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Thread: Looming business trip -- need help!

  1. #1

    Default Looming business trip -- need help!

    Hi there!

    This is my first post here so thank you very much in advance!

    I am a writer who works from home. This has enabled me and my daughter to have a great breastfeeding relationship. She's never taken a bottle (translation: refuses), and I nurse her to sleep for all naps and bedtime. She sleeps in her crib from 7:30 - about 2:00 am when she comes to our bed and then nurses off and on until morning. That said, she is pretty dependent on me to sleep. I have a business trip at the end of January that will require me to be away from my girl for three nights. Needless to say, I am freaking out. My mom, whom she loves dearly, will be staying at our home with her. I would love some advice or suggestions as to how I can prepare her for this trip. I am not ready to wean nor is she, but I know we need another way for her to get to sleep. My husband is ready to try to more stern methods like cry it out, but I can't bring myself to do that to her or me. Again, thank you so much for your help and support!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    707

    Default Re: Looming business trip -- need help!

    How old is your daughter?

    If I were in your position, the only thing that would probably work for me is gentle controlled crying methods to wean her off the nursing-to-sleep solution. I'm sorry I don't have other advice {{hugs}}.
    Mom to Samuel J.
    born 7lb. 10 oz. and 22" tall
    on Saturday, October 19, 2013.

    My breastfeeding experiences: http://www.breastfeedinghacks.com/

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,754

    Default Re: Looming business trip -- need help!

    Hi. It might help to know how old baby is, but in general here is what I think.

    Situations like this are not about preparing baby for the separation. It is about preparing caregivers for baby.

    What if you weaned your baby? What if you used 'more stern measures' or any measures and were successful in creating a situation where your baby no longer 'needs' you to get to sleep? We are talking a baby, (or very young child) and babies and young children are unpredictable. You have no idea what will actually happen when you are gone and baby realizes you are gone. You may do all these things, and baby is still upset and refuses to settle the way baby did before. Plus, many of such measures are quite stressful to mom and baby. You are both going to have stress being parted for 3 days, that is just normal. Why add to that with lots of preparation before that may come to nothing anyway?

    The flip side is also true- you may do absolutely nothing to prepare baby, and your daughter easily figures out she can not nurse to sleep when you are not there, and is content to be comforted to sleep another way. Isn't this actually quite likely? Or do you think your baby will not sleep for three days?

    I am unclear on who is going to be with baby at night, if it is both your husband and your mom, or what. If it is, then they can take turns sleeping and caring for fussy baby.

    But whoever it is, it might help them to know other ways to calm baby. being 'worn' in a Sling or wrap? Being read to? sung to? Rocked? TV? Music player? car ride? stroller? Maybe these things are not the anesthesia that nursing is, but I imagine there are some other ways baby can be comforted.

    We are not talking forever, we are talking 3 days. So I think it is ok to bend any rules you may have to make this easier for everyone involved. When I have had babysitters watch my kids who are used to nursing to sleep, I give them 'permission' to not have a firm bedtime, or any bedtime. They can keep baby with them as they go about their lives, rather than banging their heads against the wall trying to 'get baby down.' This has worked well for me through three kids. All kids bedshared and nursed to sleep for years, and I have never really worried about not being home at bedtime.

    You did not ask about bottles, so I am not sure if you need info on how to make sure your child gets enough to eat and drink while you are gone. Again of course age would be a factor in this.
    Last edited by @llli*maddieb; December 4th, 2014 at 10:53 PM.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    24,794

    Default Re: Looming business trip -- need help!

    Would it be possible for your mom and baby to accompany you on your trip? Mom could stay at your hotel and care for the baby during the day, enabling you to come back and nurse at night.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Looming business trip -- need help!

    Thank you all so much for your suggestions! I apologize for not including her age -- she's thirteen months old. My husband will be joining me on the trip so my my mom will be staying home with her. I wish my mom could join us, that would make things so much easier! I think we may have to do a trial sleepover with grandma to see how she will do. She may surprise us all! Again, thanks for taking the time to reply. I really appreciate all of you!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    10,754

    Default Re: Looming business trip -- need help!

    Ok, well 13 months is very young and I would say your child is still very much a baby, developmentally. So that makes sleep training even less of something I would want to do, personally.

    I guess I am missing something, but if both you and your husband are going, couldn't you bring your child and have your husband care for your child while you work? Of course if this is a business trip for both of you, or you are wanting to combine a business trip with a short couple-only-time getaway, that is different.

    As far as a sleepover- how about a trial evening out instead (or at least at first.) What if you try a sleepover and it does not go well? You might find yourself under more pressure to do something you do not want to do.

    Also have you thought about milk extraction while you are gone? You will probably need to pump or hand express for your own health and comfort, as well as keeping milk production in good shape.

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