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Thread: SNS/Lact-aid in public?

  1. #1

    Default SNS/Lact-aid in public?

    Hello! This is my first post around here. We will be adopting a newborn within the next year (God-willing!), and I have been researching induced lactation. I hope to produce some milk (without drugs/with herbs, wish me luck!) but know I will need to supplement. My question is... how in the world will I do this if I'm out and about with my baby? I know I will have to get over my shyness with nursing our adopted baby, and I'm all for breastfeeding in public, but how will I not let the whole world know I'm supplementally nursing my baby? Maybe there's no way around it, which is okay. Any thoughts about being discreet with a supplemental nursing system?

    Thanks for all your help!
    Tara

  2. #2
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    Default Re: SNS/Lact-aid in public?

    Welcome to the forum!

    Nursing a newborn is tricky, and most nursing moms find that they don't really want to go out in public much during the first few weeks. It's tough enough to latch a newborn on when you're sitting home in your pjs, in your comfy chair, with all your pillows around you! With the SNS in play, latching and nursing is likely to be even more complicated than for a mom who can provide all her child's nutrition at the breast. So I think you need to give yourself plenty of time to master nursing, whether that involves the SNS or not. Once you and your baby are more adept, and the baby has better head and body control, then you start girding yourself and going out in public. You watch yourself in a mirror, to see just how much is showing. You experiment with nursing shirts and covers. Eventually, you get where you want to be- usually there is far less showing than we fear!

  3. #3
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    Default Re: SNS/Lact-aid in public?

    By the time you are ready for public in general, you will likely be more prepared to show off and even explain the SNS or lactaid to the curious.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: SNS/Lact-aid in public?

    Hi Tara, will this be your first baby, or first breastfed baby? I am wondering if you are feeling you will be more shy with an adopted baby, or if you mean shy about NIP in general. This baby will be YOUR baby, to feed as you choose, and adopted babies have been nursed by their adoptive mothers probably for the history of mankind. Prior to bottles and formulas, babies would die if they were not nursed by someone.

    I think that once you get the hang of it, it will be fine. I agree that usually in the early weeks or months, NIP is the least of anyone's worries, because the entire newborn period is so overwhelming. This is true for all new parents! You will also be inducing lactation which will, I assume, mean you will be pumping too, so that is even more reason to not worry about nursing in public quite yet. It just won't come up that often for a while!

    When you do venture out, let me assure you that the whole world won't know a thing. Most people pay very little attention, and once they figure out a mom is trying to nurse (with or without a lactation aid) they politely make a point of looking elsewhere. People that do look are usually supportive and that is why they are bothering to look.

    There is no shame in supplementing your child at the breast, anymore than there is shame in breastfeeding in public without supplementing (OR in bottle feeding in public, for that matter.) Lots is made online about people feeling this or that in public due to their feeding choice, but a situation where anyone ever actually says anything to anyone are fairly rare. And when it does happen, it is usually some overzealous employee of whatever business the mom is in saying something, usually to ask a mom to 'cover up' etc. In such a situation, you are breastfeeding and whatever rights apply to breastfeeding in public should apply to you. Whether you are supplementing or not is irrelevant. So know the law, but also know that it is unlikely to ever come up. I have nursed three kids in all kinds of situations and have not had any kind of confrontation yet, although I kind of wish it would happen since I am so prepared...

    Every mom figures out her own way. Not every mom is going to be comfortable NIP and that is ok too. Some moms always make a point of going places with nursing rooms or some reasonable facsimile. In a case such as yours, a mom might nurse in public but save supplementing at the breast for when she is home (Depending on many factors you may not need to supplement or use a lactation aid at every nursing session even if baby requires supplements.) Others choose to bottle feed in public, and in that case it is ok as long as it is done carefully and mindfully with knowledge about the potential issues it can cause for nursing.

    I assume you have researched inducing lactation, but here is some places for info just in case: The book: Making More Milk (latest science on milk production written in mom-friendly language) LLL info: http://www.lalecheleague.org/nb/nbadoptive.html and this very informative website: http://www.fourfriends.com/abrw/

    Also there are two types of lactation aids available commercially (that I am aware of) - the Medela SNS and the Lact-Aid http://www.lact-aid.com/ I suggest research both options.
    Last edited by @llli*maddieb; September 6th, 2014 at 01:08 AM.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: SNS/Lact-aid in public?

    When I've nursed in public, the only even remotely negative comment I've gotten was from DH feeling uncomfortable about it the "uh, should you really be doing that HERE?" and I said of course I should.

    Every other notice or comment actually seemed rather supportive or even extra full of Praise for what I was doing.

  6. #6

    Default Re: SNS/Lact-aid in public?

    Thank you so much for all your replies!

    @llli*maddieb, this will be our first for everything! First baby, first breastfeeding, etc. I feel I will be more shy about nursing our adopted baby since people won't understand I do like what you said, that this is what people have been doing since the beginning of time! Our baby may not even look like us (I'm talking ethnicity) so I guess it will be even more obvious that I'm not nursing a baby I birthed. I guess my biggest shyness will be because people won't understand how I could be nursing a baby I didn't birth, or why I would want to do that. Which I guess will make for lots of interesting conversations. I feel like at least our close group of friends will understand, so at least we will have that support.

    I pray, pray, pray that I will produce enough milk to not supplement in public! Or at night. That would be so amazing. But I'm probably dreaming. Especially if I don't want to use drugs.

    Thank you also for those book suggestions! I saw the LLL one on adoptive breastfeeding and look forward to ordering it. Also, Making More Milk. I hadn't seen that one before so will look into that one. I've read more good reviews about the Lact-Aid than the SNS but will still look into both.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: SNS/Lact-aid in public?

    Once you are in the breastfeeding world for a awhile, you become aware of many stories of situations you may have never heard of or even considered before. For example, adoptive mothers nursing their children-even children they did not adopt as newborns but as older babies and even toddlers. Mothers who nursed adopted children of different ethnicities. Grandmothers, aunts, and friends who nursed children not born to them or adopted by them. Mothers who donate their pumped milk to people they do not know. Birth mothers who pumped milk for the child that had been adopted, surrogates who do the same...

    Some people are going to wonder "why do these things?" There are plenty of people who wonder why anyone breastfeeds at all, in any circumstance, any age child. But this is only because we have become a society that no longer sees breastfeeding as teh norm and consequently no longer values breastfeeding, culturally. In societies where breastfeeding is the norm, the attitude toward these actions is very different.

    The answer is simple. These are all acts of love.

    Breastfeeding is not entirely about the milk. Nursing at the breas,t no matter what goes into baby, has benefits-both physiological and other. To often we make breastfeeding about the milk. But that is not the whole story by a long shot!

    I know you do not want to take meds, which I assume includes hormones. That is fine! But I think this article by Jack Newman my be helpful in his perspective about the value of nursing .Yes, he has a protocol for mothers (who choose it) that includes hormones and domperidone. He defends that protocol here, but that is not why I am suggesting you read this, or read it again. What I am suggesting is to look at and consider the attitude towards nursing that Newman learned from the first adoptive nursing mother that he helped. Meds and hormomes are not always the right choice, it depends on many things, and of course depends mostly on what a mother is comfortable with doing. Hormones and meds are NOT the only way to attempt to induce lactation, and certainly are not needed in order for an adoptive mother to nurse her child. Even if baby is entirely living & growing on donor milk or formula, they can still nurse. http://www.fourfriends.com/abrw/Perspectives/jack.htm

    Even if you make NO milk- not a single drop, ever, it is often possible to nurse a child without a supplementer SOME of the time. Because for a baby, it is never entirely about the milk. Nursing is about much much more than that for a child.

    And if a mom finds her baby cannot nurse, she can choose to bottle feed in a way that is respectful of baby and offers a more normal and connected feeding experience for her and baby as well. There are many ways to approach the many situations mothers and babies find themselves in. There is no wrong or right- there is only what works best for that mom and baby.

    (PS I just wanted to make sure you were aware of the Lact Aid option)
    Last edited by @llli*maddieb; September 7th, 2014 at 10:55 AM.

  8. #8

    Default Re: SNS/Lact-aid in public?

    Thank you, maddieb! I enjoyed that article very much. I know it is so much more important about the attachment side of it, not only the nutrition. I am so very attached to the idea of being able to nurse my babies, whether or not they get all their nourishment from me. There's some strong mama desire inside of me for it, even if I never am pregnant or bear a child.

    What forum/article could I read about mamas whose babies can't nurse, but can bottle feed in a respectful baby way? I would love to know more about that. We are also researching foster care where I know all this is a little more dicey, so I anticipate needed a way to bond and attach with baby while feeding without breastfeeding.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: SNS/Lact-aid in public?

    I think this forum is good for bottle-feeding moms as well as for those who feed straight from the tap. We have lots of working moms and some exclusively pumping moms- they're the ones who know (and care) about how to make bottle-feeding as much like breastfeeding as possible.

    Even if you never manage to breastfeed at all, even if you bottle-feed in the absolute "wrong" way, even if you adopt a 5 year-old who is long since done with nursing and bottles, you're still going to attach just fine to your future child. So arm yourself with that confidence, mama!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: SNS/Lact-aid in public?

    I agree with mommal. Whatever you are experiencing in your mothering journey, you can probably find support and information here.

    There are many ways to promote attachment and trust that a parent can do when feeding baby or any other time. Most will probably just come naturally to you and you wont have to think about it. But because we live in a society where some of these practices have been frowned on in the past, and parents admonished that they can 'spoil' a baby etc, they can be areas where new parents become confused by this and do not trust their own instincts about it. Also there are times our own instincts are suppressed for whatever reason and we do not know what to do. I experienced this in the hours after I had my first child via C-section and that experience left me feeling very cut off from myself and my baby. I remember lying in the hospital bed listening to my baby coo in his bassinet put I did not have the urge to pick him up. I wish now someone had told me to pick him up and hold him even when I did not have the urge.
    So some things to try are:
    Holding baby lots. Newborns expect to be held by their parents most of the time. They do not typically wish to be put down. And parents usually do want to hold baby a lot. So it works out.
    Skin to skin contact between mom (or dad) and baby.
    Responding to babies cues, including but not exclusive to cries.
    Lots of kisses, smelling ,grooming, stroking, patting, holding babies hand, even licking baby. If you have any of those urges, its normal and fine to follow them.
    Talking/singing/humming to baby a lot. It does not matter if it makes no sense.
    When bottle feeding, let baby have control over the milk flow. The information below will show how.
    Mothers do not breastfeed in one position, so feel free to switch positions when bottle feeding as well.
    "switch sides"-give baby bottle from both arms. No need to obsess to do this 'evenly.' Just as is comfortable for you.

    Some more info:

    The scoop on bottles and nipples: Separating fact from marketing when choosing a bottle and nipple: http://thebreastfeedingmother.blogsp...quest-for.html
    Alternatives to bottles: finger and cup feeding: http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...ename=doc-F-CF Cup feeding video: http://www.breastfeedinginc.ca/conte...me=vid-cupfeed
    paced bottle feeding (works for exclusively bottle fed baby too) http://www.llli.org/docs/00000000000...astfedbaby.pdf and video http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=...FD00534CAAC56E

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