Re: A Little Overwhelmed
Ah, the ol' "He's just a little bit tongue tied."
Both my boys were tongue tied. With DS1 I was told he was "a little bit tongue tied, it shouldn't affect nursing". Well, it didn't, but that's mostly because of my extreme oversupply and overactive letdown (I could spray several feet, it was crazy!). His "little" tongue tie resulted in him being extremely speech delayed -- at 2 years old he was completely silent. His pediatrician recommended speech therapy. I ended up taking him to an ENT and dentist who both said "Yep, he's tongue tied. It's probably what's preventing him from talking." His "little" tongue tie turned out to be one of the worst posterior tongue ties either had seen -- it was very thick, and very short. But because the tip of DS1's tongue was free, the pediatrician had said his tie didn't need clipping. The dentist ended up lasering the tie (heckuva lot cheaper and didn't require general anesthesia like the ENT would have). Releasing the tie and a short stint (6 months) in speech therapy brought DS1's speech up to his age group. Now, at 3.5, you'd never know that he'd been tongue tied. Can't get him to be quiet now! We are, however, still dealing with issues left over from the tongue tie -- reflux and tooth decay. Because his tongue wasn't mobile for over 2 years, he had really bad cavities, such that his four upper incisors are capped. He also had silent reflux that went undiagnosed until recently, but he's had the symptoms his whole life. His current pediatrician (a different one than the one that told me his tie was inconsequential) says it's likely a holdover from his tongue tie.
With DS2 I had it clipped when he was 3 weeks old. World of difference! The procedure was simple -- I swaddled him, they took him back, clipped it, and he was back nursing immediately afterward. I wish I had done it that early with DS1. DS2 is now 15 months old and is beginning to talk.
I highly recommend you have that tie checked by an ENT, and make sure it's not a posterior tie! And have him checked for an upper lip tie as well. Those can also affect speech, dental health, and nursing.
The black spots sound like scabs or small dots of blood, maybe? My guess is your nipple split open because of the tongue tie. If he's not sucking correctly, that will cause cracks and bleeding. Lanolin can help the cracks heal.
Breastfeeding, babywearing, sci-fi loving, total geek of a mom!
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. — Dr. Seuss