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Thread: looking for the perfect breastfeeding relationship

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    109

    Default Re: looking for the perfect breastfeeding relationship

    It must he really hard to be surrounded by people who love you & your daughter but don't appreciate what you are doing for her. Have you ever shared information with them about the benefits of breastfeeding a toddler?

    I can imagine that it makes any decision you make that much harder, because you're wanting to do the right thing but also please people who are important to you.

    You sound pretty sure about wanting to nightwean her at least. Have you read Dr Jay Gordon's nightweaning advice for co sleeping toddlers? http://http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
    It takes time and effort to nightwean an attached baby. Perseverance, mostly. I'd be happy to share my experience, if you have more questions about nwing.

    Re the weekend, plenty of breastfed toddlers spend time away from their mothers at this age and are not weaned. It's not a requirement.
    Mama to a sweet kitty born July 2012.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    21,103

    Default Re: looking for the perfect breastfeeding relationship

    Some times her grandparent´s say that they cant have her for a whole weekend cause she is STILL breastfeeding. When is it normal for a child to go away from her parents for 2days? Its not bothering me that she is with me all the time, I love it. Maybe I would want to have a day or a night to my self but thats all.
    What is it with these grabby grandparents? They got their chance to play mommy and daddy when they raised their kids. Now it's your turn, and you do not owe your parents or your in-laws a whole weekend with your child unless YOU want that to happen! I personally did not feel comfortable leaving my firstborn with her grandparents until she was 3.5 years old, and I still haven't left my second born child (almost 4 years old) for more than a few hours. It's normal not to want to be separated from your very young children! When you're ready for overnights away from your baby, you'll know. Don't let anyone push you into it if you're not ready.

    ETA: if your sister's wedding is not a child-friendly event, can you bring a sitter to the venue?
    Coolest thing my big girl said recently: "How can you tell the world is moving when you are standing on it?"
    Coolest thing my little girl sang recently: "I love dat one-two pupples!"

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    44

    Default Re: looking for the perfect breastfeeding relationship


    Yes it is very hard when friends and family seem not to trust me with my parenting choices. I have not shared the benefits with my family but I have with my friends and they allways give me that look.. Im on my last year of studying to become a nutritionist and its weird that they dont even take that into count that I actually know for a fact what is healthy. Thank u for the link, I will read it later today Do u still breastfeed but have night weaned? I would love some advise! My little one is small compared to other kids her age. But she has allways been and she is very much active and happy all day. Our nurse at the clinic was asking if she was not eating enough cause of she´s still breastfeeding and I said that I didnt think so . She has never been a big eater. She mostly likes fruits and veggies, grains and beens, but not very fond of meat or fish (except when it is very much seasoned..).

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    44

    Default Re: looking for the perfect breastfeeding relationship

    Thank u. I think so too! Cant seem to understand why they are so eager to have her for a whole weekend. Cause we visit them a lot!
    My sister has no kids and she thinks that children will ruin her wedding.. haha. I think that my daughter will not want to stay with the sitter if she sees me there

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    44

    Default Re: looking for the perfect breastfeeding relationship

    I just want to thank all of u who are giving me support! I have never found that in friends or family, thank you all. Cause of LLL I have found the courage to keep breastfeeding (but still want to night wean) though my daughter is going away for a weekend in june I will keep on visiting this forum in the future!

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    109

    Default Re: looking for the perfect breastfeeding relationship

    With some people, it seems to work better to avoid the subject if possible. If they can't say anything nice, then I don't say anything at all!

    Yes, I still breastfeed after nightweaning. It was a good compromise for me. I'm at a stage where I need to put limits on my daughter's nursing, so that I can go on doing it happily. Although at first nightweaning did not help her sleep any better (it even seemed to backfire), eventually she did, and if she woke and needed me in the night, putting her back to sleep was much quicker without nursing. This was the clincher for me: when she was little, nursing was the quickest easiest way to get her to sleep, but now it was taking easily 3x as long as back rubbing. It no longer made sense to me as a parenting tool. She nursed plenty in the day, so I decided to cut out the night.

    I used a modified version Dr Jay Gordon's method. http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

    The modifications I made were based on what I learned or intuited about my dd after the first failed attempt.

    For me, it's better to adjust what your breastfeeding relationship looks like to suit BOTH of you, than to give up altogther because part of it no longer works for you.
    Mama to a sweet kitty born July 2012.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    44

    Default Re: looking for the perfect breastfeeding relationship

    Its so nice to get all kinds of advise. Im actually at my in laws this weekend and I was asked if she was still breastfeeding and I just calmly said YES! And nothing more. And I got no more questions about it The best thing was that I didnt feel the need to explain and I was glad with my answer. My boyfriend sister has a girl who is 6m younger than our daughter and she is breastfeeding her, but regularly explains that she is about to wean her. I can tell she thinks her girl is too old for this stuff and weaning her is taking allot of effort. I have always been very understanding and supportive but she has not been the same with my choices :/
    Sweet, strong willed girl born in dec. 2012

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Montreal
    Posts
    109

    Default Re: looking for the perfect breastfeeding relationship

    You might be a positive example to some people and not even realize it!

    Congratulations, by the way, on dealing with the question beautifully!
    Mama to a sweet kitty born July 2012.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Posts
    44

    Default Re: looking for the perfect breastfeeding relationship

    Thanx!
    Sweet, strong willed girl born in dec. 2012

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