Happy Mothers Breastfed Babies
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

  1. #1

    Default 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

    Hi all

    My first post on here, looking for some advice and to hear experiences others have had.

    My 20 month old daughter has been EBF and I am letting her self wean, she loves solid food and eats well, but still likes 2 or 3 breast milk drinks a day (sometimes in the afternoon I’ll offer her a snack if she asks for milk instead and she happy with that (sometimes). She is such a happy child too.

    She has and can sleep through the night, she does suffer from trapped wind, so when she wakes she calls for me, lately she won’t go back to sleep without being nursed.

    I forgot to say, she will self settle in her cot (we did do some co-sleeping when she was younger, but only occasssionally) I put her in her cot then sit by the door until she drops off (we have 'bedtime' milk downstairs so she doesn't associate it with being nursed to sleep - as we did go through a phsae of this)

    On the second time last night I said ‘no, you’ve already had milky’ and she sobbed like it was the end of the world, I felt so mean denying her, and after a while I gave in, I couldn’t see her being upset was very kind.

    Family think I’ve made a rod for my own back. I don’t agree with ‘crying it out’ and just couldn’t do it, even if these ‘other’ methods probably would work quickly, I couldn’t hear her in distress.

    Some nights it’ll only be once. The broken sleep can take it’s toll some days, but I don’t mind getting up to her, it’s never a chore. I'm very happy with out 'extended' breastfeeding relationship (family isn't supportive though)

    I guess I’m asking do I just ride it out? Will she eventually just stop asking at night herself naturally?
    Thanks for any comments in advance!
    Zoe
    Last edited by @llli*zoeuk; April 4th, 2014 at 04:44 AM.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    2,209

    Default Re: 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

    If it doesn't bother you to nurse her at night, then I would just nurse her at night. No need to discuss it with your family! I'm sure at some point she will stop asking to nurse at night, just as at some point, she will stop nursing altogether. But if at some point you decide you don't want to nurse at night anymore, your LO is old enough that you can start discussing it with her. "When the sun goes to bed, so does milky, when the sun comes up, milky wakes up," etc. I've been surprised by how responsive my LO (who is two) has been to that kind of discussion! But as with any discussion with a toddler, repetition and consistency are key.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    20,852

    Default Re: 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

    What you do at this point is up to you. If you are happy- or at least okay- with nursing a few times a night, there is absolutely no harm in it and your child will eventually give it up.

    You have in no way made a rod for your own back. People forget that it's totally normal for babies and young children to wake frequently at night, and to need adult help to resettle into sleep. Nursing just happens to be the fastest way to sooth a night-waking toddler back to sleep. And as the PP said, no need to mention your sleep situation to your family! If they are inquisitive types, it might help to put a big smile on and say "We're sleeping great, thanks for asking! Oh, you want details? Well, I just don't remember. Funny how that works, when you wake up well-rested." That way you won't be opening yourself up to criticism. If you need support, you can always come here!

    As the PP suggested, communication works wonders, so if you do decide to take a mother-led approach to night-weaning, make that part of the program.
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    California
    Posts
    418

    Default Re: 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

    Yes, she will eventually stop waking up at night to nurse to sleep. When that will happen is anybody's guess. My son finally started sleeping through the night when he was around 26 months old. Even before that, we would nurse if he woke in the middle of the night, but nursing became less effective in getting him fully back to sleep, so I started nursing, then putting him in his crib, then waiting there with a hand on his back or sitting beside him until I was sure he was back to sleep, then sneaking out. This is a problem that will eventually take care of itself with time and patience. I know how it feels being told you created this problem--I've certainly heard that one, too. But it's not really a problem, unless it's a problem for you. If it is, night-weaning is perfectly reasonable, and will be easier in a couple months as your toddler's language improves. Best of luck!
    First-time mama to Joshua, 10/29/11. 29 months and going strong! for 14 months; now finished with pump weaning!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,307

    Default Re: 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

    my darling 20 month old just woke up, my husband brought her to me, and I am at this moment nursing her back to sleep while I am at the computer.

    There is nothing at all wrong with nursing your child to sleep, nursing overnight, or co-sleeping, all the time or just 'as needed." These do not make parenting harder. It makes it easier.

    I never would have survived mothering three kids through baby and toddlerhood without this secret weapon.

    For well meaning folks who ask too many questions, here is a story. I just had to see my doctor (my regular internist) because I have mastitis and needed antibiotics. Of course, she asked me how often my daughter was 'still' nursing. I knew she was not asking out of concern I was nursing her too little, which would have been the proper concern in a case of lactation connected mastitis. Of course, I have actually been making a concerted effort to increase the number of nursing sessions during this time to help me get better.

    even in my fevered state I think I came up with a pretty good answer for questions like this. "The normal amount."

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Nashville, TN
    Posts
    520

    Default Re: 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

    The PPs have all answered well I just wanted to let you know my 21 month old needs to be nursed to sleep and back to sleep if I'm the one putting her down. She does not sleep through the night and a fantastic night for me would be two wakings with a pretty quick return to sleep via nursing. And we do get that more and more these days. Our daughter can't be put to sleep alone and never has been. We are just fine with that. But to be candid your situation sounds dreamy to me.
    If getting her back to sleep via nursing is unsuccessful and I'm looking at a bad night, daddy takes over. She'll go down in 5 min with him. They'll sleep together in the guest bed or stay in our bed and I'll go sleep.
    I do think it's useful to get your child used to being put to sleep by others. I work full time and my daughter goes down very well for our nanny or my husband when I'm not there. However she does sleep on them as well. She just sleeps better and longer and more happily with a warm body.
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    307

    Default Re: 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

    Same here, our daughter has never been put to sleep alone, she goes to sleep with me for naps and with dad for bedtime. Always needs to be nursed back to sleep. She is almost 16 months old. I considered night weaning because I thought that nursing was the reason she was waking up all night crying loudly. Then she stopped! She would wake up crying or even screaming, almost every time, for months and months. Then we gave her a special pillow for her little mattress (which is right up against ours and between ours and the wall, so we have a huge bed). It's a buckwheat hull pillow, my husband has one and she loves it so much we got her one. As long as she has her pillow, she still wakes up and nurses but the crying/screaming has stopped.

    Your daughter will grow out of it, for sure. When that will happen is anyone's guess. I'm convinced that it's totally developmental and even personality...my child needs someone to be present in the room for sleep to happen. My other daughter doesn't. My brother in law needed his mom in the room for sleep as well (until he was like 3), so it's not uncommon in my opinion. And also, I think potty training is a huge thing too. It's probably somewhat uncomfortable to be in a diaper all night long, and I'm sure it feels much more comfortable in underwear when they are older.
    and Mama to two little girls

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    160

    Default Re: 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

    just want to agree with everyone. mine is 29 mo and also wakes up afew times wanting to nurse back to sleep. We co-sleep and she gives me all night till 6 am now (e.g. 11pm-6am) then wakes up every few hrs to nurse until 9 or 10 AM. this is working well for me. except whn she is teething, or sick, then it is more wake-ups.

  9. #9

    Default Re: 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

    Thank you everyone for your replies and experiences, after reading a few threads here I feel reassured that it is 'okay' if that makes sense.


    Even my other half asks 'why is she still waking at night' and sometimes tuts and huffs when I give her her morning milk (which she asks for) so it's not always great when you don't have the understanding and support around you.

    She is usually half asleep when I put her back down into her cot, if she wakes in quick succession I will just stroke her head or pat her back until she settles back down.

    She actually went to sleep for Daddy last week at bedtime, they laid on our bed together and she fell asleep - usually it's always me putting her to bed, and I make sure we have 'bedtime' milk downstairs first then I do gradual retreat from her room, so she is kinda self settling at bed time.

    Just some mornings you feel the broken sleep more than others and you just can't tell whether she'll wake or not the next!

    But reading some stories above, I do count myself lucky it is usually only twice and around 10 mins at a time!

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Nashville, TN
    Posts
    520

    Default Re: 20 Month Old Still Requiring Milk to get back to sleep

    We are having a lot of luck with daddy sleep. I'm planning on letting our daughter self wean but sometimes the number of wake ups is tough on me. Especially before a workday. Or I just need some guaranteed uninterrupted sleep. I'll stay in the bed several hours and when I wake to pee, which I always do, sometimes I'll head to the guest room and finish my sleep out there. As she's gotten older I've started to get more opportunities to sneak out while she's between us, vs on me. Extracting myself from her has always been a challenge no matter how slowly and meticulously I go.
    1st time mom over 40 to Alex(andra) b: 7/14/12

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •