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Thread: Toddler weaned after newborn

  1. #1

    Default Toddler weaned after newborn

    I have a son who is almost 3 and a newborn baby. My son was still nursing a few times a day when I became pregnant. About 3-4months into my pregnancy, I decided to start weaning my son--I found nursing very uncomfortable and did not really want to tandem-nurse, if possible, after the baby was born. My son showed slightly reduced interest in nursing during my pregnancy, but was still interested for the most part. We did reduce his nursing sessions by the time the baby was born--through my husband helping to put him to bed and setting time limits on nursing sessions--to just a couple of times per week. He accepted these changes fairly well. But, we did not complete wean him; I had trouble completely denying him. After the baby came home, he asked to nurse every nap & bedtime. I did not tell him "no"--except for one night when it was too uncomfortable for me. But I still set time limits & explained that babies need to nurse a lot, but that everyone nurses less (and eventually not at all) as they get older. He watched me nurse the baby a few times. Then, after a couple of weeks, he abruptly stopped asking to nurse. He wants me to rock him a lot and touches my chest, but does not ask. It has been a couple of weeks since he stopped. Has anyone else had this experience? I am somewhat relieved that he stopped, as it was painful to nurse him (biting, twisting, etc) and, for me personally, I would find nursing both of them difficult. But I am also concerned about his behavior and hope he is not feeling supplanted by the new baby.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Toddler weaned after newborn

    and hope he is not feeling supplanted by the new baby.
    I doubt there is any way to avoid this, it is normal for a child to feel displaced and threatened by the new sibling.

    If you are ok with your son nursing again, no reason to not offer to nurse and see what happens. However, he may simply be done and this is his way of weaning. Either way lots of cuddles and attention and praise will help him during his emotional transition from only child to big brother.

    I also want to add, because it is something people sometimes worry about, that holding mothers breast for comfort appears to be a common behavior among young children no matter when or how they wean or even if they were not ever nursed. This is based on my own informal polls on the subject.
    Last edited by @llli*maddieb; January 1st, 2015 at 08:49 PM.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Toddler weaned after newborn

    Thank you for the reply. He still has not asked to nurse, so maybe it is his way of weaning. He only nursed 1-2x per week before the baby & sometimes seemed to be asking afterwards just to see if I would allow him. I just worry because I do not want the transition to be too hard for him--even though feeling somewhat supplanted is probably inevitable.

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