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Thread: Been advised to stop breastfeeding 2yr3month old daughter

  1. #1

    Unhappy Been advised to stop breastfeeding 2yr3month old daughter

    Hi Ladies.

    Please help with any advise or personal experience. My daughter is 2yrs and 3months old and we have gone strong with breastfeeding. She only feeds at night to get to sleep or when she is sick or unsettled. She only wants Mom at night to put her down as she gets "boobie". Dad is a bit sad that she doesn't want him. But now i am going in on the 25th of this month for a hysterectomy and to remove tumors on my ovaries and my doc has said it's time to stop bf, he has given me a script to dry my milk up. I'm in two minds, as her paed, our gp and my gynae have all said time to stop, but she gets such comfort from it. Sometimes i still love it and other times it's not so nice as she bites a bit when falling off to sleep and makes me sore and it is cold now so half my body sticks out. How do i stop the night feeds. I read somewhere that they did 3 night time pictures and explained to a 3yr old that when the pictures are all down then it's no more feeding on Mommy, but will my little girl understand this. A friend also said to get her a special soft toy that is the "no more boobie" friend/toy. And she can form an attachment to this. Please help, i am running out of time to stop. The doc suggested i just take the meds in the hospital and come home with no more milk, but i feel like that won't be right as last year i was away for 2 nights and we thought she may just not want it when i got back . . . .but that was her first request "boobie pease mommy". So i don't want to be stuck with an upset child when i will be in pain and trying to recover. Therefore wanting to do it before.

    Thank you.

    xxx

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,475

    Default Re: Been advised to stop breastfeeding 2yr3month old daughte

    I'm confused. Do you want to wean? Why are you being told it is 'time to stop'? Is there some medical concern?
    No Child health organization of any repute suggests that a child must wean by any particular age. And the world health organization specifically recommend that children nurse until they are at least two years old.
    Additionally a multi species study indicates that the natural age of human weaning is sometime between two and seven years.
    This is not to say you should continue nursing your child if you truly wish to stop. And I have no idea what your medical issues would mean as far as your milk production. However I did want to let you know that I do not see, based on the information you have given in your post, why it is "time to stop" unless you want to stop.
    Your child already nurses very infrequently so Weaning is happening. Weaning is typically a process that happens over many months or years.

    If you wish to wean more quickly there are two excellent books I suggest one is called how weaning happens and the other one is called the nursing mothers guide to weaning. For night time issues specifically Elizabeth Pantley's the no cry sleep solution may be helpful.
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; June 19th, 2014 at 06:26 PM.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,005

    Default Re: Been advised to stop breastfeeding 2yr3month old daughte

    I also don't understand why your doctors think you should wean. Did they suggest an actual medical reason, or was it more of a social comment (e.g. child is "too old" to nurse or to need to nurse anymore), or more of a hypothetical concern (e.g. nursing could make you too tired in the aftermath of the surgery).

    My mom had a hysterectomy a few years ago and it was very significant surgery. She was told there would be a 6 week recovery period, but I think it took her several months longer than that to feel completely well. Of course, she's in her 60s and you're probably a lot younger. But then she didn't have to pick up or chase after a toddler, either. One reason to consider preserving your nursing relationship is that I'm sure you'll need to take it easy after surgery, and find ways to entertain/distract/comfort your child without picking her up. Having her come up and nurse could help with that. Of course, it could also be rough on your incision...
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    359

    Default Re: Been advised to stop breastfeeding 2yr3month old daughte

    It sounds like the doctors are presenting their social opinion on weaning and not an informed medical one. I would decline the script for drying up milk.

    The Hippocratic oath states, "first, do no harm", but forcibly weaning a child cold turkey is doing exactly that. These doctors need to look in the mirror and give their heads a shake. They are violating the first tenet of their profession.

    You aren't going to be able to gently wean your daughter in less than a week. Once a day is such a minimal commitment for her happiness that I'd definitely maintain the nursing relationship as long as she likes. You'll be fine to nurse with an abdominal incision if you do side lying with a thin pillow covering your abdomen. I did this after a c-section and had no problems.

    Good luck with your surgery.
    Last edited by @llli*alphawoman; June 19th, 2014 at 08:55 PM.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
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    france
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    Default Re: Been advised to stop breastfeeding 2yr3month old daughte

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*lovemybabe View Post
    The doc suggested i just take the meds in the hospital and come home with no more milk

    xxx
    that is a very harsh thing for your doctor to suggest! Shame on that doctor
    as for the paed, gyno, gp etc it does sound like social input, not medical advice and to this I would suggest shut it out and listen to yourself and your own feelings. Once a day doesn't seem much trouble and from what I understand the comfort and trust you provide your child will help her self confidence later on in life. Children are very sensitive to what goes on and your child may understand that, if you can explain to her that mommy needs bed/rest time to feel better.

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