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Thread: Baby screaming and pushing me away during BF'ing?

  1. #11

    Default Re: Baby screaming and pushing me away during BF'ing?

    Thanks for everyone's replies and for taking your time to help me with this. We are still working on it and it's not getting any better. I am continuing to give her a bottle at night which is helping so much, she gets the fussiest at night. Unfortunately, we cannot afford to have someone watch her during the day at our home, it's way more expensive than taking her to someone's home. I also cannot keep her home with me while I try to sleep between shifts. That's not fair to me to not sleep, and for her to be around a mom who's trying to sleep all day. Therefore we have no option but to have to give her bottles and I wish there was a way around it. I am worried about my milk supply too while I'm at work but like I said I have no other option. I was changing her diapers between feeds because if I don't, she will fall asleep on the first breast, I will lay her down and she wakes right back up hungry. I have stopped doing the changes between breasts though and waiting until she is out, but she still wakes up within the hour. Which is fine but now we are just having these issues more often during the day. She spits up a lot when she gets like this, I don't know if she is like this because her tummy hurts or if her tummy hurts because she's crying so much and getting air in her belly. I am so frustrated and just ready to throw in the towel though. I'm crying sitting here typing this, she's barely are today because every time I have tried to feed her since 7 am she has been crying. She's cried all day and barely ate and I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of this and I hate breastfeeding but I don't want to give up because it's what's best for her.

  2. #12

    Default Re: Baby screaming and pushing me away during BF'ing?

    I have been working with a IBCLC over the phone and she has offered to meet with me but we haven't been having issues latching so I don't know what she will do for me in person that she hasn't tried to do over the phone and in person will just cost me money which I'm willing to pay but I don't see how it will help more than what she does over the phone for me

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2012

    Default Re: Baby screaming and pushing me away during BF'ing?


    I think you may want to consider reflux. The spitting up, inconsolable crying, and breast refusal are common symptoms. My son also gagged in between feedings. I followed all the tips on the Kelly mom link, including cutting dairy which really helped. I had to get used to reading labels again so I messed up a few times. Each time I did he was noticeably fussier for a couple days.
    It's totally normal behavior for a baby to wake up after being laid down. And to eat every hour. Can you look into a sling or carrier to keep her upright and close to you while she naps? My little guy takes all his naps in the ergo, unless I lay down and nap with him. He does cue to nurse again in an hour but I've gotten the hang of nursing in it so he barely wakes up and I can continue taking care of my oldest/doing housework.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Baby screaming and pushing me away during BF'ing?

    I agree reflux is something to look into. Also tongue and lip tie. I still think that oversupply is playing a role here, however that does not mean reflux or other issues could not also be happening and in fact overproduction/fast letdown would probably make other issues worse. r

    So your lactation consultant is giving you time for free over the phone but would charge for an in person appointment? Does she think it would help for you to meet? Because here's the thing. Sometimes latch can feel fine but still baby is having trouble. It sounds like your baby is unhappy nursing. There's some reason for that. I don't know whether the lactation consultant would be able to tell what it is or not or whether she will be able to help or not. but she probably is going to be able to rule some things out at the very least.

    However if you feel as if you will not be breast-feeding for much longer anyway, then I would agree it would might not be cost-effective to have a lactation consultant come and visit. The point of a lactation consultant visit aside from helping the immediate situation a ould be to help breast-feeding (or breast-milk feeding) to continue by (hopefully) solving whatever the problems are and to help you navigate the challenges that may come up once you are back at work. So I guess it kind of depends on what your goals are.

    I don't know how many shifts per week you are going to be doing, and obviously that makes a difference. but with a schedule where you are apart from your baby for almost the entire 24 hour day, it presents unique challenges for breastfeeding. It's not about fairness, biologically baby needs to be fed frequently and moms milk has to be removed from the breasts frequently. When mom and baby are together, nursing easily takes care of both. but when that is not possible obviously work arounds are needed and they don't always work as well as nursing.

    If you think that your goal would be more to be able to continue to provide your milk to your baby even if that means baby does not necessarily breast-feed, then I think keeping your milk production very high is possibly a smart idea assuming it does not cause you any physical problems. But i do wonder if it is affecting baby's happiness with nursing.

    If you wish to Pump and bottlefeed when apart and continue to breast-feed when with your baby, you're going to want to be careful to take every precaution that you can as far as how baby is bottle-fed in order to keep baby nursing at the breast once you're back at work. Nipple confusion (or bottle confusion or flow confusion it is known by many names) is not something that happens necessarily immediately. It is much more likely that over time baby would basically be trained away from nursing to the bottle. So if you want to keep breast-feeding that is something to think about. Of course frequent pumping with an excellent pump is also important.

    There is no right or wrong answer here. It depends on what is going to work for your family and your situation.

    I would suggest that with long separations from your baby, you might want to make choices that are most likely to allow the time you can be with baby to be as pleasant and as relaxing and comforting to you both as a they possibly can be. I don't have the answer as to what that would look like, but that would just be my suggestion mother to mother.

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