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Thread: Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2013
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    Default Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

    Hi Ladies,

    My 13 month old still wakes at least 4 times a night and wont settle unless I breastfeed him.. Do you think he is getting enough food in during the day? He attends Nursery and he has 3 meals a day and 4oz of Expressed Breastmilk. He nurses before he goes and when he returns home. I also nurse him to sleep... I would really like to think he should be going through the night, at least 11pm-6am perhaps? Is that realistic now?

    I really do need more sleep as 2 hour stretches are taking it's toll on me and my family

    Any advice welcomed xx

  2. #2
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    Mar 2013
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    Default Re: Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*cosmicbabe View Post
    Hi Ladies,

    I would really like to think he should be going through the night, at least 11pm-6am perhaps? Is that realistic now?

    I really do need more sleep as 2 hour stretches are taking it's toll on me and my family

    Any advice welcomed xx
    I would say it absolutely depends on your baby. Is it realistic for a baby who takes a pacifier and sleeps in a crib all night? Possibly and possibly not. For a baby who sleeps next to Mom and nurses to sleep and loves to nurse for many reasons? Probably not.

    I wish I had more advice to give you but my 16 month old does the same thing. It gets better sometimes, sometimes not. She doesn't nurse to sleep at night any more but does so for naps. At night she learned how to talk her self to sleep with my husband laying on the bed, and now she sings herself to sleep actually.

    The only things that help me are to try not to expect too much from my daughter, and just remember that she's only 16 months old. The less I expect the happier I am! If we still haven't moved forward in a year I might feel differently, maybe not.

    If you absolutely need more sleep then you'd probably have to change your sleeping arrangement or get your partner involved, etc.

    And also, in my experience, the waking to nurse is usually a symptom of something else for my daughter: uncomfortable, too hot/too cold, overtired (that's a huge one!), and possibly legitimately hungry if she didn't like her dinner that was served. I remember another person posting the same thing, that the constant waking was to comfort themselves by nursing because something else was wrong.
    and Mama to two little girls

  3. #3
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    May 2006
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    Default Re: Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

    Impossible for us to say whether or not he's eating enough by day. I mean, most likely he is! And eliminating the night feedings might encourage him to increase his daytime food intake. But we can't promise anything.

    How is his weight gain/growth? That often paints a better picture of intake than any behavioral measure.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
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    May 2013
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    Default Re: Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

    He is on the 90th Centile and has always been... Is that good?.. Hes Tall, his dad is 6ft 4 and so are all his brothers ect... I don't mind if its something like him being uncomfortable but as long as he isn't hungry or its just out of habit really? I work full time and I am starting to not function.. I have done every single night wake up since birth... My partner isn't good with that side of parenting (luckily for him )... Sometimes being BF when he wakes is starting to not always work anyway and he thinks its time to be awake so maybe he just wants to get up...

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

    It was normal for my daughter! Actually, I'd estimate she was nursing something like 8-10 times a night at 12-13 months of age. And she was a big solids eater by that point, and did plenty of nursing during the day when I was home, and was still consuming about 9 oz a day in expressed milk while I worked. My daughter is also very big--above the 99th percentile in height, rides the 97-99th in weight, so she was certainly not hurting for nutrition, either. But she was, and still is, a very frequent nurser, both for comfort and for milk, so I did not expect that she would start sleeping long stretches without nursing at the year point.

    My daughter will be 18 months old, and it's still not realistic for her to go 11 pm-6 am without nursing. Things are much better though...well, I think we're down to about 4-5 nursing sessions overnight. (I don't count them, as it really messes with my sleep, but that's my best guess.) I truly believe my daughter is thirsty and also that she just needs the comfort, I don't think it's habitual wakings for her. Well, she doesn't usually even "wake." We bedshare, and the closest to a "waking" we get is that she murmurs "mama" in her sleep, and latches on.

    I have no plans to change anything on our front because nursing has almost always been the ticket to staying asleep in our house. But it sounds like nursing isn't necessarily always helping your son get back to sleep, so I can see the logic in trying something new for this situation! You say your partner isn't good with nighttime parenting, but I think I would for sure ask him to help out a bit at this point. If you've gone in and nursed, and baby still doesn't want to sleep, this sounds like the perfect time for a hand off to Dad. And this is in fact exactly what I do on the very rare occasions my daughter has woken all the way up at night and isn't easily settling!

    If partner help is not in the cards, I think I'd try tweaking everything else to maximize the sleep opportunities I had. Keep baby as close to you as possible at night to minimize how much you have to move/get up, go to bed early with the baby, that sort of thing. 13 months really does seem to be a particularly wakeful age for a lot of kids; I know plenty of moms who straight up sleep trained that still dealt with multiple night wakings at that age.
    Apologies for the short responses! I'm usually responding one-handed on my smartphone!

  6. #6
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    Dec 2011
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    379

    Default Re: Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

    Quote Originally Posted by cosmicbabe
    My partner isn't good with that side of parenting (luckily for him )...
    Practice makes better. Time for him to make an effort. It's unfair to saddle you with the hard work without at least offering the option to sound you off sometimes.

    Incidentally, we're at 2.5 years of bedsharing with multiple night wakings. While an uninterrupted night-long sleep is obviously ideal, I find having DS right next to me allows most of the night feedings to happen in my sleep. Just my experience, YMMV.

  7. #7
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    May 2013
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    Default Re: Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

    I don't want to continue feeding all night anymore.... I co-slept for the first 6 months but he has been in his own room since then. I don't want to go back to that, there just isn't enough room and he moves about too much and he wakes just as much anyway.

    I think I am ready to start weaning him now... He stays with my mum once a month and he happily goes to sleep in his cot for her and only wakes once! She stays at ours so there is no reason he shouldn't be doing this for me?..

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

    Of course there's a reason he's not sleeping long stretches for you! The best of all possible reasons: he loves you, he wants to be close to you, and being close to you includes nursing. It's wonderful to have a baby who adores you so much- but if it's causing you to be miserable then you can change it! He's in the 90th %ile so it's not like you have a scrawny baby who may still really need night feedings.

    A lot of moms here- myself included- have used the Jay Gordon approach, or something similar, for night-weaning: http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html. Just remember that night-weaning is not a guarantee of perfect sleep or even better sleep!
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

    He is definitely old enough to go ahead and try to night wean if the waking is making you miserable. Though a more realistic stretch of sleep to go for would be about 5 hours. I also used Dr. Gordon's method (which mommal linked you to) and it worked well for us, but his method also recommends choosing a 5 hour stretch of the night that you'd like to cut out nursings for. Just know that actively night weaning means that things will likely get harder before they get better. Especially if your baby's current wakings are due to something like getting her one year molars, which can go on for a long time and is pretty painful for them. Something like that may mean your baby will probably still wake up, you just won't be nursing them back to sleep, which for some moms is not worth the extra hassle. I chose to wait to night wean my daughter until she had all her teeth, which I believe made it easier.
    “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”
    --Anonymous

  10. #10
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    May 2013
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    Default Re: Still up 4+ times a night to feed.....

    If I'm being honest I want my cake and eat it. I want to keep my magic tool for painful times and to soothe him but I also want to sleep more. Sometimes I can be nursing him to sleep for over an hour and he still wakes up when he unlatches!! He just can't seem to settle on his own ever. Even laid on me he fights cuddles and rocking and boob is the only answer but I don't want it to be the only way anymore....
    I have read Jay Gordon and I will start with this. I will aim for the 11-5 slot!! Will night weaning reduce my supply?... X

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