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Thread: New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort suck

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    Default New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort suck

    ^ and won't nap.

    I read most of the threads on this. and I've gathered:
    So long as weight gain isn't an issue, it's okay to let baby comfort nurse
    Fussing at the breast can either mean slow flow or a fast flow ( but I can't really tell which it is)


    What I couldn't determine is how to get some sleep. lol.

    Today, LO has just been wanting to be at the breast. I don't mind, really, she'll be seven weeks on sunday, and we had a rough start, so I figure a lot of what she's doing is catch up. It's also a benefit to me as that helps with my milk supply. We've been at it since....wow. since about 2AM this morning. I had a few breaks here and there were she didn't want to nurse and was content, she didn't even want to comfort suck.

    We co napped some time this afternoon for maybe an hour where I nursed her when she wanted it, but I still got sleep. I don't know if *she* got sleep.

    I've mentioned it in threads before: LO fights sleep as if it were going to kill her. yesterday she slept quite a bit while we did errands, and she nursed in between naps that day. yesterday in fact, such a "perfect' day as far as babies go, I'm wondering if that was just a calm before the storm.

    So, my questions are:

    1. Is this another growth spurt?
    2. Comfort suckling is okay by me, but how long should I let her do it?
    3. Is there a way to get her to sleep that isn't at my breast? our nursing chair is not comfortable, and she wakes up every time she's moved. She'll start crying as well if she's completely removed from the breast and set down to sleep some where else ( which is new, she's never done that before)
    4. How can I get more sleep while trying to meet her current needs? I don't mind the behavior today. Like I said, she may be playing catch up when she's actually eating, but I would like some sleep as well.
    5. why is she fussy at the breast? She's practically about to pull my nipple off, and although it's completely uncoordinated, she's kicking her feet,and also slapping/hitting my breast. my nipples are still pretty sensitive so the behavior really hurts. Sometimes she'll unlatch and start 'attacking' my breast, it makes it hard to get her to re latch, but when she does, she calms down.

    Thanks in advance.

    Edit: Incase it matters-
    Diaper output has been normal. She's had a lot of green poop though, it's had more substance in it, but still mucousy. For those familiar with our story- we saw the pediatrician on Thursday. She's been experiencing some blood in her stool ( not a lot, but frequent enough for me to go in) . Her Ped is saying she has an anal fissure, she may also have developed an intolerance to her formula- so she hasn't been bottle fed since thursday with her formula ( Similar 1). And just because- the blood in the stool has decreased, and it was never with every diaper.
    Last edited by @llli*cutiemark85; November 15th, 2014 at 11:31 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort su

    Do you do any baby wearing? That was the most helpful thing to get my youngest to sleep and keep him from waking when jostled. It seemed my son hit a growth spurt every other day at that age. We just nursed and nursed and nursed some more. Dh would usually watch the baby long enough for me to relax in the shower. Then i would catch up on life during those 'perfect' sleepy days. 6-10 weeks was the worst of the fussy unexplained newborn behavior IME.
    How much formula was she receiving daily before you stopped the bottles? It may be that you need to wean from any supplements slowly so that your supply can increase enough for baby to be fully satisfied. But again my son was never supplemented and acted the same way.
    http://kellymom.com/bf/concerns/chil...while-nursing/
    Last edited by @llli*zaynethepain; November 15th, 2014 at 11:53 PM.

  3. #3
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    Oct 2014
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    Default Re: New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort su

    she was on 80 mls of formula before we had to quit cold turkey. sometimes after hang the bottle, shed sill be hungry, so I'd bring her back to breast for as long as she needed. monday she didn't have one, but frequently nursed. tuesday was the same kind of behavior but she had one then, wednesday we were on a tour so she actually had two while we walked around. then thursday she had one at the dr.'s office before we went in and saw him.

    she's also accustom to switching breasts in one feeding. weight gain was an issue early on, but we've resolved it (her last weigh in was albs and 3.4oz). this week only has been the only time we haven't switched breasts during the same feeding- she's been falling a sleep after she's had her fill.when i burp or change her and offer the other breast, she refuses and will go back to sleep- so long as she's close to the breast.

    i dont do much baby wearing. we have a carrier, and thats it. after one thread, i looked into slings for days like this, but they're very expensive.; and i haven't found one at a consignment or discount place yet.

    I currently take motherlove for supply issues. it seems like my breasts are always full and heavy. I can express milk if i need too, but i only ever squirt when lo detaches and I'm trying to get her to re latch.

    DH would normally watch her, but since we had to stoop the formula, he's watched her less and less.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort su

    http://www.slingrings.com/
    Many moms catch that fast flow that squirts out in a towel or bottle and reattach baby when it's a calmed a bit. 3 oz (sorry can't think in ml) isn't so much that I'd worry about that being the cause. I felt my supply peaked at this age and it caused a bit of fussing due to fast flow and therefore needing to burp more often. A few weeks later my hormones calmed and my supply regulated to exactly what my boys need so I did half hearted compressions to get a faster let down. We called him goldilocks as something always had him fussing.

    My friend sewed me a ring sling for $15 dollars. I was ableto choose the exact fabric I wanted. Ds absolutely loves it and prefers it over our ergo though that worked when it was all we had before 6 weeks. She purchased the rings from the site above. I've also seen several moms locally sew there own Moby style wraps for a fraction of the cost. I'm part of a baby wearing swap and shop group on Facebook that has decent deals most of the time. Also, if you have a baby wearing international group near you, they often have a lending library that you can rent different carriers for something like $35 a year.

    If you can hand express milk or pump (some moms prefer cheap manual pumps over the more expensive electrics), would that be an option for dh?

  5. #5
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    Oct 2014
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    Default Re: New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort su

    I'll see if m friend has a mite to make me one. I haven't had time for projects myself. m main trouble is her nursing so frequently at night then only cat napping (if you could call it that). a ring sling won't really help in this case. i'm still iffy about co sleeping at night. but is that the only way to get sleep?

    lo is 7 weeks today but still cat napping and wanting to eat like mad. also extra fussy. so this is a phase?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort su

    Cosleeping is how we survived and still do tbh I was hesitant at first, but I now love it. I agree with the PP about a ring sling or moby type stretchy. You can usually get stretchy's cheap. I know UK places but not US tho. But all they are is 5 ish metres of jersey half the width of a standard piece of fabric (70 cm or so) and they aren't even hemmed as jersey doesn't fray. Facebook usually has mamas that have made their own and can share tips etc.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort su

    I've tried to read thoroughly, but might have missed this-- have you tried nursing side lying? Until about four months, this was my go-to at night but also during the day. Even if I wasn't able to SLEEP, I was able to be reclined and relaxed, and I think that can be pretty restorative too (obviously- there is no replacement for sleep).

    By "cat naps" in your most recent post, how long are you talking? I ask because I know when I was trying to figure this all out, I'd read all about these babies that would nap 2-3 hour stretches routinely. I'm sure some babies do this, but I think for many little ones, 30-50 minutes at a time might really be the longest you can hope for (this is about the length of a baby's sleep cycle, which are shorter than adults'). And for many babies even this length of time might really require mama to be within touching distance. And I think this is totally normal. For some families, gentle sleep training is something they consider, but most experts don't advise this as an option until minimum 6 months, because making sure baby is getting sufficient intake etc is still very much a concern up until that point.
    Last edited by @llli*erin.in.middletown; November 17th, 2014 at 06:10 AM. Reason: Added "I ask because..."

  8. #8
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    Default Re: New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort su

    http://www.pinkymckay.com/how-can-i-...an-45-minutes/

    Some babies really don't need to sleep more than one 45-55 minute sleep cycle. This is one of those baby 'expert' perpetuated myths like all babies should be sleeping twelve hours at three months. My oldest was cranky and obviously tired when he woke before two hours but my youngest is often happy as can be after 45 minutes. No amount of effort will get him to sleep longer. I'll look in The Baby Sleep Book as I think Dr Sears mentions even twentyminutenaps are the norm for some. Also, my youngest took four or five short naps at that age but consolidated down to two around 5 months old.
    Bedsharing has been the only way my family has gotten any sleep but I never really tried to push independent sleep. The first night I brought my oldest home, I spent 30 minutes getting him to sleep only to have him wake immediately when placed in the bassinet. I said "F*#@ this" and brought him into bed. He still refused to nurse anywhere but my rocking chair for months so i know how exhausting getting out of bed for every feeding gets, starting at the clock and resentful at this creature for just not cooperating. My youngest side nursed from day 1. I've never felt unrested even on his worst nights. I have vivid memories of being terrified to sleep alone as a young child and fighting my mom until she gave in and slept on the couch with me. I grew out of it and was the best sleeper I knew as an adult. So I'm giving my boys the security they need now (and maximizing my sleep) while having faith it's only temporary. My oldest already leaves me at the door to his preschool with out so much as a good bye. I know it's not right for everyone but I don't have any advice other than try reading the books/websites in the link for their best crib advice

  9. #9
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    Default Re: New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort su

    thanks every one.

    when I say cat nap, it *feels* like it's less than 10 minutes of sleep. There are times where she'll fall a sleep, but will wake up, and be wide awake immediately.
    I noticed if I put her down, NOT in her bassinet ( say, my bed for a few minutes) she'll continue to sleep. the last few nights, we've co slept. I'd basically reached me ***** it point, I need sleep, and brought her in bed with me and side nursed. So yes we are side nursing, occasionally, but not often as I'm still a touch terrified of SIDS. Of the time that I brought her into bed with me, I only needed just a few more hours of sleep.

    However, it's not like i got much sleep then, my breasts are very large, so I spent more time making sure she wasn't being suffocated by them.

    I'm probably not making sense again. But, I would like some sleep...I would also like her to sleep, because then she gets overly tired and cranky at everything. ( and I try everything to help her sleep, seems like nothing works other than my holding her, or sleeping with her.) I should just give in and just go with what works, but it really is in grained in me that she needs to sleep in her own bed, because if she doesn't, she will be spoiled and will not be independent and have some deep seeded separation anxiety issues.

    That's my train of thought anyways.. it's nice to hear that a lot of your children , and yourselves never ended up that way. So I can only hope.

    Edit:

    Something she does do a lot of- when she's tired, she gives me hunger cues. She's feeding on demand, so I feed her until she sleeps ( like I can't wake her up no matter what I do), but when she wakes up, she wakes up upset because she's not on the breast. She doesn't take pacifiers. ( we've tried when we're pretty sure she just wants to suck on something.) So I'm not sure if I'm creating a bad habit by letting her do this and just catering to the behavior when she wakes up.

    I guess...all i can really say is...help? Because my mother hasn't been helpful ( she basically has been telling me i've been parenting wrong, in the nicest way possible) and my friends can't really relate and provide advice.
    Last edited by @llli*cutiemark85; November 18th, 2014 at 07:21 PM.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: New situation : Fussy at the breast, wants to comfort su

    All my family are pretty anti the fact we breastfeed and co-sleep and use a sling... My Mum went as far as to tell my extended family that my church was a cult that demanded I do these things... lol!

    Have a read of Dr Sears and James McKenna and you'll see cosleeping and SIDS risk is dramatically inflated and cultures that routinely cosleep and breastfeed such as Japan actually have the lowest SIDs rates... That's not to say don't cosleep safely... Definitely take sensible precautions but try to see both sides of the coin. Plus cosleeping can mean setting up a crib/cot in a side car arrangement to give more space etc.

    As for reassurance I don't know ANY cosleeping breastfeeding 18 year olds, babies/children will move out/away when they are developmentally ready!

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