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Thread: 17m old going to sleep at night

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
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    35

    Default 17m old going to sleep at night

    Hi there
    So my daughter is 17m old and she has been reducing her drinking through the day allot these days. Sometimes I offer her the breast but she refuses and that is fine.

    I always let her fall to sleep with the breast but lately it is not helping her to settle down for the night. She really does not know how to fall a sleep otherwise and sometimes it takes up to 2hours to get her down. She has even started to wake up after 30min or so, thinking it is daytime and wanting to play or have a meal. When that happens she is maybe down for the night around 11 or 12! She drinks frequently during the night and is waking up for the day from 5am - 9.
    So her night rituals vary from day to day, but we try to do basically the same routine every night. She isnt a big fan of eating at dinner time and she has given up the oatmeal that she use to love before bedtime. She naps from 2-3hours a day and is very active and happy. Her bedtime is around 8.

    I was wondering what my next steps are. Should I continue to offer her the breast before bedtime or should I maybe night wean? Is this maybe a common thing for a child who is growing and getting more independent every day? Is this maybe not related to breastfeeding at all and I should try other things? No matter how relaxed bedtimes are she is always fighting them.

    Thanx so much
    Sweet, strong willed girl born in dec. 2012

  2. #2

    Default Re: 17m old going to sleep at night

    Hi. it can be challenging to mother a night owl. My middle son was like this in the toddler years.
    I guess I am unclear what your concern is. The lack of a regular time that your child goes to sleep at night? the frequent night wakings?
    in my personal experience, both are entirely normal. I have suggestions for promoting sleep, but you probably know them. (not too much loud or active play or bright indoor lighting before bed, keeping child away from tv or computer screens (at all, or at least for a couple hours prior to bedtime) darkening the sleep space, white noise.
    If the concern is that your child is not getting enough sleep overall, I would suggest, don't be. Assuming good general health, Unless you are actively trying to keep your child awake when they want to sleep, they are going to sleep the amount they need.

    When I got frustrated trying to nurse my son down in bed, I would give up and bring him into the living room while I read or watched tv. (Yes, I know what I just said about screens, but I needed my wind down time.)

    He is a wonderful sleeper now (he is 7) and has been for years. A toddler's normal sleep patterns are different than an older child's.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
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    35

    Default Re: 17m old going to sleep at night

    Im sorry I wasnt clear enough, maybe I really dont know what Im asking hehe.
    Well my concern is that she isnt getting enough sleep, cause she is very tired when in bed but cant find a way to settle down. Once the solution was the breast but now it is not making her sleepy enough. Its like she is not tired when we go to bed but she has been yawning for an hour before bed. I have been told that cause I always used the breast as a soothing devise she cant self-sooth and now when she does not want the breast that much during bedtime she does not know what to do to get sleepy. And then during the night she is waking every hour and then the breast is her best friend.

    Maybe this is more off a sleep question rather than a breastfeeding question. Not sure if this belongs here. Wondering if I night wean, what happens then? My friends seem to have the easiest time putting their children to bed or at least it is not taking them up to midnight.

    I actually had a good luck putting her down tonight. I put her in my rebozo and walked around the house (never done that before bedtime before), brushed her teeth and nursed her on the sofa. Then I asked if she was ready for bed and she kissed her daddy good night and we laid together in the bed (we co-sleep). She nursed to sleep in maybe 15min.

    x
    p.s english is not my first language, hope Im not writing too bad.
    Sweet, strong willed girl born in dec. 2012

  4. #4

    Default Re: 17m old going to sleep at night

    I have been told that cause I always used the breast as a soothing devise she cant self-sooth and now when she does not want the breast that much during bedtime she does not know what to do to get sleepy.
    There is not one shred of research supporting this idea. It's simply wrong. Children do not 'self soothe" at this age. Why is there a booming business in pacifiers, special night lights, lovies, etc, if young children can self soothe? Why do so many toddlers get bottle rot from being put in the crib with a bottle if children can self soothe? All of these things are being given to children because the children are being denied what they actually need for feeling safe enough to sleep, which is their mother lying beside them and nursing them or mother or father otherwise giving them comfort and company while they drift to sleep.

    Its like she is not tired when we go to bed but she has been yawning for an hour before bed.
    Maybe (this is a guess) her preferred (for now) bedtime is actually a bit earlier? If she has been yawning for an hour, that would suggest you might have missed the time she would have fallen asleep more easily and she becomes over-tired? Again, just a guess.

    Wondering if I night wean, what happens then?
    Indeed, what happens then? It's a good question. Your child loves to nurse at night, and that is when she does most of her nursing as she is so busy during the day. So I suspect, what would happen at least at first is a pretty upset baby. I night weaned one child at this age (for fertility reasons, not for sleep reasons) and the result was much less sleep for everyone. It was a relief when I became pregnant and could nurse as much as I and my son liked again.

    I actually had a good luck putting her down tonight. I put her in my rebozo and walked around the house (never done that before bedtime before), brushed her teeth and nursed her on the sofa. Then I asked if she was ready for bed and she kissed her daddy good night and we laid together in the bed (we co-sleep). She nursed to sleep in maybe 15min
    It sounds to me as if you are a loving mommy who is doing a great job of meeting her child's normal needs. With my son it was also unpredictable when he would settle more easily and when he would not. Every night was a bit of any adventure. Some kids settle more easily and predictably, my other two did/do, despite no difference in how they were fed or in the bedtime routine. I strongly believe this is an individual personality thing, almost always, and does not have anything to do with your nursing your child to sleep.

    p.s english is not my first language, hope Im not writing too bad.
    It's wonderful!

    If you like books, I suggest "Kiss Me, how to raise your child with love" by Carlos Gonzalez, a pediatrician. It's a great read and quite short, as parenting books go. I think his perspective will give you reassurance about the choices you are making in raising your daughter.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    35

    Default Re: 17m old going to sleep at night

    Thank u for that Tonight she went to bed later than usual (9:10 maybe) and she resisted for like 15min but then we sang and she wanted the breast again. Now she is soundly sleeping, for the next hour or two
    Yes I need to catch up on my reading, thanx for the suggestion!
    Sweet, strong willed girl born in dec. 2012

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