it was THAT important. I understand he needs to eat at night so yes I did feed him twice in the night (now we're down to 1 because he eats way more solids and doesn't need more BM at night). He learned how to put himself back to sleep without me. It's not as inhumane as people make it sound.
    Mom to Samuel J.
    born 7lb. 10 oz. and 22" tall
    on Saturday, October 19, 2013.

    My breastfeeding experiences: http://www.breastfeedinghacks.com/

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    rockford,il
    Posts
    798

    Default Re: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/031610...=AC_SY200_QL40
    Dr Sears sleep book

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/098950...110_SY165_QL70
    Rebecca micchi's sleep book

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/034940...=AC_SY200_QL40
    Sarah ockwell-smith's sleep book

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/014300...1432938&sr=8-1
    pinky mckay's sleep book

    I tried reading Pantley 's toddler no cry sleep solution. Frankly, I didn't care for it. I'm sure it's helpful to many parents but it just didn't work for us. It was the same type of advice that caused me so much anxiety when my oldest was small as he just wouldn't accept any other solution except Bedsharing and frequent nursing. I spent so many hours trying to make him tired before he naturally was because ' the experts ' said so. Some nights he did go to sleep at seven but others, no way in hell were his eyes going to close. He's an amazing sleeper now. In fact, the last two nights he's asked us to let him fall asleep alone in his own room. The first night he stayed there until morning. Last night he came to our bed around 3 or 4 ish. Healthy sleep habits can be taught over years rather than the first twelve months. I hope you do find a like minded mommy group. Attending LLL meetings after my son's first birthday was the turning point in shedding the isolation of my parenting style while gaining confidence and support. I've only read Dr Sears book linked above but have heard good things about the other books. Sarah ockwell- Smith is in England and does consultations so if you feel the need for personal help, try her.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

    maddieb, we did suspect reflux at about 6 weeks when she began crying/screaming at the breast, refusing to feed, arching her back etc, along with being generally very unsettled. Ironically though, she was sleeping much better then, in 3 or 4 hour chunks. We tried a couple of antacids to no effect, which then led us onto cow's milk protein intolerance, but again cutting out dairy had no effect. It was concluded that she is just "fussy/high needs".

    ruchiccio, 5-8 minutes of crying is tolerable, however we would get at least an hour, and she would fall asleep from exhaustion at the end of it - and then sleep very badly due to going to sleep in such a state. Plus, I just can't leave her crying, I find it too hard at the moment. Early bedtimes haven't worked for us - she either wakes after 30 minutes as if from a nap, or I'm stuck upstairs in the dark with her latched on and dozing all evening...

    Thanks for the book recommendations zaynethepain, I have read Sears but not any of the others so I will look them up.

    We had a terrible night last night - she has a cold, and is teething, and woke every 10-15 minutes for several hours - plus my nipples are getting sore from her new tooth and all that comfort nursing...

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    12

    Default Re: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

    I don't have a ton of advice, but wanted to let you know that you're not alone. I have a lot of similar issues with my 10 month old - late bedtime due to a late nap that she doesn't seem capable of dropping, needing to nurse to sleep (thus tying us to baby at bedtime), waking frequently, etc. We've been stuck in this rut for awhile. Most nights I can deal and others are harder and dark (metaphorically, not literally ). I also won't use any cry methods, at least until 12 months when I might try Dr. Jay Gordon's method (posted above).

    it does seem your baby is getting enough sleep so that is something to be happy about! Two things I might try soon are: 1) gradually extending her awake time during the day to see if she can stop having that last late nap; and 2) moving bedtime up very gradually, 10-15 minutes at a time for a few days. I'd be happy with an 8 o'clock bedtime!

    Best of luck. Message me if you'd like to chat about our babes as they sound very similar.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    COUGARTOWN Baby! From here on in!
    Posts
    16,077

    Default Re: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

    I didn't read all the responses but it's an actual thing. Called wakeful 4 month olds. Because it's when someone turns on the world. Here is more info about it. http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/4mo-sleep/

    Way too lazy for formula

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

    Yes it did start around the 4-month sleep regression time, but is still going on at 8 months, so I guess it can't still be that??

  8. #28

    Default Re: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

    Hi Pickle pie- did you have any success in encouraging your little one to sleep for longer periods of time in the end? I am attempting to get my 6.5 month old to fall asleep without nursing after 2 months of her waking next to me constantly throughout the night and immediately comfort sucking for a couple of minutes and then dropping back to sleep. I'm just finding it hard not having more than an hour or two of sleep at a time. I've been trying to unlatch her before she falls fast asleep but it does NOT make for a very happy baby! Thanks.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

    Sorry to say but no - in fact I've just posted another thread about how much worse it is at the moment, although I think a lot of that is because she has a chronic blocked nose. I've tried a bit of the unlatching but like you it's not been very successful. One thing that has improved slightly I guess, is that she will now often unlatch herself and roll over to sleep, so at the beginning of the evening I can at least get up for however long she gives me until she wakes again. But it doesn't seem to have stopped her need to comfort suck every time she wakes so I'm not convinced that persevering with the unlatching will help much. She has also given me 2 or 3 hours a bit more consistently at the beginning of the night over the last few weeks (used to be 30 mins to an hour every time) but the rest of the night is still terrible I'm afraid...

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    48

    Default Re: Co-sleeping - late bedtime issues and frequent waking

    Just wanted to say hi to all of you in the same boat! My 6.5 month old does the same thing. He's occasionally giving me 2-3 hour stretches now (not all night, but sometimes once or twice), and like you said about your LO, he has often started unlatching himself and rolling on his back to go to sleep.

    I'm going to call this progress!! Although I'm in Canada and don't have to go to work yet, so I totally feel for those of you who do.

    If only there was a teleporter so we could all get together to commiserate... haha.

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