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Thread: 4 month old distraught if I'm not around; won't take bottle

  1. #1

    Exclamation 4 month old distraught if I'm not around; won't take bottle

    My daughter's been EBF since day 1. Myself and her dad both work at home and we don't have help, so she gets lots of us. I've been nursing on demand; and as of the past month, despite my efforts to dis-associate the breast with falling asleep... she will only fall asleep from nursing. Would be fine with me except I have to teach a night course starting in 2 weeks. I'm more worried about the 8-hour orientation in 1 week. I've never been away from her. We have been trying me going out for 1/2 hour a day but she cries so hard when I'm not around, she chokes and gags, goes purply and then almost light blue around her mouth. Her dad is pretty unflappable but when she cries with him, he calls me yelling HELP. It's a pretty fierce cry. She doesn't take a paci; HATES it and I can't see her ever giving in on it. Have tried since she was wee.We started our campaign maybe 2 weeks ago, of giving her the bottle or paci during active alert time, to get her more used to them. No success, she chews and doesn't suck. Now we are trying to get her to take a bottle at feeding time (tried diff nipples, bottles). She won't latch on/suck. The leaking milk drips down her chin. Tried twice to use a cup using online direx - she doesn't get that, either. When I hold her and try to get her to sleep (since she only nurses to sleep) she is relentless and determined in getting to my breast. I hate to make her cry by "withholding"- So this is an issue which is tied in to my having to be away from her. Don't laugh but I am wondering if a baby can choke from crying so hard? And any suggestions re comforting, bottle feeding, and disassociating her from my breast at nap and bedtime, are all welcome!

  2. #2

    Default Re: 4 month old distraught if I'm not around; won't take bot

    Wow, that's incredibly stressful! She sounds bit like my son -- separation anxiety set in really early and I couldn't even take a 5 minute shower without him falling apart. I didn't have to deal with going back to work though, so we could just wait it out.

    How long are you normally going to be gone (aside from the orientation)? If it's not too long a stretch (say 3 or 4 hours?), your baby may be fine just waiting for you to get home and not need a bottle.

    The orientation is a whole other situation. Not only will she need to eat during that time, but you'll need to pump at least once or you're likely to get REALLY uncomfortable. Would it be possible for someone to bring your baby to the site where the orientation is so you can nurse at lunchtime?

    It sounds like the biggest issue may be just the separation itself -- getting her to feel comfortable being with dad while you're gone. Have you ever tried having him take her someplace by himself? To the park or the grocery store or whatever? I'm wondering if being out someplace where there are things to see and where she doesn't necessarily expect you to be would distract her from missing you a bit.

    There was a mom-to-mom column about bottle refusal in Breastfeeding Today a while back... Maybe there's something in there that would be useful:

    Mom-to-Mom: Back to Work
    Karen
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