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Thread: Can I really do this?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    45

    Default Can I really do this?

    Hi this is my first post and I really hope you can give me some advice. My baby girl is almost 5 months old. I initially breastfed her for 15 days. I gave up after feeling very ill with and infection and I also suffered pnd. It was a dark time for me and my head was in a bad place. I am now feeling much stronger and really feel like I missed out on the breastfeeding and still feel very guilty. She latched on fine when I was breastfeeding. Although her weight gain started to slow down. I now believe this to be due to me barely eating or drinking due to feeling so unwell.
    I tried her on my breast yesterday to see what would happen but she turned away and wouldnt go anywhere near. I feel terrible that I have done this to my baby girl.
    I started to pump yesterday but only with a manual pump. I have ordered an electric hospital grade pump to rent for 14 days, which should hopefully arrive today. I havent got anything from my breasts so far. I have also ordered some fenugreek caps.
    Do u think I can get some milk back after all this time? My girl is fine with formula but I feel I need to try this properly or regret it forever.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
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    22

    Default Re: Can I really do this?

    I am not super experienced but from what i understand, relactation is possible! keep trying to get her to "nurse" or even just use u as a paci. From what I have read, nipple stimulation is key. I am sure one of the Queens here can give you more detailed advice about this..
    I also had pnd- you have to know that you did what you felt was best for you and baby at the time. PND can be really crippling, and A formula fed baby with a happy, nurturing mama is better than a miserable mama who is continuing to BF just for the "principle". I say this because I thought I was going to have to take medication that would have made me unable to nurse, and I was really beating myself up about it.
    BF is important, but you MUST consider your health and your ability to care for your baby first and foremost, don't you agree? I applaud your efforts to try to start BF, and I hope that you have success with relactation! Keep us posted : )

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    45

    Default Re: Can I really do this?

    Thanks so much for your reply. I agree with everything you say. It is hard to shake the guilt though. I think now im feeling stronger, I need to give it another try. I got a medela pump for hire and have started pumping. Nothing yet but I know its very early. I really hope I can produce some milk eventually. Even a little is better than nothing. I think it will be hard getting her to latch though, she still turns away and makes no attempt. Ideally I want to feed her at the breast but if not then I will give her my milk in a bottle. I really want this but am scared that I won't produce any milk. I have no idea how long it could take before I will no if I can get my milk back.....days?, weeks?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,965

    Default Re: Can I really do this?

    The "when" questions are the hardest to answer. If you're highly responsive to the pump, it could be just a few days or weeks before you start seeing milk. If not, it could be many weeks. And once you do have milk, it's also impossible to say when you can expect a large volume of it.

    As you pursue relactation, please don't get caught up in the all-or-nothing mindset. If you make so much milk that you can feed your baby exclusively from the breast, awesome! And if you max out at half a bottle per day, still awesome!!!! Every little bit counts as a huge success.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    5,431

    Default Re: Can I really do this?

    Aside from pumping, I suggest looking into lactation aids (at the breast supplementers.) these can be good tools when attempting to relactate, for low production, and for mothers nursing adopted babies.
    You can also consider galactagogues if the pump and/or baby nursing is not doing enough. There are many options. Relactation is real and possible, but it's not easy.

    I think you are feeling it is important to try, and I agree. Regret is a hard thing to live with. Whatever happens now, or happened in the past, you did the very best you could with the situation you were in at the time. Your baby nursed for 15 days, which is a lot, trust me. It matters. You obviously love your baby and she loves you. Your baby needs YOU, her one and only mommy. You are what is important. So you have not done anything to your little girl. She has not nursed in over four months, and is used to being fed with bottles. Of course she is not going to take the breast right away. She does not know what to do! It may take lots of patience and trying different things.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    45

    Default Re: Can I really do this?

    Thanks so much for the replies and advice. I am so glad I found this forum. My baby girl has no idea what my breasts are for anymore. she doesn't even open her mouth. I do keep trying but I don't want to stress her out. I feed her bottle as close to my breast as I can and I will just have to see how it goes. I am pumping every 2 hours and once through the night. Like I said in my post, ideally I want to feed her, at least as much as I can, from my breast but if I can't get her to latch then I still would like to give her my breast milk from a bottle. I am realistic and to be honest any amount I can produce will feel great. I have looked at lactation aids but there dont seem to be many in the uk, and I am already paying out to hire the pump. I will be so happy if I see any milk!
    I feel that I am giving it a good go and I cant do anymore than try. Its hard finding the time to pump because I am a single parent but I am doing my best and so far managing to do it every 2 hrs for 15mins. Oh and i started the fenugreek yest, solgar brand. It says 1 per day but from what I have read thats not enough for my needs, so I have been taking 2caps 3x per day. Does that seem ok?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    312

    Default Re: Can I really do this?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*oxygen78 View Post
    My girl is fine with formula but I feel I need to try this properly or regret it forever.
    I went through exactly what you are discussing with my first child. I still regret giving up, but I also had post natal depression (severe).

    I hope relactation works for you! Either way, this is where I went for support: http://www.mobimotherhood.org/ This is an online support group for mothers with difficult breastfeeding experiences, or when weaning happened before you were ready, etc. This is the support group link http://www.mobimotherhood.org/mobi-support-group.html

    You can join their support group on yahoo, the IBCLC who runs this (and all the members) are so wonderful, they respond to any questions very quickly. You can carry on conversations with them all day long and everyone will respond!
    and Mama to two little girls

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    45

    Default Re: Can I really do this?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*karrieperry View Post
    I went through exactly what you are discussing with my first child. I still regret giving up, but I also had post natal depression (severe).

    I hope relactation works for you! Either way, this is where I went for support: http://www.mobimotherhood.org/ This is an online support group for mothers with difficult breastfeeding experiences, or when weaning happened before you were ready, etc. This is the support group link http://www.mobimotherhood.org/mobi-support-group.html

    You can join their support group on yahoo, the IBCLC who runs this (and all the members) are so wonderful, they respond to any questions very quickly. You can carry on conversations with them all day long and everyone will respond!
    Thanks so much for this. I will check it out.
    Last 3 pump sessions i have had tiny bits of yellow discharge on one nipple esp. Its only tiny but have to start somewhere right.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    40

    Default Re: Can I really do this?

    That is a great sign and shows that things are moving in the right direction! I am on the same journey as you at the moment so I wish you all the luck.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    45

    Default Re: Can I really do this?

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*sweetpea01 View Post
    That is a great sign and shows that things are moving in the right direction! I am on the same journey as you at the moment so I wish you all the luck.
    Good luck to you! How is it going for you? Ive had more yellow blobs on both nipples....colostrum?

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