Re: Going back to work PLUS Sleep training
Depends on how your supply is doing and on what is convenient for you. If your baby spontaneously wakes on her own and you're having no trouble pumping enough to cover her needs, there's no pressing need to wake her to nurse unless it would be more convenient for you to nurse her right before you go to bed, in the hopes that it will keep her asleep while you're getting your sleep. But if your baby isn't waking enough on her own, or you're finding that your pump output is slipping, then it makes sense to wake her more often.
Do I try to feed her while she's sleeping? Or wait to see if she asks for it on her own?
Not familiar with that book, but judging by what I've read about it, it sounds like it sells cry-it-out sleep training using fear-mongering ("Babies who don't get sleep-trained never, ever sleep and grow up to be axe murderers!") and misdirection ("No, of course this isn't harsh CIO! This is nice! Babies love it! Pay no attention to the little man behind the curtain!"). IMO, any book that tries to scare you into ignoring your instincts should be thrown out the window.
Off topic: The book my husband read was The Sleepeasy Solution. He wants to sleep train because he doesn't want to co-sleep and end of having the kids stuck in bed for years (he's heard a lot of stories from coworkers).
Having your LO in bed with you for years has nothing to do with what you do now. Right now, you have an infant who needs you and needs to eat at night. Attending to her needs now does not equal having a nighttime visitor in the future. And if having her in bed does become a problem for you in the future, deal with it then. Don't borrow trouble over something that may or may not happen!
This sounds very irritating and not relaxing at all. I know you feel like co-sleeping won't work for you, but have you tried it? It might be preferable to the rush to replace the paci and attentiveness to the baby monitor. It also might not- but perhaps it's worth a try?
We also don't cosleep bc I'm a very light sleeper and she's a noisy/grunty sleeper. Currently, we're swaddling and using the pacifier to help her sleep. The pacifier is becoming the enemy bc she wakes up every time it falls out. We're glued to the baby monitor to watch the pacifier and we rush in every time it falls out.
Don't worry about it. She is way too young for this to be a concern. For a young baby, healthy sleep habits mean a bedtime routine, a consistent but flexible bedtime, and lots of night-waking and night-nursing. If you want to read a breastfeeding-friendly book about infant sleep, I recommend Elizabeth Pantley's "The No-Cry Sleep Solution".
As a first time mom, I have no idea what the right thing to do is in terms of sleep. I do want her to develop good sleeping habits and be able to fall asleep on her own. Not sure which way to go on achieving that.
Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"