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Thread: Night-time advice for a weekend without boob

  1. #1

    Question Night-time advice for a weekend without boob

    Hi there,
    I'm going away for a weekend when ds is 16 months in 2 months time. We co-sleep. I've left him overnight before with a family member and she co-slept with him but leading up to that we weaned him off night feeds to make it less traumatic. That time, it was easy to wean him off and only took two weeks. I had stopped feeding to sleep a month before, then I reduced how long I was feeding, then I offered water and when he wasn't feeding at all he snoozed with dh for three nights to make sure he'd be ok without me there.
    Even though I've 2 months to prepare I can't seem to make any inroads into it now. It was so easy and tear-free last time I thought it would be again. In retrospect I should have continued on not feeding him at night and having him snooze with dh.
    I tried Jay Gordon's technique; we started just not feeding him to sleep. I thought this would be easy as he doesn't get fed to sleep half the time anyway but he insisted this particular time and was very displeased when I fed him and left him awake. We were awake for three hours distracting him and trying to get him back asleep before I gave up. Last time we left him overnight I could arm family member with a bottle as a sure-fire way of pacifying him but now he refuses bottle. (As well as beaker, cup etc that he'd usually sip from during day)
    I will be getting him to snooze with dh again but not sure how that'll go. Dh will be looking after him that weekend and he is very attached to dh and co-sleeps with him during the day but he's so determined to get boob at night now I don't really know what to do about it. Even when I'm not there, he still wants boob.
    Any other suggestions for what I can do over the next two months? Although I'm worried about ds that weekend I'd like to wean him from night feeds for my own sake as well. I'd be happy to stop co-sleeping too but he doesn't seem ready for that.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Night-time advice for a weekend without boob

    Is your son staying with the same care giver who will co-sleep with him? I think it will be fine, as long as she is aware he may wake at night and may not only need comforting but also may be hungry or thirsty. you can help prepare her by giving her a list of other things that calm him should he get upset, foods he likes, books he likes, games he likes, music, whatever. I am sure if your child wakes thirsty, he will drink from a cup or whatever he is offered. It is amazing what kids will do with a caregiver they won't do with a parent.

    You do not say how old your child was the last time, but separation anxiety is pretty common at this age (middle of second year) even if it was not before. And that is typically true of ALL children, even those who never nursed or co-slept in their lives. So I am not sure you will get away with an easy and tear free separation, even if baby was not used to nursing at night. Also, I don't see how NOT meeting your child's normal nighttime need to nurse and sleep with you for several months is a reasonable tradeoff, even if that was likely to make any difference. But that is only my opinion.

    As far as how to night wean, I personally have found that to be a labor intensive process that usually was not worth it and resulted in less sleep for everyone, especially at such a young age. But basically, you can replace the comfort of nursing with some other comfort, slowly & gradually lengthening the time between nursing sessions to whatever your goal is.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006

    Default Re: Night-time advice for a weekend without boob

    What LLLMeg said.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Night-time advice for a weekend without boob

    Thanks all. It's actually DH that'll be minding him. He slept with him in another room a few nights after I posted here and he was fine. Much to my shock and delight! I was obviously giving my boobs too much credit! Boob guilt! He doesn't like being refused boob when they're in front of him and gets very upset when we're not there to co-sleep with him but I was thinking of it all as boob-related. Lucky to have him so attached to DH I think. Looks like I'll be retiring myself as chief co-sleeper

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