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Thread: Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

  1. #1
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    Default Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

    my sister says that most babies need pacifers b/c they will cry when not on the boob. After you've fed a baby and taken care of anything that might be the cause of his/her crying, the only thing that may soothe would be a pacifer.

    How can you avoid using one, when the cries become hard to manage?
    Mom to Colin Robert - Born on January 28, 2007

    Check out my website:
    www.nycbreastfeeding.com

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

    geez,
    I would like to hear the answers to this one myself.....
    I only got two hours of sleep because of this - how can you even tell if they are still hungry?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

    I had one baby that didn't like a passy. Dr sears has a lot of good ideas on his web site for fussy babies.
    http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T051200.asp
    A sling worked wonders for her. She loved to be carried and cried less then my babies that did take a passy.
    heres a good link
    http://www.llli.org/FAQ/spoil.html
    heres a quote from that link
    "Pacifiers can cause nipple confusion in some babies, but may be useful in some situations. Proceed with caution, if you use one"
    most newborns have a high need to be with mom, and breastfeeding makes them feal loved. Some need to nurse 12 times in 24 hours and thats normal for them.
    and sometimes if a baby is high needs it takes mom a while to figure that baby out. My William was my high needs baby and it took about 2 months to figure out how to make him happy. I didn't have a sling back then and he was nursed but he did do alot of crying that I couldn't figure out.
    I can remember the day when hubby came home and I told him I finaly figured this baby out. I think he was 4 months old
    you'll get it.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

    It does take time to learn what your baby needs and it can be frustrating not to know. Don't worry, you will get it in time, but it's a learned skill, not some magical mothering instinct that dawns on you the minute you're handed the baby.

    Every baby is different, but a few things that typically soothe most babies: Obviously, sucking is the biggest, most effective soother. Motion is another big soother. I also found the sling to be wonderful! But it took me a couple of tries to get the hang of it. Some people like swings for the motion or you can just carry him walking and bouncing. Patting his back also turns on that motion camling. Sounds are soothing. Make a loud "shhhing" noise or sing or play music. Try combinations of these things. Mine would be calmed if I carried him leaning over one shoulder too. Something about gentle pressure on the stomach.

    Get the book "happiest baby on the block" by Harvey Karp. There are many more common sense solutions like these that are very effective. HTH.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

    A very wise mom once asked me, "What would you rather do, nurse or listen to crying?" It seems so obvious now but at the time with a newborn and being postpartum it was not. So we increased nursing and my baby became more contented. I had to get past all the other things that needed doing and learn to give in to the baby for a few months until she got bigger and needed me less.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

    Quote Originally Posted by pipsmom View Post
    Get the book "happiest baby on the block" by Harvey Karp. There are many more common sense solutions like these that are very effective. HTH.
    Someone gave us this book and it was very helpful. I don't necessarily agree with all his theories (4th trimester??) but the advice for soothing was very helpful and practical - basically 5 "S" of soothing:

    "shhhh", side or stomach position, swing or sway, sucking, and swaddling

    with lots of detailed things to try

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

    my son had a really intense need to suck. i was getting worn out from him using me as a paci, so after I knew that he was latched on well, I gave him a paci.

    DH and I agreed that we'd get rid of it a 4 months if he hadn't already, and what do ya know?....he quit using it and found his fingers at 3 months. If he was hungry I'd always nurse him, but if he was fussing and had just finished eating, I'd give him the pacy, rock him, and let him suck to his heart's content w/out having sore nipples. this is just what we did. Never had any latch issues or milk supply issues (other than too much) so the pacifiers didn't worry us at all.

    HTH,
    Leslie
    All over the world there exists in every society a small group of women who feel themselves strongly attracted to giving care to other women during pregnancy and childbirth. Failure to make use of this group of highly motivated people is regrettable and a sin against the principle of subsidiary. ~ Dr. Kloosterman, Chief of OB/GYN, Univ. of Amsterdam, Holland


    **Leslie**

    Mama to:
    Shiloh (5/6/06) Nursed for 13 months and Josephine (7/26/08) Nursed for 23.5 mos Currently nursing my new little firecracker, Finley Catherine, born on the 4th of July!!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

    I really wanted to avoid using a paci because I was concerned about what I'd read about the negative effects they can have on latch and breastfeeding success. I was lucky because I never really missed it. I guess I'd never known life with one.
    Early comforting was swaddling/cuddling/singing/having him in the baby carrier on me and lots of holding Sam while jiggling/swaying.

    I saw Dr Karp talking on a TV show about the 5 s's when Sam was really small and it really worked - it was actually quite spooky! I even wrote to the TV show to say so! I would definitely read about that technique.

    I think the main thing is to try and understand why your baby might need to be soothed in the first place - read their body language and their sounds. Try and work out what they might be telling you. I saw the clip of the Australian baby woman on Oprah (it's on her site) about sounds newborns make - that was an interesting idea!

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

    Quote Originally Posted by nywifey View Post
    my sister says that most babies need pacifers b/c they will cry when not on the boob. After you've fed a baby and taken care of anything that might be the cause of his/her crying, the only thing that may soothe would be a pacifer.

    How can you avoid using one, when the cries become hard to manage?

    In addition to the 5 S's mentioned by pp and slinging, and of course checking the diaper, making sure nothing was too tight or too loose (one time I found a thread wrapped tightly around his finger ), and being sure he wasn't too hot or too cold, I always found it helpful to remember that sometimes baby's just cry. The world is new and they are organizing themselves to it. Don't you feel better after a good cry sometimes? I always felt that as long as I was there, and ds was not hurting, I was doing all I could. I would just hold him and rock him or dance with him with soothing music. Baths would help too and offer lots of skin to skin contact.

    I would urge you to ALWAYS follow your instincts. As his mama your intuition will tell if it's more than just a need to cry. If you feel there are medical issues or notice patterns to when the cries occur call your ped.

    I will paraphrase what a wise mama once said to me, "He's not using you like a pacifier, he's using a pacifier like it's you." Babies have a strong need to suck for survival and for comfort. Comfort sucking is ok. If your lo learns to trust that you will meet his/ her (sorry I didn't see what you have! ) needs - and at this stage the wants and needs are one and the same- then this will set the basis for trust through out the rest of your relationship. Nature ensures that a bf mama meets her babies needs by releasing hormones (specifically prolactin, the mothering hormone) that make mama physically uncomfortable when she hears her lo cry. You are meant to comfort baby at your breast because it meets all of your baby's needs- physically and emotionally! I know this doesn't make it easier when your lo just wants to NURSE and NURSE and NURSE, but that knowledge can sometimes make you grin and bear through it... it does get easier!

    One last thought... you didn't mention how old your LO is but don't forget about the growth spurts at 3 weeks, 6weeks and 3 months-- baby will want to nurse lots then!

    ETA.. sorry! after I posted I saw you are still preggo! yay! I can tell how much you are ready to mother your baby and are taking steps to prepare yourself. May I make a suggestion? If possible, attend a local LLL meeting. There you can see bf in action and also meet leaders so that if you have problems or concerns, you won't feel like you are reaching out for help by calling a stranger. It would be wise to take their numbers to the hospital with you! :-)
    Last edited by LLL_Kristie; December 2nd, 2006 at 01:09 PM.
    Kristie L.
    LLL Leader
    (the poster formerly known as fezzik812)
    Wife to Brett, Mommy to Seamus (5.1.05), and Emelie (1.18.08)
    "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Ghandi

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Besides the nipple what else can soothe?

    My new baby has periods during the day where he actually won't be soothed by the breast -- I have a strong letdown combined with oversupply and so he always gets a lot of milk when he sucks. If he just wants to suck, the milk makes him so angry. How I know this is that he suckles for a little bit then spits out the nipple and fusses at me if I keep offering. In some ways, it reminds me of the fussing my first did due to acid reflux, but this usually only happens in the evenings, and my first cried all day, so I'm pretty sure it's not acid reflux.

    Having used a paci with the first baby, I decided to NEVER do that again. Those a pain in the rear! Heaven help you if you lose it, can't find the favored brand, whatever. It was more hassle than it was worth. The only time I've wished for one was in the car -- Colton sometimes seems to want to suck in the car, and it would make life a little easier then. But I've decided to not even start there.

    This time, when Colton seems to need to suck but he won't suck on the breast, we use a clean finger. He prefers my ring finger, DH's pinky. The nails on one hand are shorter than on the other to facilitate this When he won't relatch to the breast but still tries to suckle his fingers, we try a finger, and that often settles him right down.

    I will also stick him in the sling and move around a bit while watching TV or listening to music. That always works.

    And wearing a baby several hours a day really does help them not be fussy. I have noticed a distinct difference in the evenings on days where I have worn Colton for >2 hours versus the days I didn't -- he's fussy on those evenings, and nothing makes him happy. Fortunately, he doesn't scream, only fuss a bit.

    But I always start with offering to nurse. If they are hungry, they will nurse. If they want to suck, they do that, at least for a little while. Either way, the baby isn't crying at that moment.

    You'll build up a stockpile of tricks, based on what your child seems to like.
    Susan
    Mama to my all-natural boys: Ian, 9-4-04, 11.5 lbs; Colton, 11-7-06, 9 lbs, in the water; Logan, 12-8-08, 9 lbs; Gavin, 1-18-11, 9 lbs; and an angel 1-15-06
    18+ months and for Gavin, born with an incomplete cleft lip and incomplete posterior cleft palate
    Sealed for time and eternity, 7-7-93
    Always babywearing, cosleeping and cloth diapering. Living with oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD. Ask me about cloth diapering and sewing your own diapers!

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