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Thread: Going back to work PLUS Sleep training

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Oct 2012

    Default Re: Going back to work PLUS Sleep training

    Quote Originally Posted by @llli*xiaoshira View Post
    Yes, understood... Couple things though - and seriously I'm not trying to be difficult, just want to try my best to be understood on this one - 1) sleep training does not necessarily mean the goal of having baby sleep 12 hours/no night feeding - There are ways to sleep train and still keep night feedings, and we need NOT to make moms feel like the only two choices are zero night feeding or feeding all night long and 2) miserable/ possibly soon-to-be unemployed mom is MUCH more detrimental to ongoing nursing than night weaning. If the goal of the forum is really helping moms make breastfeeding work, then we have to look beyond our own choices to try to come up with solutions that help moms make breastfeeding work in their situations. And a nearly-uniform stance that sleep training is morally wrong and/or per se incompatible with breastfeeding is not advancing that goal.

    When I linked a friend to this thread (the one who ultimately persuaded me to do some form of sleep training after a month of misery and depression) she told me, you don't belong there, those aren't your people. That makes me sad, but she may be right - but for anyone reading this thread in the future, just know that it *is* possible to help your baby's sleep improve and continue to exclusively breastfeed, even when you have supply issues like me.
    There are a thousand and one decisions we make as parents. Epidural or not? Home birth or hospital? Breast or bottle? Cloth diapers or disposables? Work or not? Daycare, homecare, nanny? Spoon-fed purees or baby-led solids? Vaccinate? Screen time- what age, how long, how often? Do you let your school-age kid watch a PG-13 movie? Sleepovers? Timeouts? Sleepaway camps? And the list goes on... For most decisions there is no one right answer, and what works for one child or family may not work for another. A good way to drive yourself crazy, though, is to worry about what other people think about each decision. Ultimately, you're the mom, you decide what is good for your child, your family, yourself. There are plenty of people out there who think it is downright harmful to breastfeed a two-year-old. Does that opinion annoy me? Yes. Does it change my behavior? No. Am I going to point out the benefits of breastfeeding a two-year-old to anyone who's willing to listen? Yes! I don't think it's realistic to think that someone who has a strongly held opinion on a particular topic is going to suggest you do the opposite. I mean, no one on here is going to suggest that exclusive formula feeding is the way to go, and why should they? The specific purpose of this forum is to encourage and support breastfeeding. But there are plenty of people who make the decision that formula feeding is the best thing for them, and that's their right. Some of those people are friends of mine and I respect their decision. Because I'm not walking in their shoes. But it doesn't change my general opinion that formula feeding is inferior to breastfeeding.

    In my opinion, if you get something useful out of the forum, participate. It seems to me that you do. But don't tell people what they can and cannot say. I think being respectful and non-judgmental is a worthy goal. But people are going to have their opinions, and they may be strongly held ones, and you will almost certainly disagree with some of those opinions. As djs.mom says there are all sorts of people on here. There are people who are really different from me and live a very different life from mine, but I still can learn from them. And sometimes I even change my mind.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jun 2009

    Default Re: Going back to work PLUS Sleep training

    A resource I like for parents who are interested in learning more about normal infant and young child sleep patterns, information on choices about where baby sleeps, and the research on various methods for increasing sleep is Www.isisonline.org.uk

    There are several common parenting practices and family situations that have the potential to interfere with milk production and normal breast-feeding. When these things are combined, it is more likely they will interfere. Of course in some cases they don't interfere. Those things are scheduling or stretching out the time between nursing sessions, sleep training, Separations such as for work that requires a mother to pump part of the time, baby being overfed via bottle by their caregiver, baby being supplemented with formula or expressed milk at times when it is not necessary, (for example at times when mother and child are not separated) pacifier overuse; early, rapid or aggressive introduction of solid foods; giving an infant some other type of liquid such as water or juice too early or too often, and probably some others that I can't think of right now. All of these have the potential to cause issues with breast-feeding and/or milk production no matter how old baby is.

    Pointing out these facts is the responsibility of anyone who is purporting to help mothers breast-feed for as long as they and their baby desire. But talking about them need not be perceived as an admonition that none of these practices should ever occur. Obviously most of them will occur to some degree in most parenting situations. And breast-feeding can continue as long as the appropriate precautions are taken.

    I think that this thread shows that this forum has a diverse amount of opinions. And that is only looking at the handful of people who actually posted on this thread. Of course the breast-feeding world is much wider than this thread, this forum and la Leche league.

    When I lead a Lll meeting, at the beginning of the meeting I always suggest that mothers take what works for them, and leave the rest. I think there are disclaimers on this forum to the same effect. We are not going to agree on everything and that is perfectly fine and healthy. Anyone who wishes to discuss parenting and breast-feeding issues is welcome here. I would also add that respectful posts are probably the most effective, but of course what sounds respectful to one person may sound less respectful to another. Also sometimes emotions run high, very understandable when we are talking about something that is so important to us. Also there is a natural diversity in how people express themselves.
    Last edited by @llli*lllmeg; April 27th, 2014 at 09:47 AM. Reason: Posted wrong link

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